A Little Bit of Luck - Comments

Things seem to be moving along.
Hopefully everything goes according to plan.
I really am loving this story and can't wait to see what happens next. :)

It's so exciting! I was really glad when I finally decided to look through my story updates to see that this was updated! I love this story and these last two chapters just proved that fact even more!

Donovan totally rocked.
I love how he had his father and step-mom eating out of his hand.
I can't believe that Donovan and Mackenzie would go so far to fool their mother, and yet their grandfather knows everything. Kinda funny.
I really need to know what happens next!!

Dude, this was just too cool!!!

“I told Scott that you are immature and now he can see the proof!” Donovan exclaimed pointing towards Scott and Kurt.

“Oh and you are mature? Because I’m pretty sure you just tried to tattle on me.” Mackenzie rolled her eyes at her brother.
I just love that sibling affection. :)

As Mackenzie and Donny were explaining the plan, I was getting really excited. Seems like things are getting into motion and I can't wait to read the outcome.
Knowing now what Clifford did to piss off Mackenzie and Donny, I don't blame them for wanting to get their revenge. I also really love that little history lesson, very interesting back story.
It is painfully obvious how much thought and planning you put into this chapter and the whole story.
Can't wait for the next update!!!!

this story is amazing, the backround is fairly unique and the banner is awsome. your writing is amazing and very wonderful. it made me feel like i was there. i am surely going to suscribe. im so curious to find out what happens next. update soon :)

OMG AN UPDATE!!! Like Melissa I like this idea. You have no idea how happy I am to see that there is an update! I liked this update. It gave a set up even more for some of the relationships and the different characters as well. I'm just curious to see how they're going to get away with everything since she stole things for the safe now. Update soon?

the next chapter, woo!
this idea is so unique- I really do like it
anyway.. on to chapter 4:
wow, her and Scott have been dating ofr 7 years? dang!
that's a long time..
xD haha poor Donny, he does need a girlfriend though...
oh my gosh- boys and their xbox's i freaking swear!
so the guy who owns the casino is smart, but basically a douche?
this is going to take a lot of work - I'm anxious to know what goes down during it
ohh go Mackenzie being straight forward man!
wait a second... is the casino owner her father? i got confused there...
this is getting good. great new chapter <3 ;)

Awesome.

I loved it. The plan and strategy was very straight forward and for a second I thought something would go wrong and Mackenzie would get busted by her dad. Thankfully, everything went off without a hitch.

I can't wait to find out what's going to happen next. I keep thinking Danny McCoy and Mike Cannon from Las Vegas are gonna make an appearance, but Mackenzie, Scott and Donovan aren't robbing the Montecito. Haha.

“Donny,” Scott began, setting up in bed and chuckling, “you really need a girlfriend or something. You are starting to get ridiculously bitchy about your sister and I.”{/i]

That made me laugh.
Can't wait for the next update, kid.
I know I've said this before, but I'm gonna run the risk of sounding like a broken recored: Your writing does get better and better!

The layout was very cool, and it fitted your story perfectly. It might just be me but i think the colors gave off a casino vibe.
I really liked the prologue. it set up a scene of mild suspense, where you didn't really know what was gonna happen, but you were wondering what her dad would think. I loved it.
The actual story part is very suspenseful. I normally don't really subscribe to stories that are attempt suspense, because no one really pulls it off, but I feel like you know what you're doing. I can't wait to find out how they rob the casino. :D
It was also very well written and I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors, so great job! :D

Well, first off, I do like the layout. The purples you chose compliment each other nicely.
Secondly, I was instantly hooked with the prologue and was wondering how her dad felt about her speech.
After three months in paradise, I think I'd get pretty antsy too. Your characters seem like they're used to being in motion, so I can understand how bored they must feel after three months at a standstill. Which has me wondering, what their last job was and how much they managed to make off with.
As I was reading this, I couldn't help but think of Ocean's Eleven, but as I continued to read further, my opinion changed. The robbing of a casino seems to be the only thing in common with the movie. I'm incredibly curious as to how they will pull off the heist.
And I'm glad Kurt decided to join them. I'm not sure why, but as I was reading the second chapter, I felt anxious about what you have in store for Kurt.
I'm looking forward to reading the next update, kid. Your writing just keeps on getting better and better.

Like others have said, I'm not loving the layout but at least it seems to go with the plot and it's not one of the pre-made ones. I loved the prolougue because of the raw emotion in it. What I would have liked to see a little more of in the first two chapters was that same emotion carried through and a little bit of character development. So far the reader really only knows the names of all the characters, not their personalities. But then again I don't know if you were holding off on that for future chapters. Either way I enjoyed this :) Good job.

woo next chapter <3
oh jeez ,they're gonna rob some place
I have a feeling that's not going to end well
Now I finally get the title
they luck to try and steal all this money,
at a casino of all places
I'm actually getting really into this story line now :)
I have mixed feelings, like I'm not sure what's going to happen
which makes me want to read more of course :D
well at least Kurt has some sense, but I have a feeling
that he will come up sometime during this
and i was right :) there he is!
this is so good so far! keep t up!

kallisto. said everything I wanted to say, really. And Ava caught your grammar errors.

