Losing Lori - Comments

I love this story!!
It captivated me on the first sentence!
You're an amazing writer and I can't wait to read more of this story.(:

I like how interesting this story is. It's not written like every other story, and the idea is very original. I don't even listen to BMTH, but I was able to disassociate myself from that and just enjoy the story for what it is. I really loved it. Well done.

I love this story dearly. I enjoy the fact its in Oli's point of view.

I feel for him, I can feel the heartbreak in the words that portray his feelings. Keep writing, you have the talent to...<3

I know nothing will ever be big enough to fill the huge gape in my head either, the place where everything happy and sad about you festers and leaks out, all over my brain. I think you mean huge gap But I could be wrong.

I really love this line You had me at hello and I tried to avoid goodbyes or whatever it was, I'm just repeating from memory. It was fantastic by far my favorite line throughout this entire story. I'm very much in love with this and I don't know why I"ve never mentioned it before, but I love the fact that it's the boy yearning after her and being so heart broken. That's something that you never see.

You mentioned in the one chapter that he has a hard time holding grudges and I don't know why, but it was just like "ting" in my head because it just works so well with Lori in a horrible way for him. I... I don't know, I want to think of Lori as a good person. And it's crazy that, the way that he explains her, I still sort of do.

It's like, in any other circumstance I would hate her, and I'm really starting too. I mean, with the dude and doing those things and eveyrthing. But just... thinking that since Oli seems like a pretty awesome guy, and he fell in love with her for some reason, that she must have some redeeming qualities and so I feel like I'm clinging onto that, but there's this big giant black hole underneath that's like "LORI IS A HOAR". <- ... I don't even know.

And it's like, I feel like she's sort of... rebelling. Like, Oliver has nothing to do with it. You mentioned her mother, and I feel like because of that she's just trying to do all these things wrong on purpose, like she wants to f*ck up her life just because of her mom. Oli's just caught in the cross fire.

AND CAN I MENTION HE IS JUST LIKE AN ADORABLE PUPPY I WANT TO HIDE IN MY PURSE AND TAKE HOME? God, he's so cute and vulnerable I want to buy him a happy meal. But in an annoying "woe is me" way but in a bitter realistic way that makes me want to love him more.

I guess the only con-crit I have would be I'd like a little more of a reason of why he fell in love with her in the first place. It would make me understand why he can't let go just a little more. But that's about it. :D

You know your Oli stories are probably the only ones I'll ever read? Seriously, I've never listened to BTMH (not even one song) even though I should probably listen to a song to see if I like them or not. Anyway, I never read Oli stories but yours are just...they're not even fanfic, you know? They're like original fiction but not even that. They're some in-between shit and I have no clue how to describe them. I have to sit down and read RBW too since I have my phone now and it can go on the interwebz...for reading on the go. :D /Ariana Grande

Your writing from a boy's point of view is absolutely flawless. Honestly it's so much better than what I do with Mason and I admire you for that because it seems like you don't even have to try writing as a boy. :)

The alliteration in the title is gorgeous, too. :o

Aaand as always your layout is to die for. It has this kind of atmosphere about it. A lot of your stories do, actually. They remind me of, like, sunset at Warped Tour. Or like a suburban sunset. I don't know if you know what I mean. D:

I can't wait for you to update. Lori seems like a real bitch but with an element of humanity to her, like Oli is making her seem worse than she is without exaggerating at all... if THAT makes sense.

I always look forward to this update. I get so excited. :)

And I'm sorry to hear about your great grandmother, I send silent prayers to whatever higher power is listening for you. I hope you're okay. <3

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. If I could give you some smores, I would. (: But I can't, so instead, I will give you a comment. :D

before the cops came and escorted me away. Whoa. That line came a little out of left field and I had to read it again to make sure I got it. Lori called the cops on him? Wow. I did like this line, however, because it gives us glimpses into the past while still keeping that diary feel, if that makes any sense. It also reveals more about Lori's character.

