Stay Strong - Comments

A mistake or two, but that was the only issue. This was another great piece, although not as great as some of your others. This still had its own attraction, all the same. I was hanging on every word, excited for her and relieved for her, everything. The short background information filled in any missing gaps and it felt like I had been one of her friends, one of those trying to show her better and feeling joy the moment she breaks it off with him.
You did really well, and connected the three words very swell! I definitely enjoyed it and was grinning widely when it ended- which is a great effect, making your readers feel something. Only the good ones can do that!! :)
89/100

The kind of guy who thought drink driving accidents
This should be drunk, not drink.

That was the only mistake I found. :)

This story was amazingly awesome. I'm surprised it only has three (and now four) comments, aha. It should have many many more.<3

I like how she went through these stages and how you gave us those little insights of detail as to how poorly of a boyfriend (perhaps just person, aha) he was.

And like the person above me said, I like how thin his parts are thin, (the detail is mostly about how she's changing, which is lovely). It leaves the reader to be creative and imagine how jerky he was. Gracious, I want some beef jerky now, aha.<3 Sorry, I got distracted. :)

Anywho, your detail and imagery in this peice were amazingly gorgeous. I just ate it up, aha. I also like how accenting the layout was. It had an Koi-pond kind of feel to it.

Another small detail I found that I enjoyed, was the girl's (I really can't pronounce her name. D:) desicion to drop her phone in the pond. I found myself giggling there, for sure. I like how she's moving on. :) That's a really great action-symbol showing it.

Amazing Job. <3 :)

Perfect imagery, even if I have to say so myself. A good example:

Around her, the darkening twilight was calm. The sun dipped lower and lower in the sky, tickling the clouds pinks and oranges, the sky turning darker, blackness beginning to take over.

Your character descriptions themselves were great. The way Jacinta's [infuriating] ex was described just...well, it infuriated me. But, in a good way :)

Jacinta didn’t care, though.
^I liked that she stops caring, and starts fighting back.

He was apologizing, saying he would change.
^Yeah f*cking right. Get a life chump! Hahaha! -cue evil laughter-

Suddenly everything came to a head inside Jacinta.
^I don't really understand what this line is about. Mmm... >.<

...settling among the coloured stones and the ornaments left there to entertain the fish.
^The thought of a phone entertaining fish makes me want to giggle. Smart fish :)

The fact that you left Jacinta's ex face and nameless is a major plus. Makes us able to just fill in the blanks with our own personal spins, y'know. Another great story from an equally great writer!

Impressively done :)

Okay, one thing: you have "drink driving." I think you mean "drunk driving" right?

So the imagery is absolutely amazing. I really have a picture of the scene in my head, and that's not easy for me to do. I loved how she ended up dropping the phone in the pond, because it just seemed to perfect with the story. This is definately one of the best one-shots I've read on here.

Inside the pond, the phone was still ringing. Jacinta let out a groan of disbelief and gouged out her own ears to stop the noise.

XD

I really kind of wanted the phone to be still working in the water, because some phones are made that tough.

I liked this though. I liked that it was after the breakup and not before, as she was still thinking it over. I also liked that you came up with this with the words you were given. Very well done!