For A While - Comments

I really like this latest chapter you have. It's very...I'm trying to think of words to describe it and it's hard. It's real, but without being overdone or overplayed. It's actually rather simple in a way. It's a memory and yet drawing. You kind of just sit there and for a moment in time you are part of these lives that you know nothing about but think maybe I want to know.

The summary is beautiful. Interesting, so good. I love it.

Chapter 4: All the chapters are short, but it seems to fit with the story somehow. I love the way you described things.
these human things. All mine. I could really feel this chapter. I could feel the message you got across, it was plain as day.

The line about the blinking makes me think of Owl City's Vanilla Twilight, but I liked that. It made the song play like a soundtrack in my head while I read your story.

Very good! I love it!

So, I was definitely into this, until I read "I want you to come on tour with the band."

Just died a little inside.

I like it, there's definitely potential, but I don't understand why you're making it a bandfic. I really think you're a talented writer and could pose probable situations WITHOUT a confined space creating relationships, but that's your style, and I'll say nothing more about it.

I really like the language you used, and the indirect way you explained almost exactly what was going on. I'm a little confused about genders (but I think that's because they're lesbians.) Overall, I would read this, but bandfics are not my thing. Keep at it, it's good, regardless.