Summer Skies and Ocean Eyes - Comments

Oh jeez that's long. Sorry for ranting lol

YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

Okay, sorry, but I'm just calling it as I see it. I mean, come on. A story this good? And you post it up on Mibba? This website doesn't do it justice. You should seriously have considered publishing it. Well, maybe it's still not too late, but now you'll have to post all of it up on here. You can't leave me hanging here, woman.

So, let's start over. Hi. I'm Irina. I like a lot of cheese with my sandwiches and blue nail polish.
I shall now contradict myself so try to keep up. You are a complete genius. I don't know how you got the ideas together for this story, but it just FLOWS, and I feel it. Most stories on Mibba have two MAJOR MAJOR problems. They include:
a) Grammar
b) Unrealistic Character Reactions
I'm a stickler when it comes to grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc. But damn, girl. 99.9999998% of your sentences are flawless. Wait, I take that back. 99.9999999999%. Only suggestion, which might be sort of stupid, is that you use the semi colon more. Like sometimes you have two sentences combined by a comma without a conjunction, so it's kind of a run-on. Just put a magical ; and all your problems shall be solved.
Told you I was a stickler.
And I'm not going to lie, since you asked for it. You do have some typos. Like when they're going scuba diving Tommy or maybe someone else says, "We're going to ear." (Or something like that. I think you meant "going to EAT". Sorry about being so vague). Hmm I was kind of confused. But yeah, that's totally understandable. I probably shouldn't even be telling you this because my stories probably have six hundred times more typos. I recommend getting a nearby friend to just read over it, but I personally am shy and don't feel comfortable doing that so you might be in the same situation or something and not have access to that. Eh. If you beg me, because I love this story so much, you can send it to me and I'll work my magic :) Hee hee It would be an honor, but I won't go easy on you ;)

Oh yeah, now to cover point 'b'. Character reactions are soooo important. Basically, that's what determines the characters' personalities. Most stories on Mibba (sorry guys) are totally unrealistic because characters are shallow and have weird and inconsistent emotions. I get this is probably because we're young, we haven't been through a lot in life. I'm sixteen, and I use that as my excuse for whenever I have unrealistic reactions in my stories.
But your characters are perfect BECAUSE they're imperfect and so goddamn realistic. Their personalities remain consistent throughout the story (their logic and feelings, I mean, don't just randomly change according to the scene), and they aren't static - they change, especially that hottie Tommy's. Don't even get me started on the crush I'm sporting after him, girl. My boyfriend's in trouble! Anyways, yeah, I'm so totally glad he's finally opening up to Calico (I FREAKING LOVE HER NAME).
Sorry about the randomness. What was I saying? Oh yeah. This story is amazing. You want me to criticize it? Well, nothing's wrong with it. Just keep doing what you're doing. Even the grammar thing is really stupid because honestly, it's like I was searching for a needle in a haystack.
And I just wanted to let you know that I love you.
There, I said it.
Thank you for bringing Tommy into my world.
*swoon*

Oh ma gaaaaaad. This is amazing. I'm sorry I don't have any constructive criticism or anything... PLEASE continue updating!

This story is reallllly good.
When will you update?
Or is it finished...?

Just finished Chapter 18!! And at exactly 3:00am...kooky...

I love the conversations you make people have, they are so entertaining and make me laugh at random times...my main characters always come out so boring, they almost make me want to give up.

And oh my gosh their first kiss, how exciting! I love how they are still not together. I know that it was only a day since they kissed but still, some people write that they are automatically a couple as soon as they lock lips...then again this was kind of a spontaneous kiss. It just leaves me wondering where they're relationship stands and how they will react to each other from now on.

Oh, and a tiny itsy bitsy mistake I found was "Poot shook head head at me," Sorry if it's annoying of me pointing it out but I thought it sounded funny. I am easily distracted/amused. Can't wait to read more!

Just finished reading Chapter 17! I would have left one comment after catching up on all the chapters but I feel like I owe you one comment for each chapter.

That said, OH HOW I MISSED THIS STORY!! I have not been able to read it because I gave up reading books and my favorite mibba stories for lent(I wanted a challenge)...now I have far too much reading to do, but I had to read your story first!

I am so excited for the next chapters and I am so happy that Calico and Tommy are working it all out!! Everytime I read this story I always want to read more! I don't want it to ever end!!

That is all I can say since I am blinded with happiness now that I can read this story again...and this chapter was super amazing!! Apologies for all the exclamation points...

I sat down yesterday afternoon and read this story and I just finished it and now that I have nothing to do, I'm going to leave you a comment (which may be full of nonsense, but hopefully it'll be understandable). First - Veronica sounds like a... well, for lack of better word, jerk. 'Cos I know I can think of another word, but I'm not sure if it's appropriate to post in a comment.

