Special K. - Comments

wow this is awesome.
you have an expansive vocabulary and are great at detail.
the prologue drew me in immediately.
you've put so much into these first few chapters that i'm really curious as to where this story will go. you've set some high standards, but i think you are very capable of pulling out an incredible story.

awesome job. (}:

Okay, so first off, I only read the latest update. And I can see that the story, characters, and possibly the author arre british? Anyway, I like your pace. It flowed from one spot to the next nicely. You have a goood vocabulary, so that's a good bonus. :) You made a few, minor mistakes that I will correct below in bold:

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“Where at? Your snoring didn’t wake me? up this morning… makes a change.”

“I ended up at Luke’s… I, uh, may have drunk dialled him and then went around to his place, house, apartment?.” I could hear her voice wince as she told me this, “Fancy meeting me in the café by the post office? I’m gonna go before he wakes up so maybe he’ll forget this happened again.”

“Sure, I’ll head that way now. Been put off drinking yet?”

“Not at all.” She said laughing before hanging up. I decided to walk to the café instead of taking the bus as it was renowned for being ridiculously late, and the I could use the fresh air. It was about a ten minute walk away, nothing to strenuous and the air wasn’t too chilly for April weather. When I got to the café, Chelsea was outside waiting - her clothes were crumpled and her hair? hadn’t been brushed but I could see she managed to salvage some(there should be a space here)time to wash? her make-up off her face.

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Other than that, great job! :)

I love, love, love the prologue. It has a nice easy flow to it with the switch of short and long sentences. Also the description was really good. I really like your writing style.

As for the characters I think they're awesome and realistic. I like how Kendall isn't drinking much but she'll smoke a little. And Jack, well all I can say is I like Jack a lot. I really want to see more of him. And again, your amazing detail adds to the emotions and feelings of Kendall which makes reading this even more enjoyable.

Oh & I love the layout!

Sorry again for being delayed a bit.

Chapter Three (Without Prologue) =)

So I'm a bit surpised this doesn't have more comments even though you're already on the second page of them. I realized that I have read this story before but that last time I commented alread you had posted was the prologue. I never subscribed though but I will now. I like what I'm reading. Did Chelsea go home with Kendall and then leave sometime during the night for Luke's? Or is Kendall just use to her staying over after parties? By the way I like the name Kendall for a female; it's different. Then again I don't know any female's with the name so it might not be as unusual as I think. I'm getting the feeling that later in the story Chelsea will probably end up living with someone else because her parents will kick her out. Also that her partying will get more excessive and possibly hinder her friendship with Kendall. Kendall doesn't seem to be that big of a party goer but the possibilities still remain. The detail in this chapter as well as the ones before it is great. I curious about what situations Chelsea and Kendall will find themselves in next. There was one sentence that confused me and I'll copy it below. I wasn't sure if maybe you had forgotten a word or if you meant to type that way.

“Where at? Your snoring didn’t wake up this morning… makes a change.”

Comment Swap
I was actually already subbed to this story, but I haven't commented on it or read the most recent chapter, so here we go…

One thing not about chapter three: I absolutely adore the way you've written the prologue. It sounds really really good. And the last line, just–wow.

I noticed your tenses flipping a bit in this chapter: this "I do not envy the person who’s responsible for cleaning the kitchen, that’s all I can say." should be in past tense. Also, "rein" at the end of the chapter should be rain.

This story is good; I like it, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't have subscribed. The style is nice and realistic, a little distant for first person, but now really bad in any way. There was some really great imagery and description, as well.

The only thing I really have a problem with in this is the word choice. Some of the words you're using just sound odd, out of place, way too thesaurus-y for a teenager to be using in her inner thoughts. There's a few cases in this chapter, but a really good example I can think of is in the last few paragraphs of Chapter Two, describing Johnny passing the joint to her. You're throwing all of this drug slang all over, when honestly I think the word "it" would just sound better in a few places. In addition to that, I remember the word "orifice" being used, as well as a few other gems. And it just sounds… weird. Do you get what I'm saying? I understand wanting to use lots of vocabulary, but I think in a story like this simpler words, and probably a lot more swearing, is needed.

