Made Out of Nothing (All That I Am) - Comments

I really love this story. Because of the way that it's written, and because it is so different from anything else that I have read on Mibba. I love that your character is not human, and that he has some defects that you show throughout this story. One of them evidently being that he is constantly questioning himself and his feelings. A machine falling in love is such a creative idea. And I love the way that it is depicted in this story.

The fact that he trails off several times, deep in thought, really emphasizes how unsure and questioning he is of his emotions and his identity. He is just like any human in the way that he doesn't know what to expect from love, or how to love perfectly.

I was expecting this story to be clipped, choppy, and just really bumpy. Because this situation is so hard to depict. But you did such a brilliant job. I love this!

My Favorite Quotes:
"Is this love, or just programming?"
"As I voiced it… It was so utterly ludicrous, so impossible, that I just burst out laughing."
"You cleansed my useless identity… You heard my small, compacted, isolated world, heard all of its whys. And you’d fallen in love with it."
"It ate me like cancer."
"I am the nothing that you saved."

I realy liked this, it was simple, but had a powerful impact of emotion.

Especially the last paragraph, I though it was wonderfully written. This is a magnificent one-shot (:

I liked the backround for this. Like, the thought of a robot falling in love with a person. Kind of reminds me of Data from Star Trek (because I'm geeky like that). However, it didn't feel believable to me. Your robot sounds really really... evolved, and I don't think that it relates to a reader as well.

As I voiced it… It was so utterly ludicrous, so impossible, that I just burst out laughing.

Like that, do robots laugh? I mean, for me I just see robots in a different way so I have to respect your creative mind on this one. This story just seems more human than anything and I don't know if that was your point or not.

However I kind of fell in love with the premise of this story, like I'm already imagining the way that these two people fell in love and all that jazz. And the actual details of the story were sweet.

It will be difficult for me to express why this story spoke to me so much.
So I'm sort of dreading commenting on it... but I think I should.
I've got to get my feelings across.

I think... it was partly because I could just see this being written by a robot-man.
I know that sounds sort of silly, but it did wonders for my connection with the writing.
Everything flowed, and I could see a lot of heart and passion in this in a unique way...
But there was that little tone to it. That tone that made it feel truly real, and not forced fluffy stuff.

That's the best I can do to explain, but please know that this meant a lot to me.
It really spoke to me, and I want to thank you for taking the time to write it.

You did an amazing job. <3

AH, I don't have anything to say that everyone else hasn't said. If you need it, ask someone for help with the layouts. ^^ The "..." broke the flow in places, but I thoroughly enjoyed this. It's good to see you writing something other than war fics. :D

That was a good. Something that I haven't really read before. I agree also with the layout thing. I hate the pre-made layouts on here. And also with the sentences with "..." it would have been better using a comma. I make mistakes on my writing as well. But over all this was a good one-shot I like it :)

This was, I would say, a pretty interesting idea. I only saw one thing that really bugged me. You ending a lot of sentences with .... It took away from the flow of the story. Like Careless Whisper said, replacing the ... with a comma would be better.

Some places in this story felt a little rushed while I was reading it. It seemed like something happened, and then something else happened without any detail in between. (I hope that made sense)

But, this was a good one-shot.

I agree with a lot of the previous comments. Making your own layout would make the story feel more personal. I'm not too fond of any of the pre made story layouts here, so I'm biased. The colors didn't match the tone of the story...

The idea of this story is wonderfully unique. The emotion that your character shows is very real and understandable. You show great promise in your future if you keep working on it...

I would do the following for this story:

There are a bit too many sentences cut off with ".....", which doesn't feel right. If you want the reader to pause, add a comma. Start a new sentence, etc. That would come off better.

One other thing: "So we discussed, and you said you needed time… Haha." The "ha ha" feels a little generic. It would be better if you noted this in a different way. That doesn't read as good dialogue, even if it is just thoughts.

Don't hate me for this review. lol. You are talented and have loads of potential, as I already said. Just keep it up! <3

I liked it, it was simple and excellent. Now not to sound rude, but maybe you should make some of your own layouts? It fits with the stories better if you make them and it looks better too. I also liked your summary. Some of the stories I read in the past don't even have any -.-

Good job!

This was so simple and gorgeous; explaining how he wasn't meant to love and how he didn't understand it.
Their relationship was realistic (well, as realistic as it could be), and I could only imagine how they'd met and why there was a need for the robot in the first place.

I really liked this. Beautiful piece of work, hun.
Five stars.

So I have to agree with seize the day. about the layout. A one-shot as awesome as this one should have its own pretty layout (: Anyways, I've never heard of this band or song before. But you have no idea how much I loved reading this. It seems so natural, how he says he loves her. It made me tear up alot. Gah, you've rendered me speechless. You've done such an amazing job here (: I love it <3

I would have prefered this a lot more if you had made your own layout. I'm fussy about those things. That doesn't really matter, though. XD This was quite an original story, I mean I don't think I've read something like this. The summary was good too. I'm always really bad with summarys. XP But, wonderfuly job on this. <3 Great amount of detail in it too. :)