Operation Warren - Comments

To start I really like the layout, it’s simple and not distracting in the slightest.
The summary is nice and to the point.
Prologue:
The only problem I can find is this “…millions turned those next to them …” I think it should be millions turned to those next to them. Otherwise it’s a clear cut chapter with adequate description, though I do think you could describe the terrified faces more.
The way you end the prologue is just great. I really like the last sentence and how blunt it is.
Part One:
This one has no faults that I can see. I really like how you describe the way they're rounded up. I think this is a great chapter.
Overall I would say that you have a great story on your hands and I’ll definitely continue reading. :)

Oh my goodness, this story is pure awesome. I've been dying to find a story that is similar to yours and I'm glad I found this one. Even though your chapters are short, you put a great amount of descriptive details in the chapter, and it helps me paint a picture in my mind. I also love your layout. It's not obnoxiously coloful and it fits with the tone of the story. Other than that, keep it up! You're a great writer and I'll definately be subscribing. :D

This is really cool and an interesting idea. It sort of reminds me of an apocolypse, and the last chance to save mankind, and it really interests me.
Your chapters aren't long, which I prefer because my attention span sort of sucks. It is well written with a good amount of detail, but not so much that it gets boring. I also really like your layout, it goes with the story and it isn't at all distracting, but it's very simple.
The first chapter was really good, especially with your last line "the beginning of the end." really intense haha.
good job :]

Just off the bat, this is a great concept for a story. Just the idea of only saving 200,000 people from certain death during a calamity of practically Biblical proportions really is a concept I like. Maybe I just like disaster/tragedy stories, but yeah.

The first chapter really did an excellent job of setting the scene in the story. The first paragraph starts out very mundane, although I think that there should be an and after the comma in The six o' clock news started, all over America millions of people sat down in front of their televisions.

And that was that. The beginning of the end. I literally got chills when I read this line. Ugghhh... I hope that nothing like this ever happens, at least not in my lifetime.

Uhm, yeah. This is an original idea and I'm definitely intrigued to see how you're going to carry this on. :)

I went ahead and read your two chapters.

Wow. If this ever happened....let's just hope this never happens. Just the thought of only 200,000 people being 'saved' from death is scary. I wouldn't want to be killed by radiation or a nuclear bomb. That would suck. Though I wouldn't like to live under ground with the risk of it caving in. I am clasterphobic and that would suck even more than being bombed.

I am loving this plot. Just invisioning what is happening is ......well its powerful to say the least. I cannot wait to read more and find out what you plan on doing with the people down below the Earth's crust. I am extremely curious about what is going to happen and how you will have us readers see everything.

I am going to subscribe, because you have caught my attention with a well written story and it is fasinating. I want to find out what happens.

So, uh, Russia is going to war against an entire continent? Not just an alliance of countries, but the whole f*cking shebang. Dang, what the hell happened?

Definitely subscribing. :)

Like the layout. Goes well with the story.

I like your style of writing. Most of it flows very well, though some things seem a little, er rocky? If you know what I mean.
I did see some spelling mistakes. Maybe re-reading it out loud before posting it would help.
The plot in its self is amazing. The characters srae realistic and very much amazing.
Good stuff

new chapter <3 ;D
aww :( such a bad attitude going on there
at least she's being one of hte few that are becoming saved
oh thats gotta suck, getting sick on planes :/
fun, pills, haha that's always great x) now i get why the chapter is called pills though at least
I really hope her sister somehow gets there, I can tell how much she cares for her
I have a feeling this Spencer guy and her might get close ;)
I liked this chpater, excited for the next one :D

My first thought when I read the term Russia, Europe, and war:
"Oh my God, Britain's going to be wiped of the face of the motherf*cking earth! My country's gonna be f*cking BOMBED!!!!" :O

So, as you can see, you drew me into this story instantly! (I have this love for apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic scenarios.)
It seems... cruel to take 20,000 people from their lives. and shove them underground. The first two intoductory chapters are mechanical, which adds effect. Cruel, cold, but necessary. :\ (I know I'd sooner die than be parted from my family, they are my life.)
No doubt somebody will have mentioned how relate-able Laura and her reactions are which is good. We can relate to her character which gives us the feeling of being close to her.

I can imagine those who do not get chosen, or other countries will be freaking out over this.
I wonder what started the war in the first place?

