The In-Betweeners - Comments

I really like the layout! It’s very pretty. Too bad the background’s watermarked.

The title seems really interesting.

I liked the last part of the summary, but I guess it wouldn’t make much sense without the first part. I thought the summary was kind of interesting, but too serious for something that’s tagged as a comedy.

Okay, the start of the first chapter does seem a little bit funny. I liked it. :)

I was a nobody who cared too much, she was a could-have-been-somebody that didn’t care. – I like this line
I think I like the second chapter better than the first because things seem to be coming together to form a story.

I like this story. It’s definitely different, but in a subtle way. Not like, in-your-face different. I think I’ll keep an eye on this one. Good job. :)

i really love this layout/banner :)
the first paragraph was a great hook for the story
it's something everyone can relate to, so good job on that :)
and you explained it and the confusion very well
aw poor Shane :( but i love that as a girl's name.
I don't believe with her in the God sense she is talking about,
but I do respect her opinion , and it adds to her character
very, very good beginning with a great hook :)
defenitly something that'll go far <3 great job!

This is a story I actually saw somewhere yesterday that I started reading. :)
I really like it, just because it's berautiful.
I don't like how...ongoing the description is. It just seems like you're trying too hard to add too much into it.
I love the layout, and I love the plot.
I'm going to subscribe, just because it's that good.

I agree with the commenter above. You're writing is absolutely brilliant. One thing I noticed that I didn't really like was all the wordiness of the description. I feel like a description should be more short and to the point to draw the reader in. Regardless though, this was awesome. Keep it up! ;)

Okay, I adore this. Really. Your writing is impeccable and perfect in so many ways. Just... gah. Seriously. Brilliant.

I love the summary, just because I find "normal" to be such an interesting concept in it's own, with the whole "what the hell is normal" so I really loved that. Normally I'm not one who likes long summaries, but this one definitely caught my attention.

YOU HAVE FOUND MY SOFT SPOT. I'm a total sucker for the entire psychology thing, I love the whole why-do-people-do-the-things-they-do thing, so you definitely have captured my attention fully. I mean, why do those people do the things they do? It's a good question, though.

I like how he's really relatable, the main character. I mean, considering the majority of kids aren't on a pedestal with a stereotype plastered underneath, they're just... normal, aha, if that makes any sense. Like some people are sort of known by everyone as being that, but at least they're known, while some people just... aren't. I really like that perspective. And how he curses God a lot, because I am damn guilty of that. :D

If anything, there's still no name.

I really like him though, to me, he's actually sort of adorable. I like their relationship too, with Shane. She seems pretty cool, her I don't give a shit attitude seems actually quite awesome. They sort of compliment each other well, from what I've read anyways.

The only criticism is that... well, nothing's happened, aha. It's more like constant back story, no real dialogue or action or anything. But otherwise, it is pretty fabulous. :D

somebody call 911. this thing is on fire!! lol
I loved it! So much!

I just found a piece of awesome.
This is absolutely wonderful, dear! The way you described each stereotype was very spot on. Society sounds like my school, not going to lie. Everyone has their place and they'll stay in that place. No one dares venture out of it. I'm already very interested in Shane and our nameless main character (I've only read chapter one.) and I love the way he / she thinks. They're very intellectual and inspired quite a bit of thought in me. That's what I look for in a story: enjoyment and thought. And believe me, I got both from this! Also, I love the layout. It's very monochromatic and plain, but that splash of red in the banner gives it that little spice to make it exciting! Fantastic job! I'll be watching and waiting for more. ;)

The layout is just breath taking. The banner is amazing.
The summary about "normal" is well written and descriptive <3 I've always wondered what normal would actually be.

I never understood how those cliques came to be. What made a jock a jock? What made the emos emo? What made a nerd a nerd? Obviously there were visible defining factors between these cliques. The jocks were brawny, the emos wore black, the nerds’ backs were hunched from carrying so many textbooks in their backpacks. But why?

I really do adore this part. Cliques just...irk me xD
Definitely subscribing <3
Update soon? ;D

Oh.My.Goodness.

This is incredible!
And no, I'm not saying that just because I want nice comments ;P

This literally blew my mind away. I've wondered the same things so many times. I never understood why everyone chose to be seperate because of "who" they were. And who says that's "who they are" anyway? I love these lines from Chapter 1:

"I never understood how those cliques came to be. What made a jock a jock? What made the emos emo? What made a nerd a nerd? Obviously there were visible defining factors between these cliques. The jocks were brawny, the emos wore black, the nerds’ backs were hunched from carrying so many textbooks in their backpacks. But why?"

