After the Sun - Comments

Okay so you update so well that I want to marry you or do something much naughtier. And the chapter was full of my baby, which I love. And I'm going to be the stronger woman and allow Annabelle to have Noah, even though it breaks my heart. Because Jacob is such a douche and even though she loves him she needs to end up with Noah. I'll stop dictating your story now. Righteo. Onto the real comment. For your first chapter that hasn't been re-written, it's absolutely perfect and fits in with the tone of the rest of the story. It all has a dark, eerie aura surrounded it, which is just gaaah. I love how you stick to your character's traits very well and how you're slowly letting as learn more about Noah and what the real him is like. That dream/nightmare chapter messed with my mind. It was awesome. Keep being awesome. That is all.

oh my god, I'm so scared!
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO THEM.
Noah's in love with Annie.
I just know it. my gut feeling.
please update soon :c

oh my god.
this chapter made me feel so sad ):
I feel like there's a part of Jacob that's still alive, in a sense. Annie's Jacob, you know what I mean?
please update soon!

Just started reading and subscribed! Update soon please :]

OH MY GOD
I HATE JACOB SO MUCH.
AKLSDHCLKAJBHSLKDFHldjkf;lSDJKF;Lsdj;flK
grr.
Noah's the right guy, monster, whatever he is, for her!
please update soon c:

So, firstly, I love the banner and it fits well with the story. The concept is something different then I've ever read, but it keeps me interested which is a good thing. The contrast between Noah and Jacob makes the plot even more entrapping. The idea of the world turned into chaos is something that can sometimes, when written, turn out horridly, but you write it well. The building smelled of must and mold, and I could only just make out white sheets cthat covered furnishings. You put a 'c' in front of 'that', by the way. The part when she says that the thought of Noah dying and her being alone in that world was something I liked, because I don't think I'd like to be alone in that world either.(:

Great Job, overall. (:

I really like this. :) The layout is very pretty. I like how the banners contrast to the background. The background has such a light sense to it while the banners give it a darker sense. It's easy to read which is good. I like how you made the reference to the Mayans in the summary. The summary overall was lengthy, but it fit well. It wasn't boring. I like the idea of the apocalypse being the sun dying, and also the disease.

Very creative and unique. This is amazing and well written. Good job so far!

You updated!

:)

Half of me is hoping that she'll just run away with Jacob; get turned into a vampire, have lots of vampire sex and consequently, millions of vampire babies.

DO SOMETHING CRAZY ANNABELLE! RUN AWAY WITH HIM! :3

When did you add that summary? Because it honestly blew me away. Your wording was just perfect and it explained so much, and I seriously think that if you submitted that alone to a publisher they'd be interested in publishing this as a book. It was all so poetic and gaaah. Okay, I'll start commenting on the actual chapter now lmfao.

The chapter was amazing. I love how swiftly the plot moves; it's as though you have to be concentrating fully to catch everything that's happening. It's clever the way she describes the creatures as things she can relate to from her childhood, or from stories she'd heard before she knew it was reality. The ending was fantastic and I can only hope that my dear Noah is okay! And that bloody Jacob keeps his hands off her lmfao. XD

This is amazing.

I actually forgot I was subscribed to this story I think when I first subbed there wasn't that much up but I remembered why and how much I liked this and I read straight through till chapter 4. (Only stopped cause I g2g soon)

There are a few reasons I really like this. It's written like an actual novel and it's not overly simplified like how most stories are on here. You're not afraid to use big language and you know how to do it swiftly as in you're not just saying it to say it but it actually flows in to the ideas you are communicating. The other thing about this is that this is truly original like perhaps some of the ideas have of course been toyed with by others but you have a genuinely new twist on everything and that's really what pulls it together. In short not only do you have a good idea but you are telling it very well.

I have yet to ind something I dislike abut it.

Jacob is really freaking me out.
I can't even explain how weird he is.
BUT UGH. WHY CAN'T SHE JUST LET NOAH IN
AND THEY CAN LOVE EACH OTHER
and ugh.
please update soon. c:

Okay, I didn't read the whole thing because I'm already putting off cleaning house because I'm so lazy its pathetically. But I read the first chapter and I must say that I am impressed.

This idea is so original and unique that I'm jelly that I didn't think of it. It's so hard to find a good story on Mibs, let alone a good, original one with a likable lead character that when you find one its like CA-CHING. So, um:

CA-CHING. And stuff.:3

The layout alone is drool worthy as well. Again, I'm jealous. JEALOUS.