All criticism aside, though, I do like the story, and I am going to continue reading. It's just something to think about.

I really liked the layout, the banners, colours, font and everything just go perfectly together. I really like the banner, especially, it really highlights the fact that Kendall is experimenting with not-so-good stuff and is exploring things out of the square.

I like the mixture of short and long sentences you used in the first chapter, it is effective and really does have a nice start to the story. I agree with the narrator's opinion on alcohol, I've seen so many people get wasted and do incredibly stupid things, it's pointless. I also like the second chapter, it highlights teenage drinking, smoking and drug use. It's not a pretty thing to talk about, but it really does happen with so many teenagers and it's just sad that a lot of people live this lifestyle, honestly.

This story was really good, you have a great writing style and you also have a great way with words, well done (:

I like this story, I was into drugs hardcore for a time. Nothing really hard though... :]

His words were like magic, and the slumped puppets circling me suddenly came to life and uncurled from their sitting positions quicker than I could comprehend.

That was... amazing. Your imagery blew me away. The only thing I noticed was that " a feeling of grimace" was a bit off. A grimace is a facial expression, not a feeling. Also, I think it may be 'rain check' as opposed to 'rein check', but I'm not positive. You're REALLY talented. The layout blew me away as well, and your imagery was freaking EXCEPTIONAL.

I really loved the prologue, even though it had me thinking it was going to be all about a crazy hard partiers. But it isn't, and I love that.
I like how Chelsea is drunk as fuck, and Kendall is barely even drinking at all.
I like the way she doesn't deny the weed. But it makes me think that Jack is a regular stoner.
In the second chapter, I like the way you described how she felt while she was high. Made me actually kinda of feel like I was, too.
It even made me hungry so I had to go and get some corndogs with ranch+mustard sauce. aha.
I like how you write, a lot.
The way you describe things, and your choice of words amuse me, a lot.
Your 'communal cereal' made me actually want to go and put different types of cereal into a bowl and eat it, without the soggyness, of course.

“Rein check on that cereal. You don‘t get out of it that easily.”
I like how you make it known that Jack is coming back.
I would totally love to see more of him and what his part in the story is going to be.

I loved this, to say the least.
Keep updating.
<3

Hmmm, this is definitely interesting to say the least :) The prologue grabbed my attention without a doubt, but for me, it got a bit flat. You jump right into the story. You take us to a place of the party. I understand what your story is about, but I think I would have liked to get to know the 2 friends first. You don't introduce them. I can't get a clear image of what these two actually look like, or any of the characters you introduced for that matter.

You introduce amazing imagry for everything else, and I absolutely LOVE that :) It makes for a great read, but I wish you would have talked about your characters a bit more. Develop them more so we as readers can get a better understanding of how these two came to be or just how they look so we can get that mental image in our heads. Who knows, maybe you were planning on doing so later rather than sooner :)

Just my thoughts, but I will say that I have enjoyed reading this so far, so keep up the good work :)

I love your writing style.
You're so vivid in the descriptions, which is great!
This is definitely very interesting.
I can't wait to see you continue <3

This is great.
It definitely grabbed me from the prologue, and I loved how you used the short little sentences to describe the actions.
Your writing style is beautiful because it puts such a strong image into your head and flows quite well. :)
I think my favourite line was My first bite into a chocolate digestive caused my senses to tingle as if I had been on a 40 day fast and I could have sworn my stomach did a little flip in excitement as I swallowed. because I don't think anyone would think to describe the taste of something with so much detail- it was awesome.

Overall, this really wasn't what I expected, reading the summary, but so far and excellent job. :D
*subscribes*

This story really surprised me, to be honest. When I read the summary I immediately assumed that it would be a poorly written story about how fun it is to party, but I was wrong. This story is realistic and every part of it is enjoyable; from the characters to the plotline to all of your wording. I agree with silk tea., I like how Kendell isn't a mad partier but she isn't afraid to have fun either. Chelsea is kinda amusing, but I think that if the story was about her it wouldn't be as good.

