While, it says 'this account is not active,' I still feel compelled to fulfill my own obligation to comment upon all the entries Kate and I received so, without further a due...
I would have liked to have seen more details throughout the 'flashback' portion as that was where the photo was used, it was also hard to follow the story simply because the narrative point of view shifted a few times varying between first, second, and even dabbling into third (Jannelle and Riley were used interchangeably, I believe).
I believe that the flashback was intended to be the photo incorporation but, I'm not certain. It was certainly a nice concept but it was slightly confusing to understand. However, it was a nice idea to use the photo in that way.
Overall, however, I liked how you tried a different way of incorporating the photograph, but perhaps a little more editing could have been done to really have made the story easier to follow along with. Thank you for your submission though! Best of luck.
December 18th, 2010 at 06:27am
Homepage
›
Stories
›
Pictures Out Last Everything
›
Comments
I would have liked to have seen more details throughout the 'flashback' portion as that was where the photo was used, it was also hard to follow the story simply because the narrative point of view shifted a few times varying between first, second, and even dabbling into third (Jannelle and Riley were used interchangeably, I believe).
I believe that the flashback was intended to be the photo incorporation but, I'm not certain. It was certainly a nice concept but it was slightly confusing to understand. However, it was a nice idea to use the photo in that way.
Overall, however, I liked how you tried a different way of incorporating the photograph, but perhaps a little more editing could have been done to really have made the story easier to follow along with. Thank you for your submission though! Best of luck.