This is no Act of Vengance - Comments

This is really good!!
Hope you do well in the contest!

Chapter Two:
I like how your main character is arguably mentally unhealthy. It shows your story is written realistically, and I think it’s easier for the reader to relate and connect to the story if there is no semblance that cutting and abuse is something normal and everyday. Sure, it happens to normal people, but it scars them emotionally and physically (which you were able to portray to the reader).

One thing I did notice however was “Maria had taken talking to herself” should be “Maria had started to talk to herself” or even “Maria began to talk to herself” if you’d like to stay in 100 words.

Another thing that caught my attention was how the cuts have different intentions. The first was an experiment, the second was intentional—it really shows how your character is developing, along with her psychological trauma.

Chapter One:
For just 100 words, the chapter was very well done. However, I don’t think the chapter effectively captured why she cut herself the first time. Sure, she feels guilty about it, but that’s something that can be developed later in the story.

Even if it was an experiment the first time, she must have thought either she deserved to be hurt, that her abuse was her own fault, or that she needed pain to cope with the abuse. A little more development would have been nice and made the character more 3D as well.

Otherwise, I think the language of this chapter was well thought out, and the subject is something most writers shy away from because it requires graphic imagery and sometimes, personal experience.

Oh wow that was intense. You have a good style of writing... especially with your descriptions. For one hundreds words you hit everything spot on.

She saw her body as a house on fire that no amount of water could put out. That line just blew me away, in a good way though.

Your descriptions really put me inside this characters head, which I like because I like to be able to see a story as I read it.

You said this was your first drabble. Well I say you did pretty damn good for your first drabble.

I thought this drabble was interesting. The picture and the drabble fits well together, and the words you used would create lots of different images in the reader's minds. That's what you did there - you wrote a lot about what was happening, but I thought maybe you could've written more about how the girl was feeling. Maybe that could increase the reader's understanding as to what was happening and how she was feeling or something.
A great drabble, and the wording you used was too. Good job! :D