I Need Help - Comments

This was really good. I liked how it was choppy and you explained his life. I think you could have gone into more depth about how he was bullied when he was younger, but nontheless it was really good. :D

wow this was really good
like others have said it had a lot of emotion and was believable
:D

Lightning Zap:

This is really good. There's lots of emotion in it. I'm not sure whether this is the one shot u were talking about, so I'll let you confirm that it is, before I start talking to you about it...

You're a great writer :D You have the potential to write great things :D

Yeah, thats the one I meant.

I will pm you to talk about it.

This is really good. There's lots of emotion in it. I'm not sure whether this is the one shot u were talking about, so I'll let you confirm that it is, before I start talking to you about it...

You're a great writer :D You have the potential to write great things :D

Wow I really like it. You should make it into a full story! =]

Wow.
I'm sure that was hard to write, but I think you did a wonderful job of it, to be honest.
The way it's written, makes it seem more real. Just how simple it is acctually quite nice.