Life is Beautiful - Comments

xD The title automatically made me think of a Sixx:AM song...

Anyways, it's a pretty damn good chapter, I like the way you described how the town celebrated the beginning of fall. I also get the feeling that Jason likes or maybe has a crush on Camille?

I love how you describe Camille's character though, she sounds like a strong person, and I like that. I like how she's not letting this disease control her life and she's living it the way she wants to.

Great work :3

Aw, I like this. I felt so sorry for the little girl in the beginning. Camille Rose. That’s a pretty, pretty name. :) But yes, I know one kid who had TB and died because of it, so I totally felt the summary.

Anyway, I love the story. I love the hope Camille’s character has. She’s a strong girl, and I love her. I love all the detail you’ve supplied, and everything that’s going on is clear and distinct. I really love this, and I’ll definitely read more.

The picture is really cute, too, by the way.

I love this!
The way you write is just so natural and very personal, like I know the characters already.
I only noticed one thing;
‘you’re on your on, buddy’ Was that supposed to be 'you're on you own, buddy.'? Also, the layout was beautiful and fit really well to the story.
Awesome job!

Oh, hello there. (':

I think I've fallen in love with this story. I think it's the bittersweet tones to it. You carry the emotion well, yet there's still an unspoken positivity. The reader certainly feels sympathy for Camille. You're writing about something powerful, and you show it in a very simplistic way - it's sweet to read; easy to read, it skims the surface of the story, but is something obvious to the reader. You have lovely description and flow, it's a pleasure to read as you're not getting slowed down by silly mistakes. I really do like this story, and as a sidenote, the layout is lovely! <3

First I gotta say this,
I love your layout and banner picture
It is very beautiful <3

This is one lovely story you have written
I always feel bad for kids who get sick very young
And who don't deserve any of it.

I love you sense of detail, and imagery
Even though it is a sad thing
I'm glad you have written as someone who didn't give up
Who still has hope, which to me makes this a positive story.

I can't wait to see more
And also how this ends

Keep up the good work <3

This is such a beautiful story.
The title is brilliant for the story because it isn't exactly a beautiful life for Cam...
I feel really sorry for her... I just want to be the one person who goes and looks after her no matter what, and being the type of person I am if I knew someone in that condition I would see hang out with her dispite what was wrong...
It's a lovely story with a gorgeous layout and overall absolutely brilliant!
I'm gonna sub! :-)

This is such a beautiful story.
The title is brilliant for the story because it isn't exactly a beautiful life for Cam...
I feel really sorry for her... I just want to be the one person who goes and looks after her no matter what, and being the type of person I am if I knew someone in that condition I would see hang out with her dispite what was wrong...
It's a lovely story with a gorgeous layout and overall absolutely brilliant!
I'm gonna sub! :-)

Oops...edit:

The only way to describe what I was feeling at that moment would be bliss. Absolute bliss. Happiness coursed through my veins and I couldn’t hold back the smile that burst onto my lips.

If the only way you could describe her feelings was bliss, then why did hapiness course through her veins? Perhaps I'm just retarded, but it'd make more sense to me if it read:
"...bliss. Absolute bliss. I could feel as it coursed through my veins, and I couldn't hold..."

However, it almost seemed uncharacteristic, him asking me to joining him and Ross. I mean, if this were Jason I was talking to it’d be more believable but Ross?

I think you mean "him asking me to join him and Jason", here. Otherwise, although I don't know the characters too well, it doesn't seem to make sense. :)

I think this girl is in over her head a little with this boy, just judging from that last chapter. He doesn't seem all too interested, though you have mentioned he's "quiet" so perhaps that's it :)

This is just me being nitty-picky but you seemed to want that...
sooo...
In the first paragraph of the introduction, "other's" should be "others", as there's no possession.
In the second paragraph, "decide" should be "decided" as you should stick to one tense :)

Firstly, the layout is lovely and is easy on the eyes :)

Mom and Dad had gone out to the city to do some shopping since they still have failed at finding a grocery store in the town square, or anywhere near here.

You have a lovely way of writing :) Your sentences are all the right length; the short ones are mixed in well, and the long ones are never daunting.
Just, this sentence threw me off a bit. "since they still have failed" doesn't sound right. but it could be just me.

In an instantly, I jumped to my feet and grabbed the handles to the bags. He’d been food shopping.

"instantly" should be "instant"

The breeze blew through my hair, and loose pieces tickled my neck as it partially came out of the bun.

The way this sentence is structured makes it seem that the last part applies to the breeze, but of course I know the breeze wasn't done up in a bun. Perhaps consider revising this one :)

My sister thinks it’s fun, but she younger.

"she" should be "she's".

The only way to describe what I was feeling at that moment would be bliss. Absolute bliss. Happiness coursed through my veins and I couldn’t hold back the smile that burst onto my lips.[\b]

If the only way you could describe her feelings was bliss, then why did hapiness course through her veins? Perhaps I'm just retarded, but it'd make more sense to me if it read:
"...bliss. Absolute bliss. I could feel as it coursed through my veins, and I couldn't hold..."

However, it almost seemed uncharacteristic, him asking me to joining him and Ross. I mean, if this were Jason I was talking to it’d be more believable but Ross?