I am so subscribing to this! :D
(But if Britain is destroyed, be warned you will make me cry and my comment will probably be centred on the "OMG Nooooooo!" feelings. Or... anywhere actually... :|)

This is a good story I like the detail and thought you've put in to it, it looks like you've got everything worked out and I like how your showing how worried everyone is that there might be a war, good job.

Much <3 Kat

i really liked the prologue of this,
so I'm ready for the rest of this lovely story :)
okay, so they're pulling out an old plan to use?
which is Operation Warren, which makes sense why the title is that
they're going to send large amounts of people to go underground?
it was smart to have people with no children
you know, just in case anything would happen
they're rounding up children of three months and older up?
that's ridculously young for a mission like this
wow, I'm really getting into this. i mean this idea is genius!

oh, so there is a main character, i want to get to know her :)
dang, that's really sudden! just some random person calls and says
"be ready in an hour, someone from the force will be there to get you"
I don't know what I would do in that situation,
probably assume it was prank call and go back to sleep xD
good idea with the family picutre- i mean you'd want somthing sentimental with you
Okay by this point - where I'm driving in the car. I'd be officially freaked
there has to be like tons of people there, this is so freaking good man :D
Now, did they pick random people? or were these people they chose specifically?
gosh, this is like so addicting! you're such a good writer :D

I wonder how they're going to survive underground for that long
I mean are they going to have that much food stashed away?
they're like robots. they need little bracelets and everything man :/
so how old is Laura? I'd say in her 20s, but I'm not sure
that would bother me, seeing my blood go through that tube hoenstly haha
so this thing is a city, not just a thing of tunnels. I never got that before
oh, so they're actualy trying to just have a population down there,
to make sure that all of them will be safe, okay "m getting this now
good for Laura on making sure her sister is okay :D that's a good sibling there
though I'd probaably do the exact same thing for my step sister
this is so freaking amazingly fantasticly magnificent so far!
I have to subscribe, i have to. that's what I'm doing right now.
i absolutely love this <3

God, this is a brilliant idea. I didn't know what to expect when I first started reading this, but by god, I'm glad I did. This is so interesting and attention catching. I seriously couldn't take my eyes away from the screen. In the prologue you spoke about how Russia launched a rocket into Europe and it landed in Paris, France. How brilliant! Right in one of the most popular cities in Europe; in the world even. This is just down right intoxicating. Fantastic job. <3

I like this idea very much. I think it's really interesting, though for me, I'd be terrified I was going to die or something. Buuut, I hope nothing happens to the main character :)

I'm not big on any kind of stories that involve any kind of fighting but I'm so glad I read this. You have really great description and everything just flows together nicely. Your beginning has great potential and just enough mystery to keep me coming back for me. This is a very promising start and I can't wait to see where you take this. I will more than likely be subscribing. Great job. <3

One thing I noticed right off was that you use the word 'tune' way too often so closely together. It disrupts the flow of things. And it seems like you're afraid to use the word 'and' or something. Instead of using 'and' you seem to use commas in place of them. Which reads weird, but it may just be the way I'm reading it.

It's a nice suspenseful beginning though, just enough mystery and wonder to keep people coming back if only to figure out what is going to happen to those millions of people gasping in front of their televisions.

i like this layout, and the banner picture
'it gives a mysterious feel to it, defenitly
oh jeez Europe and Russia disputes?
and it hit a breaking point, yeah not good
D: nuclear weapons, no! tha'ts noo no no!
such a good prologue, very hooking
wonderful job so far :)

At first, I wasn't sure how I felt about this story, then I hit the last line of the prologue, "And that was that. The beginning of the end." It really seemed to put everything in perspective, for me at least. Of course, I had to continue reading, and I'm glad I did.

I love the thought behind the story. You put so much detail into this plan - how many people, where they will go, how they will be selected. It's beautiful, really.

I'm also in love with the history. Even though it's fiction, there's so much fact that it makes the situation seem plausible. Even though it's a scary thought, it grabs my attention.

This is a really wonderful story, and I'll be sure to subscribe!

LAjunkie
I love you just a little.

I'm officially in love with this story.

I'm adoring how original it is. You're main character's reaction is exactly what mine would've been, it's a great thing to be able to relate to your readers. I noticed small spelling errors, but it's more likely nothing but a finger fumble, nothing huge. I found it to be an easy read, packed with tension, and suspense. I'm anxious for you to update. I have no complaints.

Subbing.

Loved it, great description of tension.
More soon I hope!