Midnight Haze - Comments

I love the simplicity of your layout, first of all. It is easy to read, and it’s pleasing to the eye. I also like the banner you used. It gives me a little more information as to what the story might be about, as do the words you used in the summary. I definitely like the looks of this one-shot so far. On to reading. ^_^

I have to say, I don’t read to much Panic! At The Disco stuff, but from what I’m reading so far, I really like what you’ve got here. It’s well-written and it’s easy to follow. You’ve got good detail, and it’s quite blatantly obvious (in the most wonderful way) that you’ve put a lot of thought and work into getting the words just how you wanted them to come out.

the cloud of smoke made him look like an old photograph, one of those old black and white ones in the priceless family photo albums with the corners fraying and the colors fading. That line sticks out to me, and I’m not sure why. It’s just so…vibrant, and it’s such a connection to the story that I really like it. ^_^

…a thought that Aristotle had probably had but hadn’t ever quite actually written it down. The added it here kind of throws me off a little, but other than that, I think this line is amazing as well. You’re excellent with description and putting your readers in the story as though they’re there and witnessing everything through their own eyes. I really like your style of writing.

Ryan was right until proven right. I’m not sure if the second right is supposed to be wrong, I just thought I’d point it out. ^_^

and I won’t forget you, so you don’t have to scared of that.” I think there’s supposed to be an added b in there, and I just thought I’d point that out as well.

This was a really good one-shot all-in-all. I really enjoyed reading it, and even if my comment came out as more of a review (somehow, that always happens. ) I don’t mind, because this was something I think I would have reviewed anyway. I am going to save the link to this and read it again as well, because it was quite well-written and I really liked it. There weren’t many mistakes; the few there were that I noticed, I pointed out to you. I think I might check some of your other stuff out as well. 

Also, sorry to double comment, but I was upstairs and your description of Brendon smoking from the bong suddenly struck me. Bongs are definitely my preferred way to smoke, but there's no way I would have been able to describe it as well as you did. It was effortless and perfect.

I love this. This is my favorite I've read by you so far. I love that there's so much weed in it, but it's not really the focus. It is, but it isn't. Outwardly, it would be. But when you read it, it's the characters and the characters just happen to smoke weed. I love what Ryan says about not being forgotten and how Brendon says the Beatles and Ryan says no. And I believe Ryan. I think the Beatles are the idea, but not the goal. And I love that there's no consummation of any relationship in this. There's that very casual want and the idea that it may happen at the end, but it's understated, which is beautiful.

The line about the smell of Ryan's hair/shampoo having more of an effect on Brendon than the marijuana was absolutely brilliant. With your permission, I would like to link this on my profile<3