You Win - Comments

Omg, I was looking through the stories that I recommended and came across this one. Boy do I miss the heck out of this story. Please update soon? <3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*'grabbing both of my shoulders'
I can't even get my own comment right. I meant to highlight 'of' there, not 'both'. XD

Yay! Great updates, Marianna! How are you, girl? I miss talking to you on a semi-daily basis. :(
Sorry I wasn't able to comment sooner on chapter 39. Geeze... I hardly got on here at all this summer, and I definitely missed a lot. :/ But now, here's for the two chapters, in one comment. :)
Hm... you had Luke on the character's page this whole time, but it wasn't until it was mentioned again in the new updates that I really took into thought that his last name is Hawthorne. I love that last name for some reason. lol. Figured I'd point that out since I never have before. XD
And I have a few other things to point out, to either note or correct:
'She shook her head. “It’s not stupid. What’s stupid is feeling like that and not doing anything about it. That is stupid. Just letting him go because you’re afraid? That’s stupid. That’s really stupid, Caroline. When you find something like that, you don’t let it go.”'
Tulip is so insightful when she says this in chapter 39. I would go more into detail with it, but what I was going to explain after I read this, you made happen in chapter 40. XD I'll explain more when I point out that one part. But, very true words. :)
'Until I stopped abruptly because of course, there was Andy, at the stop of the stairs on his way down.'
I'm thinking 'stop' was meant to be 'top', no? Or it may just be a phrasing of words I haven't heard before. XD
'"But that just the truth of it, and I really can’t change it no matter what I do.”
I'm glad Caroline finally told Andy the truth. I wanted to mention that, but also with this line^, 'that' I'm thinking should become 'that's', or well... 'that's' would sound better there, I think.
'“Uh… I forgot is name. But I think he was at your bonfire?”'
*'is' should be 'his', I'm thinking. You just missed the 'h'.
'Nothing bad had happened to Tulip, so I why was I being such a baby about it?'
Um... oh, right! I almost missed it myself while I was looking back over this. XD There's an extra 'I' before 'why' that shouldn't be there.
'The feet were in gray Vans with black laces and there was small doodle of a fish on the left toe because I had drawn it there last summer.'
Aw... I thought this part was cute. lol. About the fish being on Luke's shoe. XD Idk why, but this line really stood out to me. Aside from it being cute, lol, I think it was because you really put some effort into using detail, which not a lot of authors do. This definitely wasn't your first time with doing so by any means, but this instance just stood out to me.
'“Hey, maybe we can sneak into the school kitchen and make some cookies,” he offered, grabbing both my shoulders and turning me so I was facing him directly.'
Um... this one I wasn't sure about. I was going to say it might sound better if you put an 'of' between 'grabbing' and 'both'. So it would be like 'grabbing both of my shoulders'. But like, if you read it really fast, it's not that big of a deal. I'm thinking I've also seen people do that before, so this one's just more of one to ponder, I guess.
'“You’re obviously not fine, Caroline. Don’t try to put on a brave face for me. It’s okay.”'
:') So sweet. But there he is, being all confusing again. But so sweet. XD I liked how he was showing that he was still there for her, and that he realized that she was genuinely upset.
'“It’s not okay. Don’t say that. You don’t know anything. Anything! Don’t try to make me feel better with empty, meaningless words, because it only makes me feel worse. What are you doing, Luke? What are we doing? What’s going on? Because I sure as hell don’t know anymore.”'
And... this was the moment I was talking about before, way up in the beginning of the comment, that side-tracked me from going into full explanation with what Tulip said. Because YAY! Caroline finally told Luke what's been on her mind all of this time, and that's all she can do for now. Now it's time for him to take action. She did her part, now he needs to think about what she said and figure out how to approach her again.
He should've went after her. :'(
But I'm glad she at least got what she needed to say out of her head. Because everything was just overwhelming her and she needed to tackle something and get it out of the way.
I really hope what that Alice girl was saying wasn't true. Luke can't be interested in someone else! :(
I have come to the realization that in order to finish this story I have to channel a past version of me when I wasn't quite so cynical and hopeless.
That's the first time I've ever heard an explanation like that. But that's probably the most insightful one I've ever heard. And one that's the most giving. I mean, any other person would've just given up, I've seen it so many times where people have just grown out of writing for their story or stories... myself being one of those people, I'll admit. But you're tackling this story and focusing strong on getting it done and to the end, which I definitely admire you for. That's what makes a true writer or author, definitely. There are parts that you just have to muddle through, and if you don't or just give up, your story won't make it to the end. It's better to just face it, but that's easier said than done in most cases, I suppose.
OMG one of the longest comments I've ever left. So sorry, lol, especially if you've made it here, because that means you've read all of it. XD And so sorry if I'm like such a spell-checking snob... lol. I feel like I pointed out a lot. :/
I loved both of the updates, though, and can't wait for more! :D Can't wait to see what you have happen next!
And ahhh.... the end is near. I can't believe that it'll be coming to a close soon. :( You'll definitely hear from me at the end of it, don't you worry! :P
But for now, I wish you luck and inspiration for the rest of the story. :D I'll be here to read! :D

