Losing Lori - Comments

I really enjoyed the shift in tone for this chapter; even though I can definitely relate to how Oli feels about Lori at his worst, it's also great to see that there were occasions where things weren't hell. I also thought that it was neat that you chose to show this intimacy through kissing instead of sex; it was just so interesting, since you never see a character really looking at such a simple act. I seriously think that your Oli is one of the best characters I've read on this entire site, for sheer ability to relate to and just how genuinely real he seems. You've succeeded tremendously in capturing the extremely complicated emotions following the disintegration of a relationship and that's why I love this story so.

I think it's cute how he melted with her kisses, that each and every one of them were special to him. How he admitted that she was the better kisser out of the two, even though he figured he was one of the best (which he probably is). She has this weird pull to him that not I nor he understands... It's amazing how she could get her way with one kiss. Then again if a guy did the whole movie-hair-kiss thing with me, I'd probably let him have his way a lot too. Maybe not all the time though.

It was nice to see a little bit more of the better side of Lori. This story's only shown a few of them, so it's nice. I would say I want to see more of them, but then it would less of a mystery.

Update soon—don't—yes—please—I don't know. I can't stop the story from ending I guess. So—update soon?

First Ripping Butterfly Wings ends and now this is going to end too?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

I kind of agree with kitsch. Oli's trying to preserve the Lori he knew, not the Lori she is. He wants to keep an the old Lori alive in his mind, he doesn't want to let go. Or at least, one half of him doesn't want to let go. He wants to make sure he never forgets the Lori that he fell in love with, the one that made him happy instead of the one that hurt him. While he does admit her faults, he's also saying that he loved them, even if it hurt him. He wants to make her more than a memory, even though that's all she is now.

I want you to update soon, but I don't want it to end....

It's interesting how Oli says that Lori took advantage of him.
Because, well, I see it this way that he's taking advantage of the (idea of, maybe?) 'old' Lori.
As in, the one he was dating. Lori is this highly complex, multi-faceted character.
& two side of Oli are wrestling with each other
The half that wants to get over her versus the half that never wants to forget her, not even a little bit.
This whole thing is sort of how he wants to preserve her, then maybe she'll realize that
it was a huge mistake to even consider 'forgetting' about him. About them as an entity.

Or maybe I'm just over thinking it and not getting the point?

Wishful thinking is all.

I really love how subtly you managed to weave in more details about Lori into this chapter without it sounding out of place. The similarities between Oli and Lori was really cute too; I hadn't connected that before but that was really sweet. (: As always, I love this. :)

Awe, this was so cute. All the little quirks and everything were so unique and adorable. Major love. Ahaha, I loved how you describe the PMSing, I totally get it. :) The end was brilliant, as well. You know, your casual, pensive sort of amazing, brilliant writing style reminds me of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Totally in love with that.

Your parents named you Lori with an "i" for reasons unknown to me, but that just made me love you even more because my nickname, Oli, ends with that same letter too.

There should be a comma after letter in "...Oli, ends with the same letter..." etc. Other than, perfectly flawless and wonderfully bittersweet as usual. Keep on. :)

D:

OKAY. Now I want to go and marry this kid and walk to the beach and get ice cream every Sunday. Ugh, Lori, you best have a damn good freaking reason to leave this kid or I will be pissed. I don't know if I want them together, though, I know right? Before I did, but now I sort of want him with someone new. I'm sure you'll probably (actually, will) sway me with whoever he does, but I want him with someone who wants icecream on Sundays.

I think it's cool that he knows all the constellations, though. I wish I knew them! :D

The ending caught me a bit off guard, but in an awesome way. Like, why does he want to rip out her hair? IS HE GOING TO TELL US SOMETHING BIG? I want to know, Brooketh. And I want to know now. You sure don't update enough, gurl.

AND THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS.
:)

Aw... You know how serious a guy was about a girl when he brings up kids. His emotions are so strong, I can feel them whenever I read them. I want to know how she could leave a guy like that. He loved her so much, let her know things others didn't, and wanted to have kids with her. How can she be such a bitch?

I don't think I've ever read an Oliver story that made me feel so much while I was reading it. The last chapter made me want to just wrap my arms around him, tell him it's going to be alright, then go beat the shit out of Lori.

I don't think I've ever wanted to read someone else's side of the story so bad, you know, get her reasons for everything that she's putting Oli through. I don't think a story has ever made me this upset, and that's a job well done on your part. :)

I still love this story.
I mean, really. Everything he's saying is so raw, no sugar coating, no bullshit.
& it's like an inner monologue with himself; everything he wants to say but can't (or wouldn't).
Each confession he makes is a declaration and clearly he is full of many unspoken things.
Plus, although the chapters aren't that long, it speaks volumes of what's going on.

