Boychild & Girlchild. - Comments

  • little motorkitty;

    little motorkitty; (630)

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    I read this quite a while ago and just re-read it and remembered why I liked it. It was so lovely and it flowed so perfectly, it's so insperational, and beautiful and simple. You have serious talent and in this story it shines through. I don't think I could say anything bad about this at all, it's one of the stories that's always stayed in the back of my head and made me think, "I want to write something like this." But I don't think I could ever do that, this is too perfect. You should be seriously proud of this piece, I think it's one of the best on Mibba, no joke.
    October 11th, 2011 at 10:55pm
  • desiher

    desiher (100)

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    I want to leave a wonderful, detailed comment... but I can't think of the words. You've rendered me nearly speechless. This was, is, just too amazing for me to describe; it was fantastic, probably one of the best things I've read in quite a while. The ending made my eyes water, in that happy way that hardly ever happens, especially to me.

    Keep up the good work. I will probably stalk your stories now. <3.
    March 30th, 2011 at 01:10am
  • eviesays.

    eviesays. (100)

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    I just read the whole thing in one go. I really love this. I can't say anything bad about it, really, and I love the characters ad the story and everything. :)

    I also love the ending, where it's just dialog. <3
    January 2nd, 2011 at 03:54am
  • Dr.

    Dr. (150)

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    Read it in like 10 minutes.

    Effing adorable. <3

    Dr.
    November 22nd, 2010 at 02:42am
  • silk tea.

    silk tea. (400)

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    Story Review Thread

    Title
    It's definitely interesting. I've seen some users on here with the username boychild and girlchild. And it's a very...interesting? concept. I'm not really sure what I want to say about it, but I do like it. :)

    Layout
    Normally, I'm all like bleck about the single colored backgrounds, but it seems to fit with this. I also love the image you're using and the font is the perfect size. :)

    Content
    Chapter One
    I believe that 'wildchild' is two words. I love the way this chapter is formatted. I don't really have much to say about the chapter itself, because i said it in the comment above. Very unique, I love the fact that they're both unique in their own ways.

    Chapter Two
    Yeah, I think that in this chapter Wildchild is better as one word seeing as that's like...her title almost--I doubt that that's her name but we shall see in the next chapters. I feel bad for Lizzie. :( It always sucks when you lose your man to someone so much better than you. *sad* I also love the fact that Adam is so speechless, while such a douche move to be so enthralled with this girl when his lady is right there...well, fail.

    Chapter Three
    I love how any word with child in it you make one word, that's really interesting. "girlchild" "boychild" "wildchild" "littlechild" I'm curious if it'll be like that for every chapter. I love how you manage to make something as simple as a little girl with a loose tooth interesting. I didn't want to skim through the chapter and get ot the next one faster...well, I did because I'm curious as to what is going to happen--but I still enjoyed it. If that makes sense?

    Chapter Four
    I love the mention of horror movies. Something that always thinks of. "YOU IDIOT DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!" Have you ever heard those most interesting man in the world commercials? "If he were to shout at the screen, she would never open that door."

    ANYWAY. I'm confused on this.

    (He was.) do you mean she was? or....I don't what's that supposed to mean?

    Oh whoah, I'm a fail. For some reason I totally though that she was at work and some dude was trying to pick her up. Nope, that was Adam at a party.

    Chapter Five
    Oooh, who asked her to come? I love how like short and hectic these chapters are. Music throbbed like her heartbeat. I really love that line. I almost feel like she's panicking? Or something along those lines. Just the way her heart is beating and she's sweating. Wonder why she's so nervous?

    Chapter Six
    I love that she has nervous habits. Folding things, I do that as well when I'm nervous. 'fleshthings' should be two words. Wow, Olive liked those people? That's...odd. You probably spelt it the way you did on purpose but the way I know it's spelled is Bourbon. Not going to lie, if some random dude kissed the top of my head I would run away. That's not only creepy...but really creepy.

    Chapter Seven
    on an fairly friendly basis. should be a friendly basis.

    Okay, so, I have to stop here, but I'm going to come back and review the rest because I just got screamed at to go help my dad with something--so I'm going to submit this now so that I don't pass the two hour mark. BUT I SHALL COME BACK.