I absolutely love this story. Every single part has so much meaning and feelings that it feels real. It could really happen, and I love that. I can put myself in the situation and feel how she's feeling. I just... I can't explain this further. I'm at a loss for words. <3

that last chapter was really good, you're very talented c:

THANKS SO MUCH FOR UPDATING I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS STORY. totally in love with Luke no matta wat;) i agree with all the other commenters too wish i cud like them all AAND def agree with displaced you should TOTALLY be published. like, for realzz

Yay! You updated!! Amazing chapter and I can't wait for more! And ohmygod I wonder what's going to happen!

You should be published, seriously. you're such a talented writer (:

UGH GIRL HUG HIM OR SOMETHING STOP RUNNING AWAY HE IS FINALLY TALKING TO YOU WHAT A DUMB GIRL

i love this chapter. it channels really well with how i feel at the moment and i can completely understand what she's going through.

um... Omg.
I'm having a Luke attack right now.
where the heck is he in this story anymore? :/
... This is killing me </3 But, anyways, i love this story :)

I'm now not sure how this is going to pan out...

An update!!!!
Whenever someone gets in the way of my favorite couple, I get all annoyed, ha. >.<
I really hope Luke realizes that Caroline is the one for him. Not Megan!!!
Update again as soon as you can. c: I love this so much.

Dude.. You actually updated? Sorry.. Felt like I had to say it xD so she's finally clearing her life up? That's good. I think she needs the clarity. Maybe it will be enough to save her from her self. Idk. But I can't wait to find out. Good chapter.

OH MY GOD WHAT WHY
CAROLINE, Y U PUSH LUKE AWAY?
MEGAN'S JUST A HO
DON'T PUSH LUKE AWAY
COME ON
ugh I would so take that opportunity to go to the school's kitchen and bake cookies with Luke.
UGH Caroline.
but I do understand where she's coming from.
but I don't think she's just crying about the C, I think everything's finally catching up to her now.
just my input, haha.
PLEASE UPDATE SOON, PERFECTLY ROASTED MARSHMALLOW.

I am in some serious Luke withdrawal, lady. All I have to say is I hope that's fixed soon, kAY?

Um. Did you read the first few paragraphs?
Not up to par my ass.

Ahhhhhh! I'm so glad I've found this story. I really like Caroline as a character and I love Maggie as well. Its all really relatable and realistic!
Ughhgghgg just update soon, please? :)

I was going to wait til I'd finished reading all of the chapters to comment, but I just can't wait any longer to tell you what a great story this is. But I bet you already know that, considering you have over 400 comments. Geez Louise.
You have such a talent for a writing, I can't even explain. Your writing doesn't even have that many details in it, but there's something about it that just grabs your attention. You are a fantastic story teller, filled with ideas that keep the readers wanting more. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story. (: