The Boy with the Protest Sign - Comments

@ gypsy warrior
Sorry, this is a oneshot. There was never meant to be anymore. It's a snapshot piece.

Please update this, or post something, or write anything, like I would probably read your grocery list if you posted it on here. Like, all your writing is fantastic, but I really love your fanfictions, and I totally get if your done with this scene, but I neED CLOSURE

This is such s beautiful story!! I wish there was more of this. It's just wow :)

Again, I love your writing! This story seemed so simple, yet so complex. Your style is so fluid and poetic. There was just the right amount of detail. I don't actually know any of the bands you have written about, but I feel like I don't have to know them. You do a great job at bringing out the character through their speech and actions. The story made me wonder, if I was in Ryan's shoes, what would I do? And I couldn't help but wonder if I would be bold enough to actually go out and spend the entire evening with Brendon. I'm just an antisocial person x) haha But I loved the beginning, middle, and ending! I wish I could write like this! Jealousyyyyyyy. :)

This story is simply amazing. It was so lovely and well written it made me want to hug the crap out of my computer screen. I love the fact that there were five different bands featured in the story. I always appreciate when there's more than one. Your spelling and grammar was near perfect. If there was any faults I couldn't find them. I love how easily this story flowed. It made it very easy and enjoyable to read. The banner was really cool and the use of a character page is always a nice touch. The way you ended this story, with a verse from the bible, was seriously the best ending to a story I have seen in quite a while. I also really liked the fact that it was very much a closed ending. It could still go somewhere else but it really doesn't need to. A few of my favourite parts:

The people across the street were yelling, chanting, but the boy just smiled.
I really like the fact that he didn't try and hurl insults back at them. It's a nice touch.

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong . . ."
I had a bit of a giggle when reading this. It really amused me that he took their own words in a sense and threw them right back at the haters.

"'For God so loved the world,'" he repeated, emphasis on the last two words. He stared directly at the group of protestors and this time his voice was harsh. "Fags included."
For me, this is the line that truly solidifies the point of the contest in this story. It's a really great line that once again uses their own words against them. Very clever and very well written.

Brendon's eyes locked on Ryan's, almost possessed. "Every fucking day." he answered, voice constricted. "And that's exactly why I do it."
I really love it when a character is brave enough to admit that they're scared to another person. Often times it is just internalised so it's nice to see it out in the open.

'There's no way,' Brendon overheard his father say to his mother one night, 'that a loving God wouldn't want him to be happy. I can't believe in that.'
I have to say that this is by far one of the best views on homosexuality that I have ever read in a story. It's very mature and very well thought out.

"If you get souvenirs like that, sign me up for the next one."
I burst out laughing as soon as I read that. It just seems like such an Alex thing to say.

"I guess," he said finally, "I just wanted you to know that you're not alone."
Very touching.

"We shouldn't have to worry about coming out or holding hands on the street. And I'll do what I can so it changes and one day people won't have to worry."
Very well put.

Overall I really loved this story. It was very fluffy and very cute and I just wanted to give Ryan the biggest hug imaginable. Extra kudos to you for using the WBC as your inspiration. Good luck in the contest.

Seriously gorgeous....

I can't believe I just found this story now. It was amazing. I go to Catholic school and I feel like that's actually pretty accurate. The whole "love the gays, but don't give them rights" thing is actually really annoying.

Anyways, I loved loved loved this story. Your writing is amazing. This story was beautiful.

Let me correct that. The quote I am refering to is "Fuck. No wonder you feel so guilty."

Amen, sister.

The only comment I have is about when Ryan said he went to Catholic school, and then Brendon was like, "Oh god."

I'm Catholic. What's the problem? I really have no idea. I just know that the policy towards homosexuality is to practice chasity. Unfortunately. But why, "Oh God, no wonder you're so scared?" I don't get it. That's why I'm asking.

I love Brendon's simple solution to the protestors. Protest the protesters. LOVE it.

This might be the best story on here O_O
Great job!

Brilliant, as I’ve come to expect from your stories.

The banner is quite different from your other stories. It’s more a mash up of pictures than anything, but it does get the message across. It makes me sad to think that there are too many people in the world like those protesters and not nearly enough like Brendon.

I’ve gotten into your writing by your nc-17 stories, but the pg rated ones are just as beautiful, if not more. And this is a perfect example of that. You have this way with words that I am very jealous of. Your choice of words may not be the most eloquent one, but these simple words are able to perfectly portray what you are talking about.

Overall, very very nicely done! I’m a fan.