Never unsubscribing to this story. Just saying.

I think that this was my favorite chapter so far (and yes, I know I've said that more than once but that isn't the point xD). I'm not sure why but it just seems like Oli really got... deeper into his emotions. The reminiscing was really sad and bittersweet; I want him to get the opportunity to feel these things but at the same time, I want him to be able to move on with his life. I loved that last line; it was funny, in a really sad way.

Also, silent subscribers are for the birds.

This chapter was awesome. It was intense. I don't know, it's like this time you've really hit the inner workings of his mind. And he's showing some real animosity towards her, I think, which I quite like. (Strange, huh? :D) I'M JUST SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT! Great, great update, girlie. :D

Oh gosh. <3 This.
I didn't think I'd make it through all the chapters, but it's so captivating.
It makes you feel so bad for him.
He was so nice to her and she pushed him away.
The stereotype is the other way around, so people don't realize it can be like this.
I almost cried in the middle of this. It's heart breaking, and beautiful.
And I agree with the person above. It does seem like a letter. It's so fabulously written.
I'm in tears now. Oh gosh what am I going to do with myself? x]

Firstly, I absolutely adore the layout. I love the color of the background, and the picture just ties it all together. It's lovely<3

I like the way you started off the prologue, the whole thing reads like a letter to me. It feels like he's writing to her and he knows that she may never read them, kinda like letters to no one. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but I love it. I also really like how he admits that he loved her and, at times, hated her. I think that gives the character depth, and it makes it a better read and more interesting to look into his thought process than if he was just a love-sick puppy. I also loved how you characterized both characters at the same time, him through his thought process and her through his memories of her and how he felt. I only read the first four chapters, but I think you have a really good story on your hands and I'm sure it'll come out wonderful<3

So all those chapters, and I found a beautiful and touching story of regret, second thoughts, and moving on. I'm not a big fan of fan-fics, and I don't even know who Oliver Sykes (sp?) is-err....nevermind I just Googled him-but neither of those things matter because of how well written this story is. Its like I'm in this guy's head, feeling his soul being ripped apart. Great job, I love it!
Keep Writing and Stay Amazing!

This story is utterly fantastic. I haven't seen something like this since I read Catcher in The Rye. I absolutely adore the writing style. I absolutely love the description of literally everything.

I didn't even notice this was a fan fiction, but holy f*ck can you write. Holy f*cking hell. It's so emotional, and just so drastically beautiful. All of it is. I love your writing. I am just so jealous of it.

I was only planning on reading three chapters but I couldn't stop. It's seriously indescribable, I can't even say what I love about it because then I'd leave out other parts and saying it is fantastic as a whole just seems better, though I'm sure you'd like a wonderfully long and detailed comment, I can only give you this:

I love it all completely.

I've made it to chapter 5 so far, and to be honest i'm going back for more. I love it. The prolong pulled me in and i just couldn't stop reading it. I love how you descibe his fellings, and how far you go in depth with it. To me-so far- I hate Lori, but i'm sure there's a reason for her actions. I can't wait for more. :) Yet again, i love it. The only thing i found wrong with it is sometimes you forget the i in Lori, but that could just be her nickname and i'm just to blonde to relize it. Please forgive my spelling if i spelled something wrong.

I love the new picture you've chosen for the layout; although I adored the other one as well, I think this one really gives us a good portrayal of Lori's character. The new development in this chapter was great as well; once again, with Oli being angry, I feel like we might be witnessing him beginning to let go, just a little bit. I cannot wait to see where you bring this; every chapter, I feel like I can totally relate to how he is feeling and it gets me every time how real this is. (: I'm sorry I haven't commented for a few chapters but I cannot wait for the next chapter. :)

I liked the old banner better, but this one works too, I guess. I wonder if she is in Cali, and if Oli will go after her? I can't wait for an update!

I read up until chapted three, and I think this is one of your most emotional pieces yet. And I end up crying at everything you write. I love how even what he's writing never strays from her. It's the depth of how terrible he's feeling, and how much they've hurt each other. He obviously loved her much more that she loved him, making her feel trapped. Yet, when she left it destroyed him. They're a classic take-no-prisoners couple.

I also find it astounding how, despite it being told from his point of view, I still can't bring myself to hate her. The way you describe her gains sympathy for both, which is amazing in something so emotionally complex as this.

One of my favourite authors, you just impress me all over again.

I also love the line "You always won". It's so simple, yet it's one of the most hard-hitting lines in the whole piece, to me. It sort of reflects whilst looking to the future. The way you make it seem as if time has stopped moving to him, and how he lives in the past is heartbreaking.

By now, I know how spectacular you are but I can never get used to it. Great job, darling ;)