Chasing History - Comments

Quite confusing, but not in a bad way.
It's one of those one's that made me really think.
I'd love to see what you could do if you continued on with this.
You did a wonderful job.
I really enjoyed reading this :)

First of all, I would like to apologize for not responding much earlier.
Title The title definitely pulls the reader in, who doesn't like something that will make you think twice?
Layout and Summary I love the greyscale photograph with the grey background, as one may have noticed on my own story layout. Your summary was outstading, my eyes really perked up in a sense, when I read the first sentence. It really isn't a story that I've seen done on the site already and I really enjoyed that.
Story Your choice of words is fantastic, you don't have so much detail that distracts the reader. I applaud you for this. My favorite sentence in the peice was most definitely, "It was practically his family, and now everyone in it had long since gone, the building remained, always there, always watching over him with empty eyes."
I'm a sucker for personification. The only part that really pestered my mind was when he said"OK" ,rather than spelling the word out, but that's just me.
I now need to read the rest of your works.

Oh dude, like...I want more. Please. I feel like I should have this huge massive ass thing to say, but I don't. Because I'm kind of hiding under my bed right now because this was creepy as balls. So be glad you scared me. Butthead.

Is this a one-shot, or a full length story?

If it's a one-shot, it's totally perfect, though I would have liked to read more. You set everything up perfectly. You didn't just say out-right what he was or what he could do, but you eased me into it and that was great. It wasn't an all of a sudden thing, it was something you built up to.

I liked how, without a ton of explanation, I got the basic idea of what was going on. That was really great. You're very talented.

If this is a chartered story, I would suggest splitting this up into two chapters so's not to give everything away right in the beginning.

Though, I get the feeling that I'm being silly and this is a one-shot.

Great job!

This is SUCH a great idea for a story, and you pulled it off so well!

The reality shifts weren't confusing to me at all and I understood what was going on, so FYI - you're definitely capable of writing successful "mess with your mind" stories :)

I can also totally understand where both Evan and his mother are coming from. On the one hand, for Evan to raise his younger self would be really weird, but on the other hand, having him grow up in a psych hospital isn't exactly the textbook definition of "normal." It's a great conundrum (love that word) that you put together really well.

Even though it was a horror story it was also quite sad. I can't really explain why, but I just felt bad for older Evan at the end. Makes me wonder if he's going to explain everything one day or just keep it a secret.

He allowed himself to fall to the very borders of sleep, so his eyes were free from flickering, his breathing was deep and slow, and finally he began to sense the changes around him.
For some reason this reminded me of lucid dreaming, which I've never been able to do but I have a friend who can do it basically on command. /random ramble

I really like this story :D Amazing job, and good luck in the contest!

That's pretty darn awesome.

It has a weird way of traveling throughout the chapter, I'd check that out.

Other then that I like the idea and the planning that would have gone into this. <3
Adoration.

Holy crap. That was AWESOME! With something like this, i can't wait to see what you come up with for my contest! :D

The summary immediately attracted my attention, like BAM. It reminded me of Chuck Palahniuk, in a way and I adore him. The paragraph where you described the room was amazing; I'm a sucker for well done description. And you pulled the reality shifts off very well; I actually wasn't confused at all. It reminded me of a mix of Stephen King, with aspects of The Time Traveler's Wife thrown into a blender. I love stories that are intended to make you think twice and this certainly did that. Well done. <3

the was GREAT!!!! Oh I loved this!!!!

This was freaking awesome! I always loved reading stories like this when I was little bu I suddenly stopped. But now I'm going to read them again.

this kind of reminded me of that one episode of Futurama were Fry does the deed with his grandma XD

Anyways, uttrely loved this and I hope you win.

Lol, this was really confusing. You were right.
yet I loved it. xD
It was really descriptive and there weren't any mistakes.
But... I just couldn't understand it at this time of morning xD

O_o

. . . Give me a minute while I put my brain back together in order to articulate a response to this story.

So. . . He can switch between times, or dimensions, or. . . something, and he's taking care of himself. . . But he grew up in the hospital. . . So. . . Ouch. My brain.

I don't understand what just happened, but I know that I liked it, and I trust that you know why everything happened the way it did. Whether or not I understand it now, only minutes after reading it for the first time, is unimportant. All I know is that it was really, very good. :D