Poet of Narnia - Comments

Amanda! First off I like the banner and the layout but this isn't unusual. Most of the stories you've written I have like the banner, layout, and everything else really. Old news on my part. What the legend never mentioned was a stubborn girl seemingly determined to make his life as difficult as possible. That's a great line. It made me laugh and we both know if you're summary can make me laugh then no doubt the story will too. At the appropriate times anyhow, I know when to be serious and stuff.

Psh, sounds like mom needs to focus on all of her children instead of just two. Pregnant/Already parenting or not. Want ot know what would be cool? If she was reading that book in the first chapter. Yes, your adventure has started. It's going to be n amusing one too probably if she's making his life as difficult as your summary claimed. I haven't clicked over to the second chapter but I have a feeling Caspian is going to have a major wtf moment. At least in my mind he did because really, how often do you ride for you life and see and strange girl in a lake? A girl who looks like she didn't belong in your world too.

Aw, no wtf moment but frustration is good enough. I have to agree with Margarret though, it looked like he needed more saving than she did. I would be surprised too if some guy dragged me up on his horse even if he did have a swarm of killers hot on his tail. Instead of demanding some answers though I probably would have haulled off and smacked him too. Enforce the ladylike behaviors that I usually scoff at and stuff. I feel like it would fit the moment. Okay fine Iwouldn't slap him but I would make a big deal out of struggleing to get away.

Still thinks this is all a dream? It's a bit too realistic to be a dream at this point. I've actually been hurt in dreams and woken up with bruises and stuff. I alwasy assumed I was the one leaving them. Anyways, if I was Maragret I would be thinking more along the lines of Oh Shit I'm dead! Rather than Oh What An Interesting Dream This is turning Out To Be only since she fell into water. Not ont her bed or land or something. She squeaks a lot...

Okay so with chapter four I almost thought that Maragret had managed to get home and took Caspian with her. That would be funny. But the dwaves and talkng badger gave it away that he wasn't in the real world (For Margarret). I'm guessing they didn't push her around or anything since she helped then make soup and stuff. Is it becuse she's a woman or because she isn't that initimidating? I would think it was both only because one it would be respectful and two if she wasn't scary then she would probably have a better chance at escaping. Better chances than Caspian did.

please update soon (:

this is really good! love it =D

Though I haven't read the Narnia books or Sense and Sensibility, this wasn't entirely hard for me to follow, which was good. I really like how you delved straight into the action, and I can sense that this is going to be an action-packed story, which is refreshing. The only suggestion I have would be to work more on characterization and backstory. Since not all of your readers are going to be familiar with these two fandoms, you'll be able to hook in the ones that know nothing about these books by adding a little backstory and characterization. Though I get a glimpse of Margaret's character, I know nothing about Caspian. I'd also like to see more of a description of the setting, because you say that this land is greater than anything she could've imagined, but what makes it that? So far, I haven't really read anything that makes it seem like a fantastic setting.

I actually loved the chapter you had a hard time writing. Great job. This story seems promising, so I'll be subscribing for more. Keep writing! :)

Personally, you drew me in with the whole "Narnia" thing. I love Narnia. <3
The layout is beautiful, simplistic and cute, but still attractive.
There's really not much to critique on; you have received my full attention with this and I really would love to see some more. Seriously.
<3