Confidence - Comments

@ DeficientlyObscure
No worries, I'm just glad you were offended! Some people don't like criticism, even if it constructive. And that's fair enough about being vague with the story, it's coming across how you wanted! Haha. But I am subscribed and I do look forward to seeing what you do with it

@ Damsel Of Darkness
Thanks for the comment, I might take you up on some help with the editing, I think it's the app I use to write, the format doesn't quite copy right, but I kind of have a reason for leaving something's out or being vague the confusion is kind of the feeling I was going for lol but I really love your feed back its good to know that people really read it and see things like that! :3

I honestly am not sure how I feel about this story.

I like the plot, I like that she didn't see Zacky and they instantly fell in love or even became best friends.... they're just acquaintances that seemingly have crushes on one another. And I like that, because it's different to most stories I've read.

There's also something about your writing that really intrigues me. Every now and then throughout the chapters, you'll describe something or have the character have a profound thought that kind of catches me off guard. For example:

The vastness never seemed to bore me, it intrigued me that something could be so beautiful and yet so vicious. The waves reminded me of people, each one different some stronger that others, some taller, shorter or even wider than others, they pushed into each other, rocked boats and hit rocks.

I thought that was a really amazing metaphor and gave your character a real depth. Beautiful.

Now, the reason why I feel unsure about the story is that it just needs a little work, from an editing stand point. It's lacking in punctuation at times and is a little hard to read because it's not double spaced. There's also parts where it feels you rush over things and we're thrown from one moment to the next without much lead up or anything. I personally have the bad habit of over-writing sometimes (I'm trying really hard to curb it, but it's hard habit to break! haha) where as you seem to have more of a habit of under-writing (I know that doesn't exist, but it's the easiest way to explain it). For example:

He took me home, we hadn’t said a word since he had gotten off stage, I noticed how white his knuckles were as he clutched onto the steering wheel. I saw him watching her as he played, he caught her eye half way into the third song, and she was strung onto another guy. I didn’t know why it was bugging him so much, I just couldn’t figure it out.

Whilst I understand that you've chosen to skip over the rest of the concert and have informed readers of the other girl casually, it had me a bit thrown because I had to pause and think back to the last chapter, wondering if I'd missed something. It kind of seemed out of left field, because she'd been so enthralled by him on stage, now she was just casually explaining how he'd been preoccupied with staring at some other girl. It just can feel a little bit stop and start... rather than it flowing smoothly and letting the story tell itself, in a way.

But as I've already said, you do have a good concept here and there is something about the way you describe things that grabs my interest. I hope I haven't offended you with my critiques, as I'm only trying to help If you need some help or want some more advice.. or even help editing, feel free to inbox me as I'd be all to happy to lend a hand

@ Miscreation
Finally an update for you, I hope you enjoy it!!

@ NightmareOfVengeance
I finally updated sorry for the wait!

@ xMandiblesx
Finally updated! I hope you enjoy it :)

Hey I REALLY liked this. =) I hope you update soon and I like your style of writing.

sorry i've been away, but I love itt!! got a little confizzled, but loved it. pleesh update soon! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Ahh yay, more!
I really liked that chapter. I thought it was really sweet. :3
update soon :D Xo

I really like the last chapter - it gave me the warm fuzzies xD
Can't wait for more! :D Xo

This is really good! I just subscribed, I'm glad i found this xD
Your writing runs really smoothly, you can tell you really put a lot of thought into it. It's a really... comfortable story. I know that makes no sense but it's just really enjoyable to read. I'm absolutely in love with it, more soon? Xo

i want more, please! i love how it's written and BLEH everything about it. i want mooooore xD

I must say that you have a great style. I love it so much. The way you express what you feel, you make the reader realize that you really put all your heart into this. I'm astonished. I am definitely going to subscribe and give this a try because I am pretty sure you are a potential writer.
Now, About the story line; I think that the idea is pretty simple, but the advantage is this kind of Plot allows the writer give a big twist to the story, yeah, it is flexible. And I am sure you will do a great job.
Keep writing and I will keep on reading.
Congrats for an awesome job.

XOXO

KnifeMistress

I like what you have so far. You should keep writing it because I'd like to see where you take the story. Nice job =)