Ryan simple leaned in and pressed his lips against Brendon's, soft as a whisper.

Ryan simply leaned in and pressed his lips against Brendon's, soft as a whisper.

Other than that it was flawless and I loved it! Although the error in which I found this paragraph, the way the one-shot ends is absurd and a little half-assed compared to the rest of the story.But I really like this, I enjoyed it.

This was beautiful. I'm a queer and I go to a safe school and no one harasses me, but I know that the real world isn't like that. This was ... amazing for me to read because it really touched me personally. He does because he's scared. Maybe, one day, I will learn to to do the same. Thank you.

Oh this was amazing! I've been browsing forums and I've come across this story in the reccing thread, and the title really caught my eye so I decided to read the story - and good thing I did.

I have to say, I really loved the title itself more than the story. I don't know if this sounds weird, or if it even makes sense, but there's something about the title that hints and promises so much to me. There is so many possibilities and I couldn't wait to read the story to see what you chose to reveal. Don't get me wrong, I loved the story itself too (I will get to that), but the title. Yeah. (I also liked the banner, except for the title written on it.)

I like how your stories are always... simple in a way. You pick difficult topics, and pull them off, and use simple words and simple sentences. You know what I mean? I just like your style. It's somehow... to the point? Whatever topic, you get straight to the point, pulling the reader in the story. At least that's how your stories work for me. And I love that you never overdo it. No matter what you write about, it's never pathetic and cliche (at least, not in the stories I have read).

Ryan stared transfixed as a boy he vaguely recognized from his music appreciation class crossed the street and unfolded a sign which read 'Jesus Loves Me This I Know' in rainbow colored letters. This is an amazing opening line. It promises things are going to happen in the story; the reader can take his guess at what exactly. I like to guess what is going to happen in stories and then see if I was right or wrong.

Did I mention I like the realism of the story? It's the little details, like Brendon's parents supporting him, or the gay characters being so... varied (I dislike when all gay characters are flamboyant and girly), or the protest. Also, the dialogues flow really well. There wasn't a moment when I'd thought it sounded weird.

I adore Will in this. Seriously. he must be my favourite character of the story. Just the few sentences you wrote about him, what he said, I just got this vibe from him that I instantly loved. I got a very clear image of him. I wish you'd write a story centered more on him, because the way he was in the story.

And a tiny bit of negativism at the end. "Not right now." Ryan said with a smile. He buried his face in Brendon's neck, feeling as safe as a lullaby.
Eventually, the spell broke and Ryan followed Brendon out the balcony where the latter lit a joint. I found this moment a little awkward. I'm not sure why, it just felt... well, awkward. The transition.

But otherwise, I have no criticism. It's a beautiful story that I really felt could have happened, or happened. Amazing.

Your layouts are always so gorgeous. They're simple but they just look so beautiful. I'm quite envious, to be honest. The summary was very eye-catching; there was no way I could pass this story up once I'd read that opening paragraph.

Before we even know who Brendon is, you've developed his character so well. The same goes for Ryan's; he's so adorable and shy and I loved how he was so nervous when he was trying to talk to Brendon. I couldn't help but laugh when he just blurted out that he was gay; I could just picture that moment perfectly.

That flashback was incorporated perfectly; it didn't seem out of place or random, like some flashbacks do. I could see Brendon gazing off into the distance when he remembered that image. The thing I love about your stories, even though I've only read a few, is that they just seem so realistic. Every line of dialogue sounds like it would actually come out of someone's mouth and every action seems realistic. In a story, that can be incredibly hard to achieve but you've mastered it.

I like how Brendon's parents were religious but still supported homosexuality. I've never seen this in a story; it's always religious people hate gays, always. That little detail just made this entire story seem that much more realistic.

"Are you, like, the gay orientation spokesperson?" I have no idea why but that line made me laugh, in a good way.

This was beautiful. Completely and utterly beautiful. You developed their relationship so well over the entire story and I just wanted to cheer when they kissed. It is stories like this that give me a little bit of hope, that make me feel like there's true love somewhere in the world. I know this comment pales in comparison to some of the ones above me but seriously: never stop writing.

The banner really amuses me. I mean, there's the ridiculous things, the loving things, and then the sort of funny Fuck This Guy. It's definitely got me a good idea of what's going to play into the story , I'd think.

I feel like these are the WBC people, honestly. They remind me of the people, and then those who are so entirely against the WBC and accepting and that's sort of what Brendon is in this. He's a voice for the gays and a believer and I absolutely love that so far. It works with the type of person he is, too- he would be the one who'd try to get under protester's skins by throwing religion sort of back in their facees. For the story, presumably he's a Christian/Mormon gay man, and how he's got Ryan all on him regardless of the fact that Ryan isn't religious is just working.

