Welcome to Hell - Comments

comment swap

oh wow I'm so happy to see a story about black metal, that's very unique and it's probably the first I see on this website, ever!
I like the intro, how it goes back to 1984, I'm a sucker for flashbacks in stories. I also like that it is about Norway, it's not very common to see stories set in non english speaking countries on mibba.
I like how you word it, although I would love more detailed descriptions.
keep writing!

The story is good! Could use a bit more detail, but still, good nonetheless. I find the layout a bit ?? but that's because I'm very neutral on how I like my layouts to look. I don't like them to look bulky or have dark-on-dark text. Anyway, it does fit the story and title name, so I give you props for that !! I can tell you tried very hard on this, and I adore your talent. Good job!

Here from comment swapping:
Um, first of all, I wouldn't quite class 'black metal' (Is that actually a thing?) as some sort of fandom, really. You could use a bit more detail in your chapters, in the first chapter it didn't really interest me because there was a lot of speech and not enough actions. It feels like you're just telling me what's happened and not actually showing me what was really happening. It was going quite fast so again, I lost interest really quickly. You need to work on your writing style and try some Beta reading before you post any chapters.

Same here! I got this story from comment swap and it's really great. The layout and title fit so well it's actually so perfect. I've never really read a fanfic where the characters are playing music stuff and not an actual band that I know, but it's actually really great! There's some interesting names too, which makes the story more memorable. It's a great story :)

@ Rath
Thank you for the kind words, I put a lot of effort in it.

Got this from Comment Swap, so here goes. :)

First off, I would like to say that the layout is very creative and really fits well with the title of the story. It kind of gives off that dark and creepy vibe, which is really cool and helps to engage in wanting to read the story. Secondly, I thought that the summary was good. It was short, sweet and too the point. Which I loved. Lastly, I really liked the story line. It was engaging and I felt like I was going through everything with the characters. It was a terrific story and I really loved reading the story. I'm glad that I got this story for the Comment Swap. :D

@ itsallforshow69
Thanks lovely for the advice and kind words. I'm trying to work on the detail but I'm lazy, I'm sure I'll get it soon.

Quite and intriguing story. I felt very involved and I encourage to you continue writing. You have a wonderful talent and I can see that you put a lot of hard work into this. I will defiantly continue reading this, and other stories by you.
However, as I am sure you have heard, your detail is somewhat lacking a bit. A little more improvement there will certainly add to the amazing ability you have. Stay beautiful!

Got here from comment swap.

Firstly I like the layout, the banner is awesome. The summary is simple, yet gripping. Which is very good.

Adding more detail could seriously improve this story, although I do think it's still good as it is. I like your first chapter, it was probably my favourite.

I did notice a few grammar errors, but that;s easily fixed, Good story

First of all, I would like to talk about the summary. It's simple but at the same time it pulls me to know more into the story. It's good.

And on the first chapter, the intro on the year 1995, where you wrote Benedikte and Kirsten argued and then flashback to year 1984, I think that was brilliant.

However, as I read more, I think that the story is just too fast-paced. And the descriptions are too little. Everything just doesn't flow well and it seems like you're telling the story instead of showing the readers what is really happening. I find it hard to actually get into the story because everything happens just so fast.

I also notice a few tenses inconsistency but it can easily be fixed.

Other than that, I really think this story has a good background plot. I absolutely love stories about people losing themselves while chasing dreams.

Keep it up! ~(^_^)~

**Comment Swap**
So I like the layout! I think it fits your theme fairly well! The dialogue is decent, however maybe adding more descriptions would help the reader dive into the story more effectively! I only saw a few grammar errors, which can easily be fixed! Good story though!

Comment Swap

First off I really liked the layout. Love black and red together they work so well!

This story was different to band stories I have seen and read before and I enjoyed it quiet a bit. I've never heard of any of the bands in the story, which is nice for a little change. The description are well done, although every now and again the plot moves a little too quickly but other than that I've no faults. Great story :)

Comment swap!

This story is unique and very wonderful. I love the details you put into the descriptions of the characters (Especially Alva!) and how much dialogue you put into the story! I enjoyed it very much.

@ Beautiful Disguise
I just changed the beginning. I was starting at the present time then going to 1984 to tell the story. I do understand the confusion. Thank you for the comment.

Comment Swap:
I seriously love the plot and the idea for this story. This band idea sounds pretty cool and not alike most of the overplayed ideas. Benedikte and Kirsten seem like very interesting characters.
I also enjoy how Benedikte takes us back to when she first grew fond of music. Her narration kicks ass. The one thing I had a problem with the first chapter is that everything is all over the place. One instance Kirsten wanted to quit the band and it abruptly turns into her first experience to black metal. It needs a plausible transition from one time period to another.
Anyways, awesome plot line... I'm a sucker for them

Comment Swap:
I seriously love the plot and the idea for this story. This band idea sounds pretty cool and not alike most of the overplayed ideas. Benedikte and Kirsten seem like very interesting characters.
I also enjoy how Benedikte takes us back to when she first grew fond of music. Her narration kicks ass. The one thing I had a problem with the first chapter is that everything is all over the place. One instance Kirsten wanted to quit the band and it abruptly turns into her first experience to black metal. It needs a plausible transition from one time period to another.
Anyways, awesome plot line... I'm a sucker for them

Comment Swap brought me here! This story is really unique and unlike most other stories I've read on here. The first chapter is a bit confusing, but once I caught on it was really good! Keep up the good work!

I love the characters!! The names specially, are really innovative!

Comment Swap
So I really like your story :-) You have a good plot line and I love your characters. My one suggestion is you switch between 3rd person and 1st person. I would pick one and stick with it :)

Comment Swap

I'm not into stories like this at all, but I must admit that yours was much different than any other band story I have ever read. Of course, I do think the first chapter had been all over the place and it was hard to keep up. Also, I think some of your dialogue could have held more detail and/ explanations, your paragraphs could have been a bit more interesting too. Good luck!