From the Mouths of Babes - Comments

This is very poetic :)
And deep.

I adore it when things are written in second person, I feel as if I've literally leaped into a world all my own. And this world you've described, where no one dies or fights, it sounds incredible. It's absolutely dream-worthy and beautiful. I'm not even sure if I can describe how much I truly adore this; there's so much emotion and so much to question, so much that leaves me thinking. It's gorgeous, really. (:

First, I'm so sorry this is so delayed.
I had a lot of things come up, and only just finished dealing with them.

Second of all.
I really enjoyed this.
It was very well written, and I love the style you wrote it in.
Very poetic, and had great detail where it was needed.
Very well done.

Beautiful.

I loved this, its got so much meaning and depth.

Also loved the poetic style it had, the layout was also very beautiful. It really creates alot of imagery and thoughts for the reader. I don't know what else to say other than this was amazing. :3

This is beautiful and deep, and so well-written.

The way every line is separated the way it is, with the simplistic but stunning wording you used... it creates more of a child-like feel, which I think definitely enhances the work. And I love the italics, as I read them like whispers and... oh man. Just, oh man. Beautiful.

This is just absolutely delightful, every element, every word, every image created...

Exellent job!

so I like the title of this, that's for sure
But I really hate premade layouts
I don't know, it just bothers me x)
aww this is so sad D: children dying,
all of this just seems sad!
it like starts off hapy in a well described setting,
then BAM unhappy things :(
overall, I really liked this :3

I can't read your layout at all, so I had to switch to the default layout. If this hadn't been a comment swap, that probably would have turned me off and I wouldn't have read the story at all.

I like the poetry style of it. For me, that makes it an easier, faster read, and I'm all about easy reads. The content was really beautiful. I loved the way you flowed through time, sort of from innocent to realization. You did a really good job here.

I don't try to judge on layout but yours was almost unreadable, which was incredibly unappealing. I personally think you'd benefit from a change of layout. Also, the only other thing, is that whilst I know you're trying to create an affect, the beginning felt so short and sudden, which made it quite hard to follow. I think some of the lines shouldn't be separate.

However, I completely adored the emotion and imagery running through this. The political twinges it held, the story. The word 'profound' fits rather nicely and it was this which made the story the great drabble it was. :) So, whilst I found the beginning awkward and jaunty, I found the ending a lot more preferable, it was comfortable to read towards the end, I just wished you'd captured that at the beginning.

It was good though, well done! :D

Such a profound meaning in such a short, elagant amount of words.


I explain in hushed whispers the nature of this world. You frown, you utter two words

"That's stupid."

You've got serious tallent :3