What Do You Want for Christmas? - Comments

It’s just me, I’m a very picky reader, but the layout wasn’t a big turn on for. However, it’s a good thing you didn’t make the background repeat all over the place and that would have cluttered everything. The summary was good, I like that you gave us a small scene from the two characters. It sounded very cute and I was hooked.

I loved the first line, you made me laugh when I read that the tree looked like a decoration bombhad gone off.

I completely and out loud went “awhhhh, that is so cute.” And it really was. You set the scene up perfectly and describe the scene so grand that I could picture it in my head.

Wonderfully done mate!

The opening line is absolute brilliance; it sets the tone for the story in a great way, and it makes the line about how it didn't seel like Christmas seem even more powerful. I like the relationship between the older sister and Callie, and then how she just seems to chill with her friend.

The dialogue seems entirely natural, even though you don't know much about the two friends or how close they are, or if they're even girlfriends. I'm thinking more of the latter judging by the sort of comfortability between the two where Stell really just opens up and vents a little.

I like how Sean's wrapping job wasn't perfect. It makes her seem like a bit more of a teenage girl, one who just likes to chill, and it sort of fits her character that you've made.

The ending was completely adorable and something that I bet any girl who'd lost their mum would love to get. An album full of memories is a brilliant thing, and the fact that Sean asked around for the pictures sort of gives her a sweeter sort of nature.

I loved it.
I literally nearly cried.
That was brilliant.