The Adventure - Comments

Moonlight illuminated me every night. - this is a nice line to start the story off, for me it reads quite unusually because I would have thought of moonlight illuminating everything around the character, but this is different so it makes you think a little about the character and how it would work this way.

shake as the sun began to set down, - I'm a little unsure with the last words in this part of the sentence, you're saying the sun is setting right? I was thinking maybe it would work with 'settle?' I don't know, just an idea. :)

I remember staring at them, hoping they had the answers to the questions I didn’t know. - I really like this line here, because again, they're often associated as 'knowing' the answers in a way, you find yourself talking to the moon in an instance of need and there's a comfort in that where you might find an answer. But I like here that the narrator doesn't have any answers and they're not given by the sun or the moon.

I knew she was unhappy because it was too late to leave her life, - I also think this line here is really great. I like the use of the word 'life' and how leaving life would generally mean dying, but in this case the mother has to give up her life - dreams, aspirations, etc - for everyone else around her. I like the connotations in the line. :)

Sharp pain began to run - A sharp pain or sharp pains

were a lot of thing - things :)

There where so many - were

like a princes, - extra 's' :)

Call it destiny, call it faith, call it whatever you want to. All I know is life can either be an adventure or a routine, it all depends whether you’re a risk taker or a stick in the mud. - this is a lovely ending. :) I like how it kind of confronts the reader with a questioning of how they would go about things - are they risk takers or are they like her mother. :)

I think this was written quite well, I liked the narrative and the descriptions on the moonlight, the sun and the moon. Nature in stories is always wonderful to read. And I like how you're character is narrating about being on the road, so she's kind of in between places until the end. :) It's really nice. I also like how you don't specify what town she's leaving and what one she's coming to, I think that's cool because it just leaves the reader with the impression of something small and her maybe going to something bigger with more adventures. :) It's a nice story with a nice message in it. :)

I think this is the coolest thing i have ever read. :D

This was wonderful in every way. It was beautifully written and everything flowed together so well. I could relate to it very easily, being a small town girl who just doesn't fit in, and I can't wait to go on my own adventure. Lovely piece of writing, nice job.

Wow, this is wonderful, m'dear.

It's so dreamy and relatable, very well-written to boot.

This story means something. And that is amazing.

<3

I absolutely adored this. I could relate to it so much. I’ve always had the urge to just hit the road and this story right here summed up exactly why I want to do it. I think it sums up exactly why anyone would want to do it. You raise so many good points in this story and it’s so intriguing. I literally just got sucked into reading it and I couldn’t look away from the screen. It was like I was there, like I was starting out on my own big adventure too.

Your closing words really jumped out at me. I’m off to college in less than two weeks and I really will remember that quote, to remind me to take every opportunity I can. This was wonderfully written and a beautiful piece of work. I’ve never read anything like it and I doubt I ever will. Excellent job, well done!