Nevermore - Comments

I felt like the dialogue just was a bit off. Like it wasn't completely realistic. It felt a tad bit thought out and not as if they were just speaking to one another. I felt it would have worked for a story set in the past, but I have no indication of the time period and some of the things said to Sarah seem more modern.

I think it's an interesting short piece. It could stand a little description to really set the time. I think if there was just a little paragraph of how they were dressed, what the era was, maybe even things on the desk like quills if it's in the past, or biros if it's now then that would give a better picture.

If it is the past, I like what Sarah says. I like the melodramatic responses. It's a nice frame and if you do ever decide to edit it, let me know. I'd love to read it again.

^We use mum over in England.

drabbable for drabbable
Questions:Why do you spell mom mum in the summary?

Comments: It seemed as if there was a big problem, but then it was just over a heart break
it was pretty good
Likes: how you named the story(:

Dislikes: none

Errors: none that I see