The layout, I didn't like, but I did like the banner.

Your plot was very interesting because I've never read anything like it.

Very nice. Continue. :)

The plot line seems intriguing and absolutely unique. It's a very clever, original idea.

Things that involve robbery/perfect crimes catch my interest. I'm not sure why.

Mackenzie seems to be an angsty teen; mad at her father for . . . well, obviously being greedy and selfish. I'd probably be, too. I'm interested in finding out her complete past. Your writing and the words you choose seem to put everything together. It's just so clever.

I love the layout, but the way. Completely brilliant.

I'm going to read on, now. :DD

Chapter One

They still had the funds and to keep them afloat for at least the next eight months.
This line got a little trippy. I think it's the 'and' in the middle.

“I love you,” He said.
If you're going to end his speech with a comma, it's not the end of a sentence.
The word "he" should not be capitalized.

I only noticed a few other teeny tiny mistakes but didn't see the point in pulling them out. They weren't too major. (:

I think I speak for everyone when I saw that we cannot keep living like this.
You can tell something is about to change in their lifestyle, hehe.<3

I really really like how this story isn't one I'd label as stereotypical. It seems different. I mean, heck, if I was at some lovely island get away seeming place, I'd want to stay. But this girl, MacKenzie, she wants to leave. I like how she's not typical either. :)

Like I said in my previous comment, this is very very interesting. I'll admit that some of the detail was rather boring, but the main points kept me hooked.<3 I love this.

I can tell almost immediately that there is some sort of family issues going on, and that she clearly doesn't like her daddy very much and from what I can tell a pretty good reason. The story has a nice set up and you seem to know your characters fairly well which not a lot of people do. The layout is cute. <3 :3 I like how it fits oddly but it'd never work for me because I'm all OCD about everything being centered. Great work ,I'll definitely stick around.

Prolouge

“So you can call me whatever you like when I grow up. But just remember, if the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree then what does that make you?”

This line was very clever. I think there should be a comma after the word ' then ' but then again that's probably just me, aha.

I do believe this was a very nice introduction. It gave me a little bite to start with - that this girl is not on good terms with her father - and then it left me guessing by saying: she's not done growing yet. I'm very, very curious to see where this goes. <3

I like your short detail and I like the way that you're not afraid to have a notably darker layout. This story has caught my interest and I blame your nice writing style. Not to mention it seems like a terribly lovely and unique idea. ;) <3

I'm off to read Chapter One now.<3

I agree with kallisto. about the layout - but honestly, it's not that big of a deal (: It's just my pickiness over nice layouts, hahaha! Now, I have to admit that I'm not big on casino stories, since I live in stupid Vegas and I loathe anything that has to do with gambling, but this seems pretty cool. I've personally never read a gambling-ish sort of story; those kind of stories remind me a bit of that movie 21, lol! Anyways, I like how this begins. Mackenzie is definitely an interesting character; she seems pretty feisty and cool. In the first chapter, I got an immediate liking for Scott. I dunno why, though; there's something about him that I like. And...oh, my, robbing a casino? That's a great way to pull in some major cash! xD
This is really, really cool so far. Honestly, I didn't expect to like it as much as I did - like I said, I don't read many stories like this and when I do, they're often horridly written - but I'm really glad that I claimed and read this. I can't wait to see what happens next (:
Great job!

Wow! I really like this! I wasn't sure what to expect when I first started reading it so I kind of just dived into everything. The layout is great. Simple, well put together, very fitting and very readable which is rare at times. And I really like the purple. It makes it all pop. Even though I get a little Ocean's Eleven vibe, I have a feeling that things are going to be different. Character development is coming along very nicely and makes you wonder what is going to happen next. You're doing really well with how you progress the plot. Never revealing everything, but just enough to keep you wanting more.

I really hop that you continue this soon!

Okie dokie, here we go!

Layout/banner: I love the simpleness of the layout. It's easy on the eyes and the colors work very well together. I love the banner; it goes with the background image perfectly. I love it =)

Prologue: The prologue was quite short, which I guess makes sense with a prologue. I'm interested to see what exactly made Mackenzie walk out on her father. It really pulled me in, which is exactly what a prologue/introduction should do, so well done on that =D

Chapter 1: Oh, I wonder what this plan Mackenzie has is. I think that maybe you could have gone more into detail with the characters so the reader can get to know them a little better, even if the main focus is the jobs that they do. I really want to see what this job is.

Chapter 2: Ooh, robbing a hotel/casino in Vegas? That'd be a good haul XD
What I really liked about this chapter was that you showed a little bit more into each character, which I was kind of hoping for. You showed what the characters' strengths are, which helps a lot with a story like this. I can't wait to see where it goes from here.

I know this is short, but I really enjoyed the story this story so far. I can't wait to see what happens next!