The whole story is so believable and relatable! I'm subsribing.
Awesome job.

So far I love it. (:
The banner is nice. It was the first thing to get my attention.
Your writing is nice. Easy to read and really descriptive. I didn't see any mistakes.
Just the summary is enough to make you want to read on.
I enjoyed reading this and would like to read more.

First off, I love the layout!
The description made me really excited to the first chapter, so you did a great job grabbing the reader's attention.
I love you're writing style! It's very unique and it flows easily!
Nice job! (:

By just reading the summary I instantly am intrigued. Your writing kind of reminds me of Scott Westerfield. It sounds like a sort of secret society when it's really just real life. Your writing makes being 'normal' sound like science-ficiton. Very interesting perspective. :)

The jocks were brawny, the emos wore black, the nerds’ backs were hunched from carrying so many textbooks in their backpacks. Add a 'and' before 'the nerds'.

I really enjoyed the first chapter as well. Like I said you have such an eloquent style of writing. You've got a great vocabulary so it really matures your writing, and to be honest even thought it's a high school story, I really want to ocnitnue reading it. Normally I would be like 'this is nice, but not my cup of tea' but your writing definitely changed my perspective. I'm subscribing. :)

wow that's a very intricate way to look at things right off the bat in the intro it makes me think. And I'm more curious to see how much this in-between can be accurately characterized.

Paragraphs 5 and 6 speak to me the most and hold the most truth. It seems very real and very entrancing. So are they both in-between even though they are so different? Or at least it appears so? I'm still just really curious where this is going to go over all I can't predict it much which is a good thing I think.

I love the summary and the layout, especially the banner picture. It goes with the story but doesn't go with the story... gah, I love that picture.

Th stream of consciousness writing style is something you don't see too often anymore (and it's actually one of the only reasons I liked The Catcher in the Rye as much as I did) and I like it a lot. I liked how the character considers him/herself a wallflower but not, since he/she says the wallflowers do get noticed and they don't at all.

Was it something pre-ordained by some unseen force? I doubted that. I had never been a huge believer in God. I had the habit of cursing God whenever something went wrong. My calculator broke in the middle of a big math test? God was an asshole. My father yelled at me for no particular reason? God caused it. But then there were those defining moments where I distinctly remember thinking, Oh, shit. If there is a God, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve said, whatever I’ve done that went against you. I really do believe in you.

I love that paragraph since it reminds me of myself a lot.

Lovely job here, I love it.

I absolutley ADORE the summary!!! Adore it! It's clinical but personal? Well done.

As for the story... um wow. Sounds kind of like me except... i'm gay, so lots of people know me because of that :P
Your words flowed so well! Sometimes when writing stories like this, people on here jump from idea to idea, not this story! Each idea and thought flowed together so that it seemed like a stream of conscienceness that was well thought out... lol pretty contradicting statement right there :P
I love the question of what defines a kid. I think it's a mixture of parents, the society you live in, where you family ranks on the social ladder, who you look up to, who influences you, what you want to be, and what you don't want to be.
Lovely job! And beautiful layout!

This is magnificent! Your style is absolutely fantastic and easy on the eyes. It wasn't hard to read or to understand and it actually made me think about the whole "what defines a child" question. I love it!

I loved your writing style. It held my interest and your sentences flowed nicely. You should a very interesting thought process about cliques. I like this story because it's a different approach to the normally cliche' world of cliques. On a side note, I liked your layout as well. I'm interested to see where you take this story! I'm curious to learn more and I loved this! I'm subbing :D
I also liked this line because I do this all the time lol: But then there were those defining moments where I distinctly remember thinking, Oh, shit. If there is a God, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve said, whatever I’ve done that went against you. I really do believe in you.

You have a very nice writing style. I can't tell you anything that's wrong, because there isn't. Ha ha. I love this idea. It reminded me of a manga called The Wallflower. Of course, it's just because of the name.

The story is very unique and I'm excited to learn more of the character, to see how her personality develops. The way you wrote this, I got a bit of a feel of her persona. Very nice. All I can say is that I must know more. I love how you made your character in between cliche's (An in-betweener xD).

Oh, please write more soon. Update. I shall be subscribing. Thank you for leading me to this wonderful story in the journal section.

I love it :) Can't wait to see what happens.