Many a Moon - Comments

Hm, this seems pretty interesing so far. I only read the first chapter, cuz that's all I had time for, but it was very interesing. I like the plot idea & you wrote it really well.

I love the relationship Ashley seems to have with her sister - I know it wasn't a pivotal point in the last chapter but the way she thought about Eliza as she fell unconscious was touching.

“Trolls? You came all the way from wherever it is you’re from, to hunt trolls? Classic.”
The sarcasm made me giggle. I don't know why, but it did, haha.

The way you ended the chapter, with that bit about Tristan wanting to speak to her, is brilliant. Now I definitely want more! I'm so curious what they're gonna talk about...hmm... :)

Keep up the awesome work! <3

Oh my god, I have to reread this again, but this was great, it was short, but it was
really interesting. It gives more insight to her character, which I think, is missing
these days in stories on here. I find Johnny attractive :) I don't know, maybe
it's just the long hair thing, too, because I find myself into long haired guys these
days. I don't know what started it! Anyway, I'm off to re-read earlier chapters :)

So let me just say that -- even if drugged -- I would not be able to stand being stuck inside a cramped room and you just show the amount of maturity that your character has. I also get that whole Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibe from this which is cool, I can imagine Buffy's face if she were in this situation. I think it's cool that she doesn't automatically heal and that she has to drink blood in order to heal. I also like that she hasn't just busted out of there or tried to hurt the Lycan just yet. I mean, of course a normal person would want answers, I really love this story and the pace it is going at.

This is a cool story. I think the banners and layout makes it a cherry on top. -.- I like your ideas.... (: Awesome job.

I remember reading the first version of this, but I must admit that I like the edited version better, probably because you turned up the kickass on this one XD

Once again, I love how you started off this story with an action scene.I felt like I was immediately thrown into the universe of this story, and I loved it. The scene that you started the story off with was breathtaking, and for some reason, it reminded me of Spiderman. I also loved the repetition of her being cursed with this life, but she feels like it's her duty to protect the humans from her world.

I think the thing that struck me most with this first chapter was how you incorporated other supernatural beings aside from just werewolves and showed how they relate to one another. I love the idea that they actually have a set of laws that govern them, and I can't wait to see how that comes into play in later chapters. I'll definitely be coming back to catch up on this.

Before I begin, I want to tell you how must I love the layout and banner to this story.

The Lycan was bearing its teeth at me, wishing, I could see in its eyes, that he could wrap them around my torso.
This sentence is a little weird to me. I understand what you are saying here, but I think the wording is just a little off. I could see in its eyes was the line that sort of threw me off. It just feels like it doesn't belong in the sentence.

Soon after I was snapped at by the Lycan.

Jeremy grinned at me. He was still young but he was good at what he did.
This part was a little confusing to me. Was the main girl snatched up by the Lycan? Who is Jeremy?

So far, after reading the first chapter, I can honestly say that this is a very good story. It is an interesting idea, and you have made it come alive. But some parts of the first chapter were a little weird, and to me, some things felt a little rushed. But that was just me. Overall, I really like this story~

The idea makes me think of Buffy The Vampire Slayer…a lot.
It’s written wonderfully with maybe a few misplaced commas or fragments here and there. I especially like this line: Save those who needed saving; kill those who were incapable of being saved. It’s just the whole premise I have a problem with. Maybe I’m just naturally avert to paranormal stories. Someone who likes this kind of story would really love this. :)

The layout is really pretty btw. I like the way you put different people's banners at the beginning of each chapter.

I absolutely positively love the concept of this story. It's so different and original from other "werewolf" or supernatural stories out there and it's like a breath of fresh air. You basically have an entire world under your fingertips and you handle it beautifully. I love Ashley's character - how badass she is, and how much she loves her sister, and her work ethic. She's so well developed.

I also loved the troll battle. I myself have a difficult time writing long action sequences so I know it's difficult, but yours is amazingly detailed. I could picture it in my head like a movie.

I can't wait to see where this goes :) You're a wonderful writer.

His hair was long, dark and pulled back into a bun. Long, thick strands hung over his forward and draped across his eyes Did you mean forhead maybe?

I love the ending of this chapter, you didn't give the story just yet and that just makes it all the more inticing. I love how you kept describing his eyes, it flowed perfectly to me. I don't know how you aren't pleased with yourself, it's absolutely wonderful :D

Alright so I've only gotten through the first chapter so far, but I thought I'd comment to let you know, I AM reading (and plan on continuing). This is WONDERFULLY written. I love it. The layout is marvelous. Very simple and classy. And I love how she talks actually. It's kinda stuffy true, but it's also in line with her character which makes it perfect!

OH I liked how the final word was 'pet' you know seeing as he's a werewolf and she asked that question. I found that witty :)

Great update. I really wanna find out how Johnny can still live...hmmm :)

How good this story is getting! Like, it was great before, but what I'm trying to say is that the plot is thickening and I like it. I like it a lot. I wish I had read it before I went to the artwalk, I could have told so many people about this story there. They probably would have thought I was a psycho until they looked though :)

A great update!
hmmm I lycan that doesn't change....interesting....

Zomg, publish this please.

In the first banner, which is lovely by the way, just like all the rest of them, aha, it looks like the two are kind of hugging!(: I thought it was cute, hehe.<3

So, just to get this off my chest; My name is Ava Marie and I do believe I've found my new addiction.<3 This is amazing I haven't read the book you talked about in you author's note, but after reading your story, I don't think I want to. xD <3

I love how detailed everything is. It's also incredibly easy to keep up with so I'm not sitting in some dark room going "What?" It's really and truly amazing. (: <3

I think my favorite, favorite, favorite part about this, besides the lovely detail is the bit about the eyes. Eyes are my favorite thing on any person, thus that sticks out to me. :)

This is amazing, like I and everyone else before has said, and I'm def. subscribing. :)
<3

But the most disturbing thing about her was the large bulbous like shapes forming on her back and stomach. Eggs. Ew.

You have a very vivid imagination. I love it.

I AM SO LATE ON THIS! I read the first update, and I will get to more, I promise, but I haven't had the time to do so. Anyway, I shall hopefully catch up by tomorrow or Saturday. Lovely, as usual. No grammar or spelling errors, so all is good there in the department :) I didn't find this chapter one bit lacking, it was mysterious, and you didn't make the vampire all cliche, you made it be actually what it's supposed to be, scary. I love the detail and description you put into you're writing, it never ceases to amaze me! You're writing never bores me either. It's entertaining and a page-turner, even your shortest chapters are!

I love how she is just so bad ass, I mean seriously the way she turned the tables on him and about took him out. I am starting to dislike Tierra. Though good twist with the brother, causes a new dynamic. But even though her character is shady I still sort of like her, there is a defiance there. Sort of like Ashley, but not exactly noble like hers.

I am so excited to read more, the store is really getting going now.