Nice. I liked it.
November 5th, 2010 at 06:59am
First off, layout and summary; personally for summaries, I’ve never liked excerpts, I have no idea why. That’s just my thing so we’ll just skip on over that. I loved the layout – It had the just the right balances of being ‘cozy’ while also being a little ‘creepy’ at the same time. I really liked the feel it gave off. The title, as well, was awesome to me. I had a lot of ideas. A lot of them involving fire… And tornadoes for some reason. But really, I like the title. Hell is a variant place; I was interested in what you’d make of it in a hotel room.
On to the story itself; I loved the opener. It sets you right up and you’re drawn in already. The only thing that bothered me was the name of the hotel. I don’t know, I think it was way too… ‘Give away.’ I already know it’s a horror but I would have liked it better if it had a more normal name for a hotel. Rarely are hotels actually named after anything but a family name anyway. It would have seemed creepier to me since it was normal.
Oh but before I continue on right here:
“C’mon, it’s only gonna get colder out here. It’s just for a few hours, and we’ll be on hour way.”
Be careful with those. I do the same thing sometimes; when I type to fast I type the wrong word. You have no idea how much here/hear get mixed up because I don’t’ think. MOVING ON~!
I think you should work a bit more on showing me; ESPECIALLY SINCE IT’S HORROR, THE BEST GENRE EVER. Cough. I had to get that in, anyways, in the beginning you’re telling me Anisa is s cared, just straight off. What does she do when she’s scared? Does she clutch onto her husband, does she start walking slower, or hell she could say something about her doubts about the motel again. That’s the best part of horror stories; you can feel the fear of the characters, you can feel the chills up your spine.
I think in the beginning it should have gone a little slower; by that I mean just a little more description. I was kind of interested in the general hotel. I would have liked more of a build-up especially with the end; the end was really fast paced and surprisingly. Like how a rollercoaster starts off all ‘this ain’t nothing’ and then when you get to the drop you’re all like ‘omg omg omg omg.’ That was the end, right there.
But in a nutshell, I liked it a lot with a few gripes here and there. c: I think there should have been a little more elaboration is all. The ending was just… wow, though. Unexpected and brilliant.
