Stranger - Comments

There's going to be more, right? THERE HAS TO BE MORE!!!
First story I've read by you since you came back from your Hiatus, and I love it.

It's odd because most mothers would be delighted to find out they have another child --let alone a girl-- but she didn't. Makes me kind of wonder is there's anything mentally wrong with her. Or if this is perfectly normal. Who knows?

Anyways, I felt bad for Emma and I didn't even get to read much about her! That's good.
Seeing the layout I thought Zac was going to be a girl. When I read that his name was Zac I was like, "Wait, what?".
But I got it! so it's ok.

So basically, your writing is amazing, and I lurb you!

:}

This first chapter was adorable. You really know how to portray a mother's reaction to missing her son. I can totally imagine my mom's voice on this woman--or even my grandma's voice. Which is so weird how down you have a mother. Your writing, is greaat the detail and the words such as 'incandescent' were superb with this setting. :] Great work dear. I'm subscribing.

Hi.
I love this story.

Ahah, no but really. I mean, once you mentioned "mother-years' you captured my heart. It's the first time I've ever heard it but I am totally in love with the term now, at how true it is. mother-years. :D

And I think it's cool how you really establish a relationship with the mom. It's so rare to find that, I think. People just barely even mention parents, and if they do it's probably some angsty sort of relationship like the dad beats them or whatever. I normal sort of relationship with the mom I think is cool. But the fact that it's sort of not what it appears to be I like even more, because everything's so... mysterious?

The fact that she hates Emma too, I think, just makes the story for me. I've never seen anything like that, a mom hating her daughter. But it's definitely why I think I love this story. It makes me wonder of like, WHAT'S NEXT? WILL SHE RANDOMLY APPEAR THIS EMMA?

I'll do an in-depth review, because I've got time.

Title: Stranger is always a good title. Specific, yet open-ended.

Layout: Beautiful. I love the colors and how they work with that gorgeous picture.

She opened the door smiling, standing in the cozy glow of incandescent light bulbs. It had been almost a year since I had seen my mother, a crime I had to confess. I should’ve visited her more often, should’ve been a better son. She forced her arms around me right there on the steps, it had been one hundred mother-years since she had seen my face and I could feel all of those years in her hug. She was reluctant to let go, but soon enough the bitter cold of the snow found its way to her.

I just got off the phone with my friend and we were talking about light blubs, so I chuckled at the first part. Also, that's some great imagry. 'Cozy glow.' I like that a lot. I like that this is from the point of view of a guy. Not a lot of girls on Mibba try that out and so far, you're doing great.

“Come in, come in, come in!” she said, ushering me through the front door and into the living room. She didn’t even give me time to remove my coat and shoes before she pushed me onto the couch. “Zac,” she sighed, “I missed you so much.” She said, taking her seat beside me.

I like this mother. She seems like the classic mom -- forgiving of her children, no matter what they've done to her. You endeared me to her right away.

“I missed you too, Mom.” I smiled, removing my gloves.

“How’s your father,” she asked, curiosity leaking into her eyes, “why didn’t he come with you?”

“He’s doing well, still teaching music at the high school. He’s at home, with Emma.”

“Do not mention that girl.” My mother’s tone turned cold, as if my sister’s name was some sort of curse. “She stole your father from me.”

This is great, seriously. I love the sudden change -- she went from this sweet women to a cold, bitter one, just like that, and the change was made flawlessly.

When Emma was born she was a surprise. Countless ultrasounds with the same results, one baby, a boy. When they entered the delivery room and a second child, a girl, was born, it was like something went incredibly wrong. The doctors said this happened a lot with fraternal twins. Disassociation. My mother knew I was her son, and she loved be as such, but Emma was just some stranger to her. Emma was a girl who invaded her home and captured her husband’s attention, my mother‘s heart held no love for Emma. No one understood it, especially not Emma.

I've never heard of this before, this happening with twins. This is incredibly interesting and I'm really digging it.

“She’s your daughter,” I reminded her, but that was something she would never believe.

“No, she’s not.” For a moment I thought about arguing it out, forcing my mother to believe the truth. It had been seventeen years since Emma and I were born, it was clear that my mother would never accept that fact.

How odd! A mother not loving her child. I just can't comprehend. You're doing a great job of getting emotions and ideas out with few words.

“I love you, Mom.” I said, giving a small smile.

“I love you too, Zac.”

Sort of an odd ending. It makes me wonder if maybe Zac wants his mother to love him more. You really got me thinking here.

Great job!

This has got an interesting storyline. The title pulled me in. x3
The summary was interesting. I thought, "Ohai, maybe the kid is adopted?"
I also liked the first chapter. <3

Excellent job. ^.^

9/10 - I thought the concept was good. I just didn't feel you like I could in stories like "Never Grow Up".

At first, I thought this was going to be about a transgender teen. I was way wrong.

I love your writing, your words are so beautiful. I've been waiting so long for you to come back and you have yet to disappoint me. I love you so much and I love the whole idea behind this. It's confusing but so beautiful.

Good job!

I love this x]
it makes me wander, because I can't understand how a Mother can't love her child, what's going on. So I want to read more and more... Which means post more ;D
I love the layout too by the way, it's gorgeous!

I absolutely love this layout and the combo is has with the picture
you're a very talented layout maker :) wish I could do that!
aww he hasn't seen his mom in a year, that's not good :(
wait, so Emma is her child, yet seh doesn't like her?
that's a little odd on a mothers part. I'm curious to know why she doesn't lik her
this was a very cute and good first chapter :)
I like the relationship between Zac and his mother,
even though they haven't seen each other in a long time
this is a good idea, though I do not know where it could be going
anyway, this was really good! ;D

First of all, I would like to say that I love the layout and the picture. They are both beautiful. I also really liked the summery. It was short, but I like that about it. It doesn't really reveal too much about the story. That girl is not my daughter. That short sentence really got me wondering what the story is about.

The doctors said this happened a lot with fraternal twins. I really like this sentence because it is something I did not know. I didn't know it could happen to someone -- thank goodness it didn't happen with my brother and I for we are fraternal twins... I like the explanation about Emma and Zac and how her mother didn't love Emma like she loved Zac. I really like this story; the first chapter is interesting. I am subscribing.

So, I'm in love with the layout, your words are a little small, I had to zoom in on the text, but I'm blind so it could just be me. Alright, so your descriptions are wonderful and I was definitely surprised by the turn of events. I had no idea something like that could happen with twins. I mean, I know that sometimes one baby can hide the other and no one would know it was there, but wow, not believing its your own daughter. How crazy. This was wonderful and surprising.