I like the character of the girl, though I'm assuming she's only a temporary person. It's like she and Brendon are sort of speaking for Ryan and he knows it though they don't, the way I'm reading it.

Nice divider, by the way.

Ryan's like a little nervous schoolboy and Brendon is sort of a badass. I admit, Ryan does seem like a little bit of a creeper for following Brendon out - for some reason, I can picture this all too perfectly in my head. Really, I can

The way it was handled with Ryan's confession is sort of realistic- he's fearing rejection and he's terrified that he admitted that, and yet Brendon is just sorta insta!accepting. The description of the way Brendon calms Ryan is just... hnng. I love it; I'm assuming he had something similar to a panic attack?

The flashback works so nicely, going hand in hand with what Ryan asked. I love how you can take phrases like "lost in thought," which is so overused nowadays, and have it read like something entirely new. It's so Dru, really; you take things and make them cool. I mean, look at Panic!

I like how Brendon has accepting parents in this. I've read stories where Brendon has a passionate hate for his parents, and I've only come across a few where he actually seems to like them and they seem to accept him. I feel like the comment about the puppies is sort of referring to the one story you wrote where everyone called Ryan puppy, maybe I'm just crazy, thuogh.

I'm curious as to what these two boys are going to be getting up to- should be interesting. Brendon's lie is sort of adorable, I dunno.

AWWWWWW HE CALLED RYAN BEAUTIFUL~ Though both of them are very pretty boys. Gabe amuses me, always and forever. I like how casually you throw in the guys from FBR. I think OCs wouldn't work as well in this sort of writing- you need people who you know that irl are related in some way.

lol at the girl/period remark. I just laughed my ass off, Dru.

Will is all sorts of awesome. The ending is all sorts of awesome. The party scene and how this takes place all in one day is making me fall in love a little bit. You're a painter with words Dru- I hope to own books by you someday.

Banner

I like the way your banner is set up and tells you what the story is about.

Layout

The layout is nice, simple to read, good for a one-shot but I wished there was more color.

Summary

I like the summary, just enough to pull you in but it doesn't give to much.

The AU part I would take out though because it suggest a world that being gay is a sin in and in this one it isn't.

Story

The first part was good, descriptive but not overly so.

There was some confusion in what side the protesters were on and what side Brendon was on but that might've just been the way I read it.

Very little grammatical and spelling errors if any.

The characters are wonderful, well rounded, but I must say they are just a bit to stereo-typically gay.

There was no color on his face and suddenly he could hear his heart pounding in his ears, the sound of a car door shutting.

The last few words are kinda awkward, like there should be a a semi-colon or and.

Really there isn't much t critic because it's obvious that you went through hard work writing, and editing this.

The only thing I have a problem with is your characters, but that's a personal problem.

I know absolutely nothing about these people in these stories but I have seen them around and this story just made me want to read as many as possible. It thought this was absolutely fantastic. I actually kinda wish I was one of those guys lol you did an amazing job!

I love this, Dru.
Wow, what a surprise, huh? XD

Brendon's character was really amazing. He was almost otherworldly, it seemed to me. He danced through the story without his feet really touching the ground and he possessed some kind of dream-like quality where he was and was not human at the same time. Those are the vibes I'm getting, anyhow. I'm just typing what came to my mind as I read the story, so it probably won't make sense as I tend not to backspace to try and reword things.

I adored Ryan's character. He was just the sweetest thing. I love how he seemed almost too shy to socialise, and how Brendon was slowly bringing him out. The panic attack he had when he told Brendon he was gay was just the sweetest thing, tbh. I teared up a little bit. :') It's also sweet that Brendon was the first person he told and that he wasn't a total asshole to him. Their dialogue was really precious together. <3

And omg, when I saw the verse at the end I wanted to burst into tears because it's so true. I'm so fucking sick of all the "God Hates Fags" and Westboro Baptist shit. Westboro Baptist needs to be struck with lightning or something. They are truly horrible. And this was a perfect rebuttal to everything that's going on with them.

Wonderful job.~

I'm not going to make this a super long comment because you already know how much I like your writing. I love this story so much. It's something I can relate to and deals with topics I feel passionate about as someone who's gay. I love the protestors and how Brendon is so confident and how he helps Ryan through his coming out. This story really hit home for me and by the time it ended I was literally on the edge of tears. I absolutley adored it. It was amazing as is all of your work.