Via Webcam. - Comments

So I’m not a fan of alternate universes, but I do enjoy myself a little Ryden from time to time. And the ‘being away at college’ part made this story quite interesting, haha.

I didn’t realize they were boyfriends in this story until I saw written, but that’s just me. The story definitely took an interesting twist after this was mentioned, so yeah =). Since I didn’t realize the boyfriend part at first, I was going to say that the pictures –from the sex hair shoot, as I like to call it - in the banner didn’t fit the story, but they very clearly do =).

Very nice story!

This is so kinky & just delicious. I like how you made it seem very real with Brendon & Ryan being apart. Usually, you them shacking up & having everything be perfect. I like it when it's real. That's what made this stick out. I love Ryden blips like this. By blips, I mean little Ryden moments like these. You really know how to frame a time & get the story across simple & quick.

Wow, this is the first Ryden I've read in ages. :O I was really interested when you said you used my piece as a reference, and was incredibly surprised. This was really simple, yet deliciously hot. The writing was wonderful and the porn bits weren't overdone which made it even better since I was able to fill in a bit with my imagination.

All in all, I really enjoyed it and am intensely flattered to have been used as a reference. <3

FIRST STORY I'VE READ ON HERE.

Idk, I thought you might like to know that. But anyways, on topic, Straight off, the story was pretty cute. Though this was pretty short, however, I couldn’t really get a feel for the characters besides Brendon being not-quite studios (yet not a party-goer from what was commented about his roommate, I presume?) and Ryan being the S-M-R-T(I can never miss out on spelling it like that) one. There were hints of the character but through dialogue and movements it wasn’t really described. However short it is, I would have loved for a little more depth in that area from the simple things, you know?

Also, before I continue:
“Ryan closed his eyes and tried to start breathing normal. Goddamn Brendon. He’d always been able to make his voice sound sultry. Ryan wishes he could muster up that sort of tone.”

You stepped out of tense in the last sentence – OR DID YOU? No, seriously, was that intentional to the writing style or…? I don’t think so because it isn’t consistent. MOVING ON.

ANYWHO, there was a lot of telling and not a lot of showing. Like here for instance:

He was lucky enough to not have a roommate and without Brendon he’d have no distractions. But that also meant he would be lonely… Ryan sighed into the empty room and began to pull memories out of boxes and hang them on the wall. No matter how many frames you hang up, you’ll never feel like you aren’t alone.

When classes started he decided it would be best just to push all of his focus on studying, but he couldn’t deny that there was a slight drop in his grades. And even though he didn’t want to admit it he knew that it was because someone wasn’t there to chatter in his ear.

There was seriously a good deal that could be expanded upon there, ESPECIALLY THE LAST LINE OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH. Because I thought that line was awesome. I was like, ‘SQUEE. I LIEKZ DAT,’ on the inside. You did show instead of tell in the third sentence of the first paragraph when referring to photographs as memories and I thought that was ‘awwwwwwwwwwdorable.’ But seriously, I wouldn’t focus on the whole ‘show don’t tell’ because half the time it produces crappy writing, more focus on getting the emotions out in a slick way. Expand and whatnot.

AND I'M DONE. I enjoyed the story~~~so cute.

So I've already read this, but I was too busy making noises to comment. But I really, really loved it, straight from the very first sentence. Your writing style is just lovely, it really is. You tell so much, but in a beautiful way.

I especially loved the lines about breaking them in a different way, and 'You are such a girl, Ry!'. It was so ridiculously them and adorable.

On top of all of that, though, it was mindblowingly hot. Just...guh. *hands* Everything just worked so perfectly.

I loved the layout and banner, too. <3

So I have no idea who these two boys are; and while on the subject, I'm not a huge fan of slash either. This was extremely well-written, though :] The emotions were, ahem, quite prominent, haha! I don't know if that made sense at all, but it's getting late here xD Anyways, this was a very enjoyable read. I don't know why you don't have a million comments on this x]
Lovely job! <3

Aw! This is so cute. I loved it, it's just adorable.
The layout is great and the banner is to die for.
Though I'm not a fan of slash, this was too sweet for me not to love.

cvhxsdisofdwpep BEAUTIFUL.

Melly, this is so great. <3 Like you've no idea.