I thought this was very interesting. The style you've written this in was captivating and different. You're known for making something yours and even thought I can't really grasp the no caps concept, I loved it oddly enough.
why'd you still leave? you left me, broke my goddamn tincan heart like it was nothing. it was just close to nothing, but it was all i had. besides my ma, and my car, it was all i had. you were all i had."
My favorite line from this. The two characters reminded me of Didi and Gogo from Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett. I could see your story as a tragic comedy too. I know the two characters in Beckett’s play were both guys, but the personalities you portrayed were good and fit, I believed… and your writing just gave off that southern vibe and atmosphere of something like the Tom Sawyer days and how everything was fun and no one really worried about anything. These characters were fun, witty and nice to read. It was like reading which character had a better sob story also, the arguing was nicely done between them as well. Through the dialogue, I wasn’t lost at all about who was talking, which surprised me a little.
you're still the same. i'm still the same. we still won't work out. even if i don't leave, which i will.
The characters here are very dependent of one another and I liked that you didn't give what type of relationship they had, but from their conversations they had history together, which also brought me to the whole Didi and Gogo aspects of how your characters are just sitting around in an unknown place (to readers) but everything still made sense to them. At the end of Waiting for Godot Didi and Gogo proclaim they are going to leave and do something, but they don't, and they just wait instead.
The ending was sweet here and I loved the guy character he made me laugh a couple of times, and yeah I agree with the girl, he is a bastard.
why'd you still leave? you left me, broke my goddamn tincan heart like it was nothing. it was just close to nothing, but it was all i had. besides my ma, and my car, it was all i had. you were all i had."
My favorite line from this. The two characters reminded me of Didi and Gogo from Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett. I could see your story as a tragic comedy too. I know the two characters in Beckett’s play were both guys, but the personalities you portrayed were good and fit, I believed… and your writing just gave off that southern vibe and atmosphere of something like the Tom Sawyer days and how everything was fun and no one really worried about anything. These characters were fun, witty and nice to read. It was like reading which character had a better sob story also, the arguing was nicely done between them as well. Through the dialogue, I wasn’t lost at all about who was talking, which surprised me a little.
you're still the same. i'm still the same. we still won't work out. even if i don't leave, which i will.
The characters here are very dependent of one another and I liked that you didn't give what type of relationship they had, but from their conversations they had history together, which also brought me to the whole Didi and Gogo aspects of how your characters are just sitting around in an unknown place (to readers) but everything still made sense to them. At the end of Waiting for Godot Didi and Gogo proclaim they are going to leave and do something, but they don't, and they just wait instead.
The ending was sweet here and I loved the guy character he made me laugh a couple of times, and yeah I agree with the girl, he is a bastard.