I think you mean "him asking me to join him and Jason", here. Otherwise, although I don't know the characters too well, it doesn't seem to make sense. :)

I think this girl is in over her head a little with this boy, just judging from that last chapter. He doesn't seem all too interested, though you have mentioned he's "quiet" so perhaps that's it :)

The plot is great. I love how detailed you are with writing, it makes the story even more interesting. The story is well writen, which is hard to find on this site.

Haha, when she ran into that guy, Ross, made me laugh because I've done that before. ^_^
I also like how quick Camille is at deciding things.

Aww, they're going to a festival togetherr. ;)
I mean, yeah, Jason is going with them.. But like she said, it was unexpected for ROSS to ask her!
Flawless detailing, really. I can't get enough of your writing. <3
When I saw that this story had been updated, I was practically screaming at my laptop to load faster lol (:
Waiting for the next beautiful words to come from that brilliant head of yours!

I love this chapter! I knew something special was going on. I root for Ross! Lol. Can't wait till the next update!

I loved this so much! It's so wonderful. Even just reading that one chapter, I noticed how your writing technique is so refined and beautiful. I wish I had even a little bit of your talent.

The way the characters spoke was so real. Sometimes, when I read books, the characters talk alike. But you gave them their own words and you made it so amazing.

I want to read this whole story now, and I will. I'm totally bookmarking it and reading the whole thing tomorrow. By the way, your layout is simply stunning. I love it so much. It's pretty but it doesn't take away from the beautiful writing that is in the middle.

If this was in a bookstore, and I had just read what I read, I think that I would take the book, and all others that were written by you, and buy them. No kidding, I honestly would. You have such great talent, and I love you for it. Oh my god you will go places.

This seems good from the beginning. I'm liking your writing style and description, and while the hook is a simple one, it works when you're able to be that eloquent. I like it when people don't waste time fleshing out a scene, so that as a reader I have something to stand on, if you will, in terms of the setting.

I wouldn't make many nitpicks, because this seems free from spelling and other errors. I must admit, though, that this line stood out as being an unusual way for a fourth-grader to talk (it's very formal):

Nicole sighed. “Don’t make this harder than it already is, Camille! It’s not like we want to do this but…”

But then, maybe that's just a character thing. I just felt like I had to suspend my disbelief for it.

I'm also a little dubious about the use of italics for speech at the beginning of the first chapter. Your other use of italics in that chapter and in the next one (where you use it for asides) is more appropriate, and it would be good to keep a pattern of consistency there.

Not much else really disrupted your flow. It's odd that in a first-person POV you would have a character describing their eyes, etc. as 'dull', because this is more a visual impression an outsider would have than something they would have felt for themselves. But this is very minor and would be easy to fix if you wanted to swap some words around.

I've only read two chapters and the prologue of this so far, but I think that overall it proceeds without problems. It's a simple idea for a story, like I say, but it's effortless to read with and a little bit of extra polish along the lines I've mentioned, I think it could be easy to get sucked into. Chapter length is also fine.

Keep it up!

Ok so I must agree that the layout is really adorable <3.

When I read the first paragraph, I really expected her story to be very sad. Kind of like 10 years to live type thing. Plus the whole part about people avoiding her because of her TB. I really like how in the later chapters she isn't categorized as much. It brings a more positive feel to the story:)

There isn't a lot of critique to be given. Your grammar and punctuation is just about flawless. You've have done a great job so far.

I can't wait for an update and I'll make sure to subscribe this time:)

I just have to say that I really love the layout, it is just lovely. Everything, to me, just blends together. I actually remember reading this story a while ago. And I remember really liking the chapters that I read.

I actually thought it was rather sad when Doctor McCarthy said that Camille wasn't dying yet. If I were those boys, I would be asking questions or be mad at him for not sharing what he meant. But hey, that's just me. Anyway, I thought this was a wonderful chapter and I felt like it might have been a turning point in Ross and Jason’s life even though I don’t really know much about his character.

Jason made me giggle because he acted like such a young child when his father came home from work. His character, even though I only read this chapter, makes me laugh.

Just by reading the thirteenth chapter makes me want to read the rest of the story just to find out what happens before the most recent chapter. I don’t know if I have said this before, but I think this is a really unique and interesting story. I just might read the rest of the story and stick with it!

Wow, I really, really like this. I've never read anything like it, not to mention I love the descriptiveness. So far I'm up to chapter seven, but I'm definetly sticking around for more! Subscribing!

*P.S I thought the image of a note in chapter three was so genius. *applauds you*

I love the new layout it's adorable!

I think this chapter was flawless. I loved how Jason obsessed over Camille, it was adorable, but I can't help but feel like Ross should be with Camille.

And I sure hope that sweet girl doesn't die :( that would make me cry.

Great job! If there was something I could tell you to fix, I would but this chap was stunning :)

Jason jumped form me..
*from
Heehee I'm being nitpicky xD
I love the layout, the banner's adorable <33
I love this chapter to be honest.
Especially the last paragraph
*too lazy to copy down LOL*
The imagery was a nice effect since you described it so well <3
I'm gonna cut this short since I'm being lazy C:
Overall I loved it <3
And you better make those damn cupcakes!! >:D

I read the prologue and chapter one to get a taste of the story before I dove straight on in. So far, it seems really original and very wonderful. You caught my attention from the very first line and I wanted to keep reading and reading and reading. I don't have the time now, but I'm going to subscribe and come back to this. It deserves a better comment than the one I am able to give now because it truly is fantastic so far and I can't wait to see what lays ahead. <3