I Was Adopted By A Rich Guy And His Son - Comments

I think you don't understand what people actually mean in the comments. They're not saying you suck, I've never seen anything along those lines in story comments. A lot of these comments in particular give you some good, constructive criticism and advice, and I for one would follow it.

The thing about the paragraphs is true. Reading one huge block of text is very hard to do, and that's an understatement. But it's really only aesthetic, and it can be fixed in just a couple of minutes. Breaking up the text, and making new paragraphs for each person who speaks is essential. And it's also a good idea to look over your writing before you post for spelling/grammar errors, and someone has said that too.

No one's out to bash you or anything, I swear :) Everyone has a starting point with writing (which, most of the time, is not nearly publishable), and the only way to get better is to actually write. And in my opinion, mibba is a place for writers to grow and get the constructive criticism they need in order to do so!

omg more moremore please i love this so much

She have a brother!! =O What a shock!

dont you dare let others think your not good because i love this i dont care what they say you freaking rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who freaking cares if they dont like it they dont have to read it its not like your forcing thier hand so update when you can you have me here no matter what i love this ok sorry im done with my little rant lol

omg love this cant wait for more

Don'r delete it!! I want to know why her parents die!!!! =S

i love your story, but it drives me crazy. its kind of hard to understand. i think you should take some one up on their offer to help fix it no offense. i mean the story and the ideas are amazing, but its hard to read

I haven't read much so far, but from what I've read it is good. But I can't help but notice it's kind of hard to figure out who is saying what. You should use breaks in lines and quotation marks whenever a new person is speaking.

I hope they get back Dot! =D

I like the idea, it's a little short, and you need to work on your grammar. I'm sure it'll turn out really good once you fix the errors.

ahhhh thats one crazy servent i would tackle her hahaha

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Don't kill Dot!!!! =S

Thank you everyone for your support reads and comments :3

I want to read more!!! :D

Stumbled upon this, the idea is good.
But you really need to start a new paragraph with a new speaker, and just paragraphs in general would help making reading better. It's really hard to understand someone's writing when it's just a mass like that.

But overall, it's a good story.(:

I really liek it! i cant wait to read more

I know right O: im trying to find names that are different or never heard of it :3

hmmm i hate looking up names too

Ah i like the story line, it is interesting. also, you wanted us to suggest names? Well you have been using interesting names so far. . . how about a Quinn? or a Justina? :]

1. Use paragraphs instead of letting everything just be mushed together in one long paragraph.
2. Use quotation marks when necessary.
3. It's never ideal to change points of view mid-chapter.
4. Double check your writing.