What If You Did Live? - Comments

I love the idea that drove you to write this.I always have the thought. It's kind of like having an out of body experience when you're thinking about it, like both outcomes seem equally likely.

A few grammar errors but other than that, I liked this.

There are a few grammar errors in this, like run-ons and typos.

I always wonder what would happen if I did jump would I die or would I live.

This should be: I always wonder what would happen if I did jump. Would I die, or would I live?

There are little things like that. But other than that, this was amazing!

I think it's fantastic how such an intricate idea was tucked into a little one-shot.

Overall, I love it. It amazed me

This is short, but quite nice.

I am a little concerned that the line, 'What if you did live?' would be more grammatically correct if it was, 'What if you lived?', although I get that you are trying to place emphasis on the 'did' part. Maybe you could use italics, like, 'What if you lived?' I dunno, just a thought.

There's also a minor error you repeat a few times, using 'its' instead of 'it's' when you mean to contract 'it is'. This is just a small thing that wouldn't take long to fix.

Overall, I think this is an interesting idea, and a good stream of consciousness. I like this part of the motivation:

I wanted to see how it felt jumping into the air crashing into the water; would my body go into shock? Or would I die just like the movies?

It would also be good to see what it was like fleshed out in further detail. Why is this person jumping, beyond curiosity and abandonment of any real will to live? What brought them to this point, standing up on the bridge?

It's already good, but I think that with some careful attention and a few grammatical quick-fixes, it could be even better.

Well done.

i agree with seismograph,this has a lot of deep questions and it's really good:)

Very deep questions! Reading this, I really do imagine the chances myself.

All I do have to say is that, yeah, most people do die if they jump off a bridge into water. There have been people who survived, but mostly out of luck or something they did at the last moment to slow their fall and/or absorb the shock. Frankly it's the impact. Hitting anything touchable---even water, because it too has a surface---would result in death. I know water doesn't seem like such a formidable foe, but, hey, famous last words: "Maybe I'll live."