Losing Lori - Comments

First off, I'd like to say that this is so sweet. His love for her is absolutely adorable and she's a heartbreaking character, to say the least. And I feel that this is an idea that can be extremely cliche but you write it so originally and so wonderfully. Everything he misses about her is profound and extremely personal, which I really quite like. It's almost like Oliver's your own character. It doesn't really feel like a fan-fiction.

In chapter one, you say, "We were going to get married." And then in chapter five, you talk about how she freaked out when he proposed to her. I don't know, it just doesn't seem logically fitting to me.

I'm going to move on here and say that I adore the endings of each chapter. They're kind of like bombshells, so profound and short and snappy. They're effective.

Anyway, as a whole, this is one of the best stories ever, I must say. The layout is really pretty, too. Really simple. And there are no grammar mistakes whatsoever. :)

Hope you update soon. <3

I'd first like to say I love the background and picture. Everything goes together well and isn't at all distracting. The summary is brief enough to grab my attention but not drag on.
I'd like to go on to say that I love the style of writing and the voice. It feels more personal because it is like he is speaking directly to the reader. The prologue leaves me full of questions- why did Lori leave?
I love how you show us instead of tell us- you don't come out and directly state things, you subtly mentions things so that the reader can make conclusions. I love your use of metaphors and how much emotion you put into it... I can't help but feel heartbreakingly sad for Oli.
Honestly, it's pretty amazing. I just love the idea and you definitely have the talent to pull it off.

I like the short chapters, makes it easier to read the updates. The plot is great, some girl that left this boy and then he sees her with some other guy and she's hugging him when she pushed him off. She's rude.

Like: In chapter one; the emotions in the chapter and how the words when he 'said' that when he licked his lips he could still taste her.
In chapter two; how he says she always won. I just like that for some reason. The fact that only he understood his infatuation with her. And that she was impossible to forget.
In chapter three; the questions, asking why she wasn't attached like he was to her. The story line where it's like he's writing a note to her or something.
In chapter four; It's weird, I like how he can hate her and call her a slut but he still seems to care about her, though not to do anything, but he still does.
In chapter five; Admitting that he can't hate her, or be made at her when she does nothing but hate on him and push him away. It's sad though, that she cheated and he still couldn't be mad at her because he loved her.
In chapter six; how it talks about the stuff that she left, how she took his stuff and it makes you wonder if she loved him - by taking his stuff, or if it wasn't on purpose.
In chapter seven; He is so in love with her but hates her at the same time. Talks about how she needs sense knocked into her, he was good enough and she didn't see it.

I love your writing style, in this story. Again; it's like a note he is writing to her. Or like a blog, how you write something and you are asking them - hoping they will see it - and answer you or something. It's sad, because it makes you feel what he feels. I love this story.

It's been a while ol' buddy ol' pal, aha. But I have finally caught up! And this excites me!

I like in chapter nine how you compared his love for her like an addiction to nicotine, it was small but even more it sort of impressed the idea that this is one hard ass chick to get over. Considering smokers have to get like patches and fake cigarettes, it was tiny and you probably didn't give it much thought, but it was my favourite part of that entire chapter. Aha, he should get a Lori Patch. <- really, WHY AM I SO CLEVER?

OH I TOTALLY THOUGHT SHE LEFT LIKE FOR GOOD. I mean, I was expecting this giant breakdown where she disappears and he can't find her and nevermind, she's just chilling outside. But something definitely wrong with her, no big deal just tried to almost kill myself from hypothermia. I don't really know how to take this other than Lori has some definite psychology things going on under that smile of hers. I don't think she's just an absolute bitch just because. I think it's nice that even though she got mad, he was happy.

I LIKE OLI. Have I mentioned that yet? HE IS JUST SO FREAKING ADORABLE. Like all hysterical and then happy and just like a cute as shit puppy dog. Really.

