February 27th, 2011 at 09:04am
Okay this may sound bad, but I'm drunk att he moment so I might have to go back and re-read the new chapter. Since everything was blurred.
Lol.
But, from what I read and could comprehend, it was a very rageful and great chapter.
So I feel absolutely dreadful that I haven't commented in a bit. Last night as I was reading, I got about halfway through and my internet just cut out. It likes to do that to me occassionally. I guess you'll just be getting another ridiculously long comment to make up for it. again. Internet don't fail me now. And since I liked how I did my last comment, I will be going over every chapter with feedback on each, for your reading pleasure. :P
lorraine, just leave them alone
I really liked the scene between Corey and Mark here. As amused as I was by his humorous attempts at trying to be the stern father-figure before, this was much needed. It's nice to see him show the more protective side of his place as her father. Their talk about college reminds me of the night a year into my relationship with my husband (back when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend) and his step-dad wanted to have a talk with me in regards to Kyle joining the military...
Let's just say in comparison to our talk, Corey had it easy...
we've thought about it, obviously, but we haven't really discussed it
I think it's adorable that Trevor sings to Haley and that he made her that recording. When I was in high school all I wanted was a sweet guy with a pretty voicce to serenade me. Instead I got stuck with a slightly tone-deaf husband with a corny sense of humor and romanticism. I guess my mom and I go for the same kind of guys, cuz my Dad is just like that, haha!
The college thing is a serious issue though, and I'm glad you're tackling this. Most stories just end at graduation with no thoughts of what happens next, but you keep it real. I'm lovin' it. :P
eugene? really?
I adore Spike. If I personally had to pick any of the guys in this story to date, oh boy. It would be him in a heartbeat. I think the idea of him deciding to go through all the effort of making himself look presentable for this dinner for Haley and Trevor's sake is adorable. And Eugene? Classic. I can't for the life of me imagine what his real name could be, but Eugene is KILLIN' IT!! And gosh do I want Janice and Matt together. I think that now that Janice has been more accepted into the group as a friend instead of a nuissance she's becoming a better person and I think that a second shot at their relationship could work out much better than even they could imagine.
Most importantly with this chapter though is the conversation between Corey and his mother. I actually thought you did a pretty darn good job on it. It's hard to capture the feeling of a conversation like that sometimes, but you did it nicely. While he was tactless in his approach, it's just... it's so Corey. He probably should have talked to her ages ago about his applying to schools in the states, since that was something he was doing before him and Em became an item. That way his mother wouldn't be able to blame the relationship for Corey leaving home, but i'm sure she would have tied it back to Em eventually anyway.... mothers.
there's a sudden crack
This chapter had me laughing a ridiculous amount and my husband was looking at me like I was crazy half the time. The shit Spike says- and in such a calm manner- I can just imagine how funny that would be. I could never do that though. I didn't get the nickname "Little Miss Giggles" from my philosophy teacher for nothing. I honestly turn everything into a damn joke in my mind and burst out laughing at even just the slightest bit of humor. If i had been in that room with them I would have been on the floor, gasping for air as I hyperventilate from excessive laughter. No lie, my first family dinner with Kyle involved that's what happened...
And I'm super proud of Mrs. Waters. Mr. Waters is a douchebag, but Haley's mom is slowly starting to learn the priorities and duties of a mother, and I'm proud of her growth. I'm even prouder of Trevor, who even in an uncomfortable situation with an intimidating man, he stood up for his girl. That is the most important thing right there, and he gets double kudos for being an awesome boyfriend.
And this.... I love Mrs. Waters for sticking up to Trevor. (Yes, I know this sounds weird coming from the author, but a lot of times my characters just kind of do their own thing and I'm like "oh, well that's nice.") made me bust out the giggles too. I'm constantly thinking the same thing as I write. I only just started a story and already I've lost contol of what they do. I had something planned, but my main character changed the entire thing within the first couple paragraphs, the crafty little devil.
Can't wait to see what comes next!!! :)