If you were out on the street, and I saw you, you could expect a nice black eye, Lori. I really liked that line too; over the course of this story, I think we are really seeing Oli evolve as a character, especially with his feelings towards Lori. He still loves her but I think he's also starting to see that she didn't really deserve to have him. I'm really looking forward to seeing his character continue to evolve and I can't help but wonder how the story will end. (:

i've just started reading this and in all honesty it's really amazing!
it doesn't seem cliche like a lot of the stories on here and and after reading the first chapter you get an idea of whats going to happen but then you read the second and it changes the readers idea and for the third and so on, thats what i love about it. For once, a story has been able to keep me on edge because I just cant figure out whats going to happen.
Basically this story is amazing and i didnt even hesitate to subscribe!

i cried reading this,
no joke.
i'm serious.
this story is so fucking beautiful<3
totally subscibing(:

Ah, the love of this story shall never die. This comment is going to suck just so you're aware. But I enjoy your short little sweet chapters, I feel bad that I can't really give a decent comment on everyone of them mainly because they're little snippets of information. Once the entire story is complete then I can give you this awesome huge baller comment. Mkaaay?

So I'm a huge fail and didn't even realize you'd updated this...twice. Anywho, I keep seeing myself in Lori more and more to be quite honest. Not the whole drunk thing or the sleeping at guy's house's, unless Steve counts. But the fact that she doesn't seem to be very relationship material, the fact that marriage isn't for her. That's where I can relate. I really do love this story. :)

Oh and I caught a bbcode fail.

"I've told you before, marriage is not[i ]what I want!

This story is really unique and a nice change of pace from the usual stories on this site. Your writing style is fantastic! It's so emotionally powerful and just a delight to read. Can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Sometimes I think it was all a dream, you and me. I adored that line because I know exactly how that feels. Sometimes, when I look back at my past relationships, it's hard to believe they ever happened, even if the evidence is sitting in front of me. It just doesn't feel real anymore. This story just brings out so much emotion in me, which is good!

I look forward to every chapter that you post. I'm not sure if Lori is going to come back into Oli's life but I look forward to finding that out. I am hooked on this story. (:

wow this is totally amazing. i'm in love with this story it's like i can kinda feel his pain as i'm reading. To make people feel like that with your writing is really special. NEW ADDICTION! >*subs!*<

The reminders of her broke my heart. To always have to see those things that were once something she cared about--a caring and loving feeling that she never returned to Oli--just sitting there, taunting you...it would kill me. Always having a reminder of the love that will never be returned, a love that he can never get back, and the reminder that she's gone forever, is so heartbreaking.

Update soon! You must!

Oh my GOD.

This is my favorite chapter. It's the most detailed, and the most beautiful, and the most heartbreaking. I love how you focused on reminders of her. Oliver's so helpless again, so heartbreaking. :) You really showcase emotion in the simplest, most gorgeous way. I really like the last line, as well. It's a beautiful metaphor.

First up, Lori's not my favorite person. Though Oliver views her as a prize. He's so sweet in this, so helpless, so lost. I adore the way you did that. I like how in each chapter, he is talking to her, wishing for her to return, y'know? I love the bit about him lying to his mother. It shows how much he loves her. Lori is really bitch, haha. I nearly cried, reading about his plight. You crafted that emotion so well. And I also like the layout. I really look forward to reading more. :D

It's so sad that Oli hasn't told his mom.
I like the way you ended this chapter, it really struck me for some reason.
You're a really good writer.

I don't know how you do it, but you put so much emotion into every word. I wanted to cry about this chapter about the marriage thing. I mean, really Lori? Can I punch her in the face? And maybe kick her in the vag? Yeah, I think I'd like to do that.

This story deserves way more comments than it's getting. I don't care if the chapters are short; it actually makes them better. When people try to hold those kind of things out, they end up saying the same thing over and over and people get bored with it. But you capture it in such a short and simple way, yet it's anything but simple.

And about the person stealing your layout, fuck them. If they can't come up with their own layout, then they've got some fucking issues to work out.