Just to the point where I can't say your name. That's it, that's all. It's not that bad, really.
No big deal or anything, not that bad. Just... y'know, mental breakdown if it happens.

WELL THIS WAS JUST OUT OF NO WHERE. This girl is famous. Is that why she left? She wanted to conquer Hollywood? Why did she just leave him and not take him with her? QUESTIONS, THERE ARE TOO MANY. IS SHE ACTUALLY GETTING BEAT? I guess nice guys really do finish last.

I'm sorry that was really lame.

But really, I totally just re-fell in love with this story. No big deal. :D

wow, honestly one of the best stories here. please update soon(:

Yes! I finally got around to commenting on this!

So first I must tell you that I am a huge fan of your work, including this, but I've just never had the time to actually sit down and write a meaningful comment. Until now. So I apologize. :3
It touches my heart to see how much he cares for Lori and how absolutely retarded he is for her. And I like the fact that you portray him as someone who is so heartbroken that it's to the point where it makes me wanna cry, instead of the ice cold, cliche, over-used manwhore type, haha.

Also, despite the fact that I think of Lori as a total bish for just dropping him like that, I really love her character; she has spunk to her, some sort oomph, you know?

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're a brilliant writer, writing a brilliant story, and doing one hell of a brilliant job in the process. (:

Sorry that I haven't commented yet, I've been busy. I really want to know why Lori left Oli in the first place. I mean, he was completely devoted to her. 100%. You can't find a guy like that very easily... So why would she let him go? Update soon, please.

That's it????? I want more! This was very beautiful! I feel so bad for Oliver though, he loved her so much, but all she gave him was a goodbye.

I'm crying now, which I don't normally do, so good job :) I really wish there was more...<3

You deserve more than one comment, so I'm going to comment before I get to the end, yes?

I love the description and how Oliver (I believe is who you said he was) seemed to almost talk directly to Lori, the writing is nice, but so far there isn't any action. No dialogue is cool for a while, but shall we get to some talking?

I shall read more and see :)

Great description and emotion, I'm liking it so far.

He really loves her... It amazes me.

You've earned yourself a new subscriber. I love this story, it's unlike anything I've ever read. :)

I enjoyed seeing the softer, more loving side of Oli and Lori's relationship. It was nice, seeing Lori being sweeter. I love when people trace my skin, it gives me a tingly feeling that is on the verge of being a ticklish spot, and also being soothing. I love it.

Anyways, those tattoos are epic! I wouldn't get them, I'm too much of a baby to have a needle touch me. I hate shots as it is. (Yet I'll willingly stick a clothes pin through my skin... Odd.)

Please update soon! I just can't get enough of this story.

First off let me just say that those tattoos are freaking epic and that that girl is just gorgeous in general. >.> I've always had a thing for tattoos but not too many, and usually I don't like them colored but in her case they work out really nice, especially with the color scheme she's got going. It looks even better against the pale of her skin and it's a nice contrast. :3

ONWARDS TO THE STORY.

Did I ever tell you how much I love Lori? I did? Well, I'm saying it again. I fucking love her. I love the way she's inconsistent and the way she decides on a whim and just quits things if she wants to quit them and never really throws herself all into something. In some ways she's like me. Like when things get hard I say fuck it and just give up which really is not the way to do things but hey. It's what I do. Same with getting bored with things. I don't like my job so I'm planning on quitting and going to Hollister. I also need more than 32 hours but ANYWAY

I feel so bad for Oliver. Like he's so in love with her and he doesn't know why but at the same time he can't let go of her. He just loves her so much. :'( It's really a shame. He deserves better but you wouldn't want to tell him to let go of Lori because she's so important to him and...well, you know what I'm saying. Dear god, do my comments always sound this stupid? Anywho, obviously she eventually leaves him so I guess I can say good riddance without feeling too guilty. Apparently though he still loves her because otherwise he wouldn't be saying all of this about her, no matter how negative. You don't keep talking or thinking about someone unless they mean something to you. :/

