I'm going to start off from the top. Truthfully, the layout is not my favorite as a reader. The combination of the bright blue color and the text color hurts my eyes a bit, and is a bit distracting to the story. And the summary was a bit scattered, from the little scientific definition to the picture links (one of them doesn't work, by the way) and to the vague blurb of what this story was about. I really didn't get much sense of what this story was going to hold. Am I reading a tragedy of loss or heartbreak? Am I reading a self-discovery adventure?
So onto the chapter. I must say, things did get much better with the writing. I did get a little bit of history on the character, but she's still a mystery. But this was good. It was enough to stir my interest without just telling me everything and spoiling the story.
After the first chapter though I still have no idea what direction this story is heading. That's not a bad thing at all; I kinda like the unpredictable, surprise around the corner type stories. I think you do that well in your writing, keeping the information limited but let out enough to bait the readers. I really am intrigued. Another thing to commend is the lack of spelling errors. At least I didn't catch any; it made the reading smoother to read.
As I red through the chapters, I started to really like the almost laid back freedom of the situation the characters are in. I almost envy them. I wish I could just pack a few of my things and go anywhere the road takes me. I think it would be thrilling. One more note...when I got to the third chapter, I was confused. It took me a few rows to realize this was now in a different POV. Maybe just make a note up top of the chapter that says something like ~Jones' POV~ or something. Otherwise, I liked the chapter.
With the reading done I can definitely say that the layout doesn't do your story justice. You write so beautifully, the layout should compliment the story!
I'm going to start off from the top. Truthfully, the layout is not my favorite as a reader. The combination of the bright blue color and the text color hurts my eyes a bit, and is a bit distracting to the story. And the summary was a bit scattered, from the little scientific definition to the picture links (one of them doesn't work, by the way) and to the vague blurb of what this story was about. I really didn't get much sense of what this story was going to hold. Am I reading a tragedy of loss or heartbreak? Am I reading a self-discovery adventure?
So onto the chapter. I must say, things did get much better with the writing. I did get a little bit of history on the character, but she's still a mystery. But this was good. It was enough to stir my interest without just telling me everything and spoiling the story.
After the first chapter though I still have no idea what direction this story is heading. That's not a bad thing at all; I kinda like the unpredictable, surprise around the corner type stories. I think you do that well in your writing, keeping the information limited but let out enough to bait the readers. I really am intrigued.
Another thing to commend is the lack of spelling errors. At least I didn't catch any; it made the reading smoother to read.
As I red through the chapters, I started to really like the almost laid back freedom of the situation the characters are in. I almost envy them. I wish I could just pack a few of my things and go anywhere the road takes me. I think it would be thrilling.
One more note...when I got to the third chapter, I was confused. It took me a few rows to realize this was now in a different POV. Maybe just make a note up top of the chapter that says something like ~Jones' POV~ or something. Otherwise, I liked the chapter.
With the reading done I can definitely say that the layout doesn't do your story justice. You write so beautifully, the layout should compliment the story!
Curious to see where this story is headed! =D