Anyway, there aren't many things that I don't like. In fact, I don't think there's anything in this story that I don't like. (Hopefully that sentence made sense). I found a (possible?) mistake in the most recent chapter, though:

It was terrifying to think that he could say no, and the beautiful boy I had gotten to know would walk away. I don’t want to give up on this, but I might have to.”

Not sure if the last bit was dialogue or something written in a different tense, which... yeah. This story is addicting and I have really run out of good things to say. So... imagine that I just peltered you with a bunch of positive adjectives. :)

I remember reading this on Quizilla, way back in the day. I absolutely ADORE Calico, and I'm growing fond of all the characters all over again! I love the improvments you've made chapter wise.

It all fits alot better now, and it progresses a whole lot smootly.

It feels alot more real, and less juvinille I guess. I'm loving the long chapters, which I find to be seriously lacking in online fiction.

Keep up the amazing work!
--Ren

I really really love this! it's better than a lot of books I've read, i hope you get it published I'd definitely buy a copy:) it just sounds so perfessional sometimes I forget I'm not reading a book

I don't think you're boringly discriptive in anyway, when you said that it reminded me of Jo from Little Women when she's writing her stories and publishers want her to re-write her stories and chop them up to get rid of the moral value that they held. Long story short I don't think you should chop up the stories that you love. I really am enjoying the story by the way :D I look forward to reading it everytime I see that there is an update on it.

I love SS&OE but sometimes I think it lacks power
Have you ever read a book that has those sentences that really
makes you think? The ones that you over about and question
in your head? SS&OE lacks those and to me they make all books
more memorable.

Here's an example:

"Sometimes trees can look healthy
on the outside, but actually be dying
on the inside. These trees fall unexpectedly
during a storm."

Or

"Secrets. Some secrets are good.
Some are bad.
They aren't always easy to keep
but they're even harder
to tell."

~Nothing by Robin Friedman

Do you catch my drift? Relatable
statements wisely worded that makes
some sort of an impact.

With the thing with Tommy and
his dad going on you should easily
be able to add impacting sentences.

But SS&OE is amazing, don't get me wrong.
I was just saying what could possibly make it better.

You know, make it leave a MAJOR impact
on all of its readers.

I read a bit more, and now I really really love this story. Your style is simple, but that's a good thing. You don't bog down your writing with crazy words that some people like to toss into their stories on here. I noticed a few mistakes here and there, and if you need someone to point them out for you like you've been stating, I'm sure I could look through really quick and see if I remember where they were. Mostly they were words that you swapped the order of the letters in. xD Something I do so much it's not even funny anymore. Anyway, I love your characters and I cannot to wait to see where Tommy and Calico's relationship goes. I'm hoping they have a happy ending! I like cliches, as you can tell.

Good luck with everything! You deserve to have this story published. It's better than a lot of the YA books I've read recently!

I've been thinking about this story lately, I read it a year or so ago, and it's always kind of hung with me. I'm so glad it's here. There's a feeling to it I can't exactly explain, but I love it. It leaves me happy, excited, and in a weird way, I always feel a bit more... relaxed after reading it.

It's absolutely fantastic.

I seriously spent 4 hours today reading this whole story. I. Love. It.
Update soon please! :)

This is a great story.

My only complaint is that you use passive voice a bit too much. Look through your updates and I'm sure you'll quickly understand what I'm saying. I don't mean this to be rude at all. I just know you're revising and passive voice is something you should pay close attention to.

Like adjectives and adverbs, use passive voice in moderation.

Otherwise, I cannot wait to read more.

TROLOLOLOLOL.
Kendall kicked my shin again.
OHMYGAWD<3
made me laugh so hard.
update soon, please?(:

TROLOLOLOLOL.
Kendall kicked my shin again.
OHMYGAWD<3
made me laugh so hard.
update soon, please?(:

Dear Maggie, I love you, but honestly - you are so dumb! :D

I hate it when you think/say something in the lines of: I may be too/boringly descriptive in some places, IT MAKES ME WANT TO STRANGLE YOU!

The average number of words doesn't matter, because average means common, common means boring and your story is NOT BORING AT ALL! It's super-duper amazing. I don't usually comment on other stories every, single chapter, but I do on this one. Because it's cool/real/fluid/beautiful/descriptive/smart/best-thing-ever!

Trust me when I say that there is nothing remotely boring about your story and to me, all the parts you've added seem essential! :D

ACCEPT YOUR AWESOMENESS MAGS! In my opinion, you are the best out there! :D

This is really good, if I were you I would get an account on inkpop, because it's a good site for getting stories published and this is definatly good enough.

PREPARE TO DIE!
AHHHHHHHHH, THAT MADE ME SPIT MY WATER OUT ON MY SCREEN AND LAUGH. TTT.TTT
but it was worth it(;
AHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER<3
THEY KISSED! :D
ohmy<3
ANYWAYS.
updatesoon, please?(: