Hi :) I liked the story but it was hard to follow at some points and it seemed to switch from tense to tense. It was good but seemed really fast like everything happened really fast. Maybe spread it out between more chapters next time. (oh and umm i think you left some little words like [a, the, etc.] out but I could still understand it :) )
three: Awesome way to introduce the guys. loved jack's introducation and what he called rian. Wondering what's going to happen in the next chapter? Can't wait to read it.
two: Another great chapter with great descriptions. Love the story pic and how long this chapter was. Wondering what's going to happen next? Can't wait to read and find out.