    ----

    Overall
    What I've read so far I really enjoy. I feel like there's not much to say considering it seems to well thought out. Though it's really short, there's not much I feel the need to branch out on. You cover all that you need to without making it seem confusing or just...like you're rushing through it. You know? It's all very fascinating and if I'm not already subscribed I'm going to do so now. :)
    November 14th, 2010 at 10:57pm
  • jesus christ.

    jesus christ. (105)

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    okay, so i really hadn't planned on reading all 31 chapters of this because it's a bit of a high number and i've got an english paper to write before tomorrow, but i ended up reading them all within twenty minutes.
    this story is so fucking adorable, it's ridiculous.
    my favorites were definitely chapters 9 and 18. nine because well, i adore the way you wrote the deed without it being dirty at all. adam knowing olive's body makes me grin. <3
    olive's character is incredible. all the detail without detail is incredible. adam seems like the douche turned sweetheart in a large number of romantic comedies, but that's not a bad thing. this entire story is so ridiculously cute, it's unbelievable.
    i love this all. you're such a great writer. <3 <3 <3
    November 8th, 2010 at 03:40am
  • alexander bernadotte

    alexander bernadotte (125)

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    Okay, so everyone else basically said everything that I wanted to. This was so eloquent and beautiful. The writing style is neat and gorgeous and everything about it is just...wow. I love Adam, I really do. He's such a cool character; he's like none that I've ever seen before. I'm loving how this Wildchild - or Lizzie - is sort of in love with him, haha! I also love how the chapters are short, but they say alot, y'know? You don't see very many authors here on Mibba doing that and succeeding. I'm definitely excited to see more of this (: Brilliant job!
    This is a beautiful story. I'm honestly shocked that it doesn't have close to a million comments like it should. I'm subbing <3
    November 8th, 2010 at 01:14am
  • Steffi Jelly

    Steffi Jelly (100)

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    This was just . . . capturing, from the very first chapter. Your writing style's just so neat and you really know how to paint a picture :3 I love the characters. I love Adam. I just LOVE reading this story . . . and I don't love reading many stories. Even though the chapters are short they still manage to move the story along at a really nice pace. I love the metaphors and similies you use too; 'And just as saltwater slips from the oyster as it's lifted above water' Basically, I just love it. Subscribing!
    November 7th, 2010 at 09:22pm
  • silk tea.

    silk tea. (400)

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    I've only gotten to the first three chapters, and believe you me I shall be subscribing to this. I sincerely adore the title. It's so unique, not something I've seen before. I also love the idea of this. How it's the girl who's different instead of the boy, but I also like the fact that he's not one of those shy guys who never get any girl and this Wildchild would have an affection for him. I like the difference in that. I also adore the way you write it. I'm not bored with it and I'm yearning to see more. :)
    November 7th, 2010 at 08:29pm
  • nearly headless.

    nearly headless. (100)

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    This is amazing.
    I'm going to go subscribe now.
    I am absolutely in love with your writing style.
    Is that weird?
    October 24th, 2010 at 07:15am
  • Alvarittsixx

    Alvarittsixx (100)

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    I like how Olive is referred to as Wildchild up until a certain point and how she calls him Boychild. ^-^
    This is too damn adorable, seriously.
    But, chapter 12&13 had me a tad bit worried. I'm surprised she didn't want to stay by Adam's. :/
    But that's alright. </3
    This is written in a very interesting way. It doesn't dwell to much on the details- it's right to the point. It's brash and bold, but soft and sweet. I'm in love with this story. <3
    October 15th, 2010 at 07:18pm
  • austinsierra.

    austinsierra. (100)

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    6th suscriber
    =]
    this is different
    i like it
    i like the short chapters
    i like the pov switch
    i like it all
    =]
    October 13th, 2010 at 03:00am
  • thirteenftw

    thirteenftw (100)

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    How interesting. I really like this. It just catches the eye. :)
    October 11th, 2010 at 05:24am
  • WhoAmIReally?

    WhoAmIReally? (100)

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    This is good. I can't wait to read more Smiley
    October 11th, 2010 at 01:21am
  • precursors

    precursors (105)

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    The most recent chapter was adorable :) I love little kids sometimes

    This seems very interesting. I like how the chapters are short; it's just... I don't know, but I like it :)

    I'm looking forward to see the rest of this
    October 3rd, 2010 at 05:48am