I actually very much adore the way this is written. It's got that epic forbidding tone to it and I think you do a fabulous job at showing us just how messed up this family system is. I like the first person narrative in this, normally I prefer third person but I feel like if you had it any other way it wouldn't be as brilliant as it is. Aside from a few spelling errors, this is otherwise perfect. But one I feel like I should point out.
oesphagus. it's esophagus.