Hollywood Bound - Comments

Hey! Just to let you know, I really appreciated your original characters. They were all very distinct; Maxx is horny, as is Riley, Alina is hard-core and the main character is doubtful and indecisive. You set up their characters to concoct a perfect plot cycle, and I commend you for that. However the actions your characters take part in are a little less telling and quite unnecessary. There were so many bitten lips in that story I almost bit my lip; sometimes, bad habits can be accentuated, but this was so commonplace it just got irritating. Your dialogue was good but a little unrealistic; I think the guys would be trying a little harder to be suave around their sexy best friend, and the girl might be a little more resistant. Anyway, I like the premise and your writing is pretty solid. Keep it up! I venture that Dylan left the band for hollywood, that or commit suicide. Can't wait to find out which!

i love this story it's freaking amazing!!!!

Even before I began reading, I was turned away by the layout of this story. It was difficult to read unless you switched to the default - which I did. I hope I'm not coming off as rude - it's not what I intended at all - but I felt this should be said.

Now, onto the story. C:

The intro was very nice. I like how it's very movie-esque, as in I could picture this miss Max typing this up, while her throughts are all somehow loud enough for the audience to hear and get the picture of what's going on.

Dylan, you haven't left our minds.

Well, that's not something I expected in the very first chapter, aha. I'm curious as to what happened to this boy? He seems important to everyone from those reactions.

Anyways, this was nice. Perhaps a bit more detail and a more readable layout? That's all the constructive criticsim I can offer. I hope I didn't come off as rude. I really did enjoy reading this. (: