January 28th, 2011 at 02:56am
One-Shot For A One-shot
Greek Mythology was a clever idea to use, I love it. When Briseis describes Paris after his defeat, the words were vivid and realistic; your writing really shone there. I like your banner & layout too; its suiting.
Her speech is grand and pretty, the despair she is feeling is portrayed extremely well. The whole one-shot is beautifully written and you did a great job. Paris was cruel, yet kind and I can't help but like his character for it.
Right off the bat, your summary immediately caught my interest. I will admit that I'm not too familiar with the movie Troy or the events surrounding it but nonetheless, I was excited to read the story. Your layout is nice as well; it's clean and not distracting but it also looks good.
The description in that opening paragraph was amazing, pure and simple. I could picture the bodies sprawled on the battlefield. You also have a way with dialogue; you really built up the tension between Briseis and Paris and that punch literally made me jump a little bit.
Overall, although I was missing some background information that would have made this easier to understand, this was beautifully written. I felt sorry for Paris, even if he was cruel and I actually pitied Briseis. You are a very talented writer. (: