His Lip-Ring Smile - Comments

WOW.
This was absolutely amazing. I love you're writing style, the fluency in your words, the grace in your sentence structure is simply mesmerizing.
Great job <3

I really liked this, because you know I've always liked your writing. :)

The only thing that I say needs a bit of thought is the paragraphing. Whenever someone new speaks there should be a new paragraph. And in the beginning the paragraphing seems a bit random too.

This floor is a comfort zone. This wall is an embrace. This void is external. A pair of Chuck Taylor’s touches the ground.
They’re busted. Ripped and dirty. I try my best to remain indifferent, and succeed. I always do. A body slumps down next to me. I turn my head. Indifference sucks. I don’t want to miss out.

This should either be a double paragraph, or it should be the same paragraph alltogether. At least, that's what I think. x]

But other than the paragraphing, you're using the grammar greatly, and there's a really good flow to the story. I enjoyed reading it, the story was really good, and the words you use fit perfectly. Basically, this was really good and you did a great job. You almost sparked my lust for writing Frerards again. XD

My favorite part:

“You amuse me.” Cue distorted facial expression from Frank.
But it doesn’t come. A silly giggle erupts from his throat.
“Perseverance,” I continue.

Which should look like this.

“You amuse me.” Cue distorted facial expression from Frank. But it doesn’t come. A silly giggle erupts from his throat.

“Perseverance,” I continue.

Or possibly like this:

“You amuse me.” Cue distorted facial expression from Frank.

But it doesn’t come. A silly giggle erupts from his throat.

“Perseverance,” I continue.

Jag gillade det här Frida, jättebra! Din Engelska har blivit jättebra. <3

Fantastic.

There should be comments on this. Pages and pages and pages of comments.
No doubt, somebody has told you this in the past, but you're an amazingly talented writer. Keep up the fantastic work.