Can you share your talent please? It's not fair to keep that much to yourself. Did your mom not teach you to share?!

Love it. Fav part of this chapter:

Yet, when my mom stares outside at the moon—that moon that never wavers—and cries. I can feel what she misses. I know why she cries and I wish that I could cry with her. But instead, I just let her be until the tears run dry and she falls asleep curled in a ball.

SO SAD.

I'm subbing, so you know. Shall review again later.(:

Okay, so I am kind of stuck with time so I just read the first chapter-
But this is awesome. I.could already tell. First off, zombies are badarse. And I like the way you had it set up, like without the sun and such a different world thhan we are in. Plus, I like le main character already. Like I said, kind of busy, but I am definitely catching up on this soon!

I feel awful that it's taken me so long to read this.
I remember you beginning to re-write it - I think I even made you a banner for one of the original chapters - but wow. I'm so glad I've read this.
It's absolutely superb. The first-person narration is wonderfully done, and doesn't seem self-absorbed like first-person narration usually does (I went to the bathroom and I thought I looked awful blah blah blah), because Annie doesn't focus on just herself, but on everyone and every thing.
Of course, it was a mistake bringing Noah back and seeing Jacob again, but without that, there'd be no story. I love this take on both the vampires and the apocalypse, and I think it's perfect.
The layout and chapter headers are wonderful (and I sit here wishing I had that talent) and I'm definitely going to keep reading this. It's amazing.

Was this death? Was this the in-between? I've used a line similar to that in one of my original stories.

The two of us entwined on my bed as we watched movies when the sun still lived high in the sky and monsters were figments of our imaginations. - This line in chapter nine seemed to contradict what Annie was like in the first few chapters; her barely remembering the sun any more because she was still so young/not yet born when the world darkened. I don't know. It seemed like something I should mention.

Oh god. What's going on? There's cloaked figures and an evil Jonathon? What about her mother?!! Must know. Must know. Must know.

So, this story is pretty amazing. I couldn't help but think of "The Priest while reading it, and I'm happy that you made it original. I'm sick of vampire stories where the guy is just a misunderstood monster and all that. Also, I couldn't find any grammar mistakes (ok, in all honestly, I wasn't looking for any) so I can't be as constructive as you'd probably like.

An update would be very much appreciated. *hint/hint*

I've only just started this but I pretty much love it. You describe things so beautifully and the whole idea is fascinating.(:

This certainly is an odd concept and I'm a little intrigued by it. I want to know what exactly happened that made the sun burn out or whatever happened to it to make it disappear. I also think it's pretty cool that they have UV chambers or whatever to give them the nutrients they need. I can't tell exactly what they are yet - I'm guessing vampires or some sun-lacking-mutated humans? Whatever they are, I think I'll keep reading.

I only caught one mistake in this chapter:
Yet, when my mom stares outside at the moon—that moon that never wavers—and cries. I can feel what she misses.

I feel like that first period should be a comma. Other than that, no mistakes!

So I remembered that you'd mentioned that this was up, so I took a break from my studying -- lmfao as if, more like procrastinating -- to read it. And I am devastated that there are only 11 chapters up, because as I read through all of them I started to remember just how much I loved this story before and why the reasons for that were. This story is just so simple but descriptive at the same time, because it's as though you describe everything without giving much away, and it's just so clever because you know that it's going to come soon. I feel as though I have to read every sentence carefully in case there's another meaning, and because it's just so poetic. I love everything to do with the sun, as I've mentioned before, because it's a central part of your story without dominating it.

Love this to pieces. LOVE NOAH AND HE IS MINE SO BACK OFF PEOPLE. You are a brilliant writer in every way and I cannot wait for another chapter. All of the changes are perfect and it's even better than it was before now. I love the new bits with Jacob. So good. XD

The layout was nice and readable, not a big fan of the banners though. They look too busy.

First off, I love how this started. Post-apocalyptic type stories are really easy to mess up, but I think you handled it perfectly. I really liked the idea that the sun had burnt out, and now everyone was forced to live with UV lights for nutrients. It's definitely interesting, and then you throw in Crawlers and Silvers, and the whole thing gets even better. You have the perfect balance of giving exposition and leaving enough wonder that the audience wants to keep reading to piece everything together.

Although Annabelle is a good character, I feel like her voice is a bit too mature. The first point of view is kind of hard to master because if you give too much description it ruins the voice. Noah, though, had to be my favorite. I wish they had left the village before Jacob got back! I can't wait to see where you take his character.

All in all this was a really great story.