Chapter One: Amazing detail and, of course, interesting. Wouldn't expect less of you ^.^ But this Randall guy sure puts the spin on this story right from the get-go. Love that ^.^ Can't wait to get to the next chapter, haha(:
Chapter Two: I love the comparison and tie in where you put that she struck out on her own at age 18 like all of the other people, but it was in a different manner. Very clever ^.^ And taking from what Zalion25 said above, and from reading, I suppose she can control electronics by cracking her neck? And her eye... her blind eye like the lens of a camera? So popping her wrists, neck, and stuff makes her a mechanical being all in her own, almost. She's human, but after those alterations by Koda, she's a mechanic with all the tools built in, kind of. Very awesome concept. Unique and creative. Kudos, love! :D *never would have thought of that* lmao(: And Randall, Randall, Randall... I like his character ^.^
Chapter Three: I figured they would do something to Mary. She seems close to her <3 But anywhoo, I like how you've created Randall, but now I'm starting to dislike Randall. Or rather his boss, grrr. Merc should totally kick their asses. *nodnod* But emm... anywhoo, lmao(x An amazing filler chapter :D The calm before the storm? Eh? :D But anywhoo, it makes me wonder, who the "Boss" wants killed, and everything. Plus, not only that... *out of context, random thinking* Merc's hell-bent on not killing anyone. She's concerned with God which really reels me in for another loop since she's been in thievery for so long. It makes you think that just because someone who has been labelled "BAD" by society because of their criminal deeds, doesn't mean that they don't believe or are against them or what not. They do have 'some' morals, I guess. But pretteh good(: Makin' me think, chica-doodle~!! Lol(:
Chapter Four: Yeyy~!! :D You're in college? :D Is it fun? Much different? .. scary O.O *imagines that college would be scary* But anyways~! Holy shitnit. This chapter was amazing. It explained so much, but you did it with flair, gurl ;) I love how you brought Koda back into this because after I clicked the Characters thingy up by the Summary and Comments, I fell in love with his charrie <3 Not in-love, in-love, but cha get my drift (: I thought he was cool ^.^ But emm.. okay, back on track xDD Interesting like I said, how you tied everything in. How Jackson is the Boss-man's son, and how Merc really has no choice to leave because yeah, that is what is most important to her. It's been her whole life/being since the age of 18, so that was an awesome chapter, love~! :D
Chapter Five: Wow, just wow. I love the insight that you have given us from Randall. It was simply amaaazing~ *is a helpless romantic* Bahhh *beats down those feelings* xD I feel like such a girl, but anyway. I really, really like how at first, you put how the two interacted with one another before you did the flashback in Randall's point of view. It just.. fits. <3 I love this chapter(: My favourite so far ^.^
Chapter Six: I LOVE KODA <33 He's like the daddy Merc never had, kind of <3 Even if he is a mad scientist ^.^ Lmao. Randall.. I'm iffy on him. And Jackson Senior should be burned and chopped to bits to be fed to the hogs--his family. >D But *coughcough* uhh.... o.o Anyway... I feel for Merc. She has to choose between life and something that she has been against since whenever she was born xD (I guess) But honestly, I don't know what she should do :S Because even if she did say yes, who's to say that Jack-ass Senior won't hold that as blackmail for the rest of her life Dx But anywhoo~ So sad it's over for now. Update soon?? <3
Pretty awesome. So what's up with Merc cracking her neck again? Is that when she zooms into things? Nice description of Jackson. Please keep writing... :)
Chapter Two: I love the comparison and tie in where you put that she struck out on her own at age 18 like all of the other people, but it was in a different manner. Very clever ^.^ And taking from what Zalion25 said above, and from reading, I suppose she can control electronics by cracking her neck? And her eye... her blind eye like the lens of a camera? So popping her wrists, neck, and stuff makes her a mechanical being all in her own, almost. She's human, but after those alterations by Koda, she's a mechanic with all the tools built in, kind of. Very awesome concept. Unique and creative. Kudos, love! :D *never would have thought of that* lmao(: And Randall, Randall, Randall... I like his character ^.^
Chapter Three: I figured they would do something to Mary. She seems close to her <3 But anywhoo, I like how you've created Randall, but now I'm starting to dislike Randall. Or rather his boss, grrr. Merc should totally kick their asses. *nodnod* But emm... anywhoo, lmao(x An amazing filler chapter :D The calm before the storm? Eh? :D But anywhoo, it makes me wonder, who the "Boss" wants killed, and everything. Plus, not only that... *out of context, random thinking* Merc's hell-bent on not killing anyone. She's concerned with God which really reels me in for another loop since she's been in thievery for so long. It makes you think that just because someone who has been labelled "BAD" by society because of their criminal deeds, doesn't mean that they don't believe or are against them or what not. They do have 'some' morals, I guess. But pretteh good(: Makin' me think, chica-doodle~!! Lol(:
Chapter Four: Yeyy~!! :D You're in college? :D Is it fun? Much different? .. scary O.O *imagines that college would be scary* But anyways~! Holy shitnit. This chapter was amazing. It explained so much, but you did it with flair, gurl ;) I love how you brought Koda back into this because after I clicked the Characters thingy up by the Summary and Comments, I fell in love with his charrie <3 Not in-love, in-love, but cha get my drift (: I thought he was cool ^.^
But emm.. okay, back on track xDD Interesting like I said, how you tied everything in. How Jackson is the Boss-man's son, and how Merc really has no choice to leave because yeah, that is what is most important to her. It's been her whole life/being since the age of 18, so that was an awesome chapter, love~! :D
Chapter Five: Wow, just wow. I love the insight that you have given us from Randall. It was simply amaaazing~ *is a helpless romantic* Bahhh *beats down those feelings* xD I feel like such a girl, but anyway. I really, really like how at first, you put how the two interacted with one another before you did the flashback in Randall's point of view. It just.. fits. <3 I love this chapter(: My favourite so far ^.^
Chapter Six: I LOVE KODA <33 He's like the daddy Merc never had, kind of <3 Even if he is a mad scientist ^.^ Lmao. Randall.. I'm iffy on him. And Jackson Senior should be burned and chopped to bits to be fed to the hogs--his family. >D But *coughcough* uhh.... o.o Anyway... I feel for Merc. She has to choose between life and something that she has been against since whenever she was born xD (I guess) But honestly, I don't know what she should do :S Because even if she did say yes, who's to say that Jack-ass Senior won't hold that as blackmail for the rest of her life Dx But anywhoo~ So sad it's over for now. Update soon?? <3
Love, xxxchicaxxx <333