Abyss - Comments

Layout:
The layout is absolutely amazing and it fits for this type of story. I like how the page's background is black and the banner shows a sad, maybe even thriller type of story. I'm gonna go read and see if I'm wrong.

Chapter 1/1:
And the worst part was not that she lost everything and everyone. That was nothing compared to the betrayal that accompanied her existence every second of every day.
I liked this part a lot.

It took hold of her entire being, concealing her within its hungry grasp, and she sank further into the dark, bottomless pit; into her sorrow-filled abyss.
I liked how you ended the chapter with this sentence. It had a good feel to it.

You have a good vocabulary here and you used it to your advantage along with the eerie feeling you managed to give to this drabble.

The narrator has obviously been through a lot and she had her own demons to handle, but don't we have them all?

This was totally realistic and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up writing sweets.

~Marian.

What a joyful story!

No but really, I liked this a lot. You have a great way of describing everything in this, and I like the variety of your words and how you use them. It was a very sort of symbolic kind of piece, in that everyone sort of has their "shadow" that sucks them in, right? That's what I got out of it.

Sorry for not doing this sooner! I completely forgot until the other day. Good job, beb.

I am judging for the contest :D And wow...how can there not be more comments for this?! Everything was described perfectly. Maybe I liked this story so much because I can relate to it, but it was still really well written and just perfect. I especially liked the seventh paragraph.
The length is good too; it's short but not too short. A story like this, in my opinion, should be short. I loved the layout - simple and easy to read. I think you're a great writer!
I don't think there's anything much that I dislike.

If you'd like to know what points you got, please message me. Check into the contest to see the winners soon! :)

Wow is all I could say...
And here I was, just randomly clicking onto stories, and then I managed to stumble across yours.

I must say, I really liked the flow and narration here. :) Like, it was sort of ominous, and it kept pulling me in. I also liked how you described things here. Especially the line "Her damaged heart gave a painful, tight squeeze as she thought about her past life" because for me, I can sorta relate to that 'tight squeeze'...

Oh, and the ending? I quite liked the ending and how it related back to the title (I love those in stories). And from the ending, I can't help but question her current mental state.

Ah. Okay, I think I should stop now...
-goes off to read other stories-