It's written really well. Every now and then I would find a typo, but other than that it's pretty flawless and really easy to read. I'm really interested about Kendell and finding out how deep her persona goes, but I have a really bad feeling about Jack. I like the way you barely introduced him but you made it known enough that he was going to come back.

Your chapters are short and sweet, which I think are the best kind. Overall this story was incredibly surprising and very entertaining. XD

I read this an insane long time ago and I was actually wondering when you were going to update it. xD I'm elated that you updated! Anyways, I like the character of Chelsea for some odd reason. She's funny and silly and loud and possibly the greatest depiction of a drunk high school/college student; however I do not like her behavior toward Kendall, making her drink when she doesn't want to. That's the absolutely worst :| And I liked Jack up until the whole smoking routine. I'd like to see if he develops more into a complete druggie or not. Anyways, onto chapter 2. Ah, typical waking-up-the-next-morning-drunk-as-fuck scene. I still like Chelsea and I like that Kendall is still somewhat sober in all of this craziness. I honestly never read stories like this, since I'm not a party girl/animal at all - some of my peers call it pathetic, but whatevs - but this was is surely entertaining. I'll await the next update patiently! <3

This sounds interesting. I'll definitely be subscribing.
I like how you matched the guy's hair streaks with the freshly lit joint, and that I only noticed one typo throughout the entire story. (You forgot the s in, "I took the spliff from between his finger.")

I think my favorite lines are:
we made the kitchen our recluse point, we were only interrupted when there were no full cans left in the rest of the house.
I yelled staring down at my top as the liquid seeped into the cells of the material for a permanent residence. (oh, hey, you also forgot a comma between 'yelled' and 'staring'.)
Everyone I knew was fixated with destroying their liver, and leaving a foul taste in their breath the morning after.
As the nights went on, and the glasses became half empty my claustrophobic mind became numb.

And as if by magic, my escape found me.

Though, they aren't necessarily in that order.

I really like that Kendall isn't an innocent girl. I like that while she doesn't drink alcohol much she doesn't outright deny weed. I'm that annoying goody two shoes and reading about them annoys me. I really enjoy the way you were able to make smoke seem beautiful and almost magical. I'm also very interesting in this Jack fellow and seeing what role he ends up playing in this piece. :0

The taste was much stronger than I’d ever experienced, and I could feel the flavour sinking into every pour within the orifice. I breathed out the smoke through pursed lips, watching it fly past my face with enthralment. I think it should be pore within the orifice and enthrallment has two 'l's'.

I must say I love it so far. Your imagery with the smoke was descriptive, and your writing style is beautiful.
I like that it doesn't seem to be one of those ignorantly written pieces like others 'marijuana is addicting and harmful'. Alcohol is so much more damaging than a joint. Marijuana doesn't seem to be a drug to me, as it grows on the earth. You seem to know the distinction between the flat out propaganda and the truth, and I like it :)

Every experience is something different; you can go between the lines and cross every boundary.

I liked that line a lot because it's so true. I'm sure we all know people like her that are out there and it's happening to people younger and younger. I've been to high school and I've seen it...I’m in college now and I know some people who can't give up that type of life style. It’s sad, but as you said every experience is different, it’s just up to people if they want to continue it or not. I like what you have here, it's mind altering excuse the really bad pun lol but I like how you set the steps of drinking and smoking up within the story that was creative.

I enjoyed this. I'm always really interested in stories about drugs and so many times people go and write without fully understanding what they are talking about, but you seem to have a fair amount of knowledge (at least enough to properly execute something like this) and you write it all very well.

I personally enjoy the writing style you used and you have a way with words.

This has the potential to be something great, I know it.

I can relate to this. I like your narrative style as well, but at one point you switch tenses.