Speak Now - Comments

that was so sweet! :) I'm a bit of a Tylor fan these days. so really loving you right now. :D

Loved it! I'm a bit ambivalent on Lenne, but Nagore was just done to perfection. The epitome of a spoilt daddy's little girl in my opinion. Xabi's confusion was so cute! Glad everything worked out in the end. :)

P.S. Terminally Chill's right, she gives good pointers!

This was good! I've never read a Xabi fic before, so this was nice. I'm not really sure how I feel about Lenne, I don't really know if I like her or not, but I do feel bad for her. Xabi does not deserve a spoiled, bratty girl like Nagore! I liked her characterization though, and she had some comical points, though she was mean.

There were just a few things I wanted to point out:

Nagore mouth hanged open and said,... <-- I think it should be "hung" instead of hanged.

"Are you stupid? First you lost my first tiara and NOW you bought me the wrong one?!" <-- The double "First"'s kind of made it flow awkwardly. I don't know if it's just me though. So maybe change the second "first" to "original"?

Other than that, good job! This was enojoyable, and didn't bore me at all. It wasn't cheesy darling!