Wonderful chapter, sweetheart. I love how simple yet powerful it is. <3

I think this chapter was a nice... interlude, I suppose. The last few chapters have been Oli kind of expressing his frustration at Lori but this showed the sweeter part of their relationship... or, at least that is what I thought. It was very well written and I actually think this is one of my favourite chapters thus far. (:

This story is amazing. I just found it, and wow.
The way you write this is absolutely beautiful, as well as the layout (haha).
I like that you wrote this from Oli's point of view, it's like I can actually feel his pain.
Great work, you just gained a new subscriber ;)

GABBY. SHE IS SATISFIED AND PLEASED AND VERY MUCH LIKES THIS CHAPTER.
It could be a favourite of right now.

You did it, you have officially made me just want to have babies with this story. Can I mention, just casually, that I fucking adore the fact that the only reason either of them seemed interested in each other is because they wanted to change to be like them? And that the entire thing backfired on them so incredibly much? And I say that in the nicest way possible but when I read that it was just like: click click click in my head.

It just makes them so human in my head, because I know a lot of people who do that. They'll hang out with someone, and even though they like them sure, it's still a little bit only for their personal gain. And it's sort of, a little bit you got to admit, that they brought it on themselves. WHICH MAKES ME LOVE THEM MORE. :D

I mean, he obviously got tired of his one night stands and she... I still think it's some sort of rebellion against her mom. I think she still carries around something for him, even if it doesn't seem like it. I know he isn't the only one who's carrying around the burden. I mean, still, she's not herself, you know?

And of course, you got your regular I want to buy him ice cream even that really expensive kind just to make him feel better because he totally got fucked over big time. He was so totally whipped.

Now I'm just sitting here like: how will this all play out? What is the big fantastic ending? What will happen!?
dun dun dunn.

Not but seriously I'm usually so good at finding out what's going to happen before it happens because I'm so good at picking up the small things but damn I'm coming with a blank for this story. WHICH MAKES ME EVEN THAT MORE EXCITED. :)

I enjoyed finding out about that bit of mystery about their meeting and how he fell for her in the first place. It's a nice twist, considering most guys like wild girls, just thinking they'd be "easy." But no, he wanted his bad past to be gone, and he figured she could help him. But in the end, she made him worse. Nothing - nothing - is worse than a broken heart and bittersweet memories.

Please do update soon. I look forward to these updates. <3

This is amazing, as usual.

I like how Oliver actually fell in love with Lori. It was a unique idea and you executed it perfectly. :)

I really liked the information we got in this chapter about how Oli and Lori met. The way you incorporated it into the story seemed very realistic and, like always, you revealed a little bigger piece of the puzzle that is Lori. I look forward to the next chapter, as I do every chapter. (:

I like how Lori used to be a good girl. Most stories with this kind of situation have the girl always being this badass bitch everyone hates and she's always been that way and the guy kind of has to...tame her, I guess. And everyone's always cheering for the guy because they just know he can get her to fall for him even though she's like a black widow in the sense that she has sex with a guy and then eats him. Or, like, rips his head off. You get what I'm saying, right? Of course you do, because you're Brookie and I'm Savannah and we know what each other is saying, k? K. Even if it doesn't make sense to other people. Because we're that epic.

Anyway. I can tell how desperate Oli is to have her back but at the same time he's kind of got this silent fight because he's worried about this behavior. He loves her but he knows she's bad for him. Kind of like drugs. Lori is like his own personal drug.

...er, why am I writing a summary of your story? Comments are more for telling you what I like, aren't they? D: Dammit, I suck at this commenting thing.

Well, I like that the story is like I just described. I like that she's a bitch but used to be a good girl. That's a change. That he knows she's a bitch. That he still wants her. Those are all good in my book. I'd like to see more of what happened when they were in an actual relationship but all in good time, since you've started from the beginning (a very good place to start--*shot*). So I will await patiently the next chapter. :)