I Was Adopted By A Rich Guy And His Son - Comments

  • wild rover

    wild rover (155)

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    I think you don't understand what people actually mean in the comments. They're not saying you suck, I've never seen anything along those lines in story comments. A lot of these comments in particular give you some good, constructive criticism and advice, and I for one would follow it.

    The thing about the paragraphs is true. Reading one huge block of text is very hard to do, and that's an understatement. But it's really only aesthetic, and it can be fixed in just a couple of minutes. Breaking up the text, and making new paragraphs for each person who speaks is essential. And it's also a good idea to look over your writing before you post for spelling/grammar errors, and someone has said that too.

    No one's out to bash you or anything, I swear :) Everyone has a starting point with writing (which, most of the time, is not nearly publishable), and the only way to get better is to actually write. And in my opinion, mibba is a place for writers to grow and get the constructive criticism they need in order to do so!
    June 11th, 2011 at 05:41am
  • Star Angel

    Star Angel (100)

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    omg more moremore please i love this so much
    June 11th, 2011 at 02:38am
  • akanevampire19

    akanevampire19 (100)

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    She have a brother!! =O What a shock!
    June 11th, 2011 at 02:37am
  • Star Angel

    Star Angel (100)

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    dont you dare let others think your not good because i love this i dont care what they say you freaking rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who freaking cares if they dont like it they dont have to read it its not like your forcing thier hand so update when you can you have me here no matter what i love this ok sorry im done with my little rant lol
    June 2nd, 2011 at 09:04am
  • Star Angel

    Star Angel (100)

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    omg love this cant wait for more
    June 2nd, 2011 at 09:01am
  • akanevampire19

    akanevampire19 (100)

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    Don'r delete it!! I want to know why her parents die!!!! =S
    June 2nd, 2011 at 01:42am
  • blissful insanity

    blissful insanity (100)

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    i love your story, but it drives me crazy. its kind of hard to understand. i think you should take some one up on their offer to help fix it no offense. i mean the story and the ideas are amazing, but its hard to read
    May 26th, 2011 at 04:12am
  • MrRandomGirl

    MrRandomGirl (100)

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    I haven't read much so far, but from what I've read it is good. But I can't help but notice it's kind of hard to figure out who is saying what. You should use breaks in lines and quotation marks whenever a new person is speaking.
    April 18th, 2011 at 07:25am
  • akanevampire19

    akanevampire19 (100)

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    I hope they get back Dot! =D
    April 17th, 2011 at 06:45pm
  • Totlo_Wolf

    Totlo_Wolf (100)

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    I like the idea, it's a little short, and you need to work on your grammar. I'm sure it'll turn out really good once you fix the errors.
    April 17th, 2011 at 02:56pm
  • DesiraeBenn

    DesiraeBenn (100)

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    ahhhh thats one crazy servent i would tackle her hahaha
    April 9th, 2011 at 03:12pm
  • akanevampire19

    akanevampire19 (100)

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    NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Don't kill Dot!!!! =S
    April 4th, 2011 at 10:48pm
  • GunsandRoses

    GunsandRoses (100)

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    Thank you everyone for your support reads and comments :3
    March 20th, 2011 at 02:47am
  • akanevampire19

    akanevampire19 (100)

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    I want to read more!!! :D
    March 19th, 2011 at 11:37pm
  • StarWeaver

    StarWeaver (100)

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    Stumbled upon this, the idea is good.
    But you really need to start a new paragraph with a new speaker, and just paragraphs in general would help making reading better. It's really hard to understand someone's writing when it's just a mass like that.

    But overall, it's a good story.(:
    March 19th, 2011 at 06:56pm
  • punkdisaster14

    punkdisaster14 (100)

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    I really liek it! i cant wait to read more
    March 19th, 2011 at 06:15pm
  • GunsandRoses

    GunsandRoses (100)

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    I know right O: im trying to find names that are different or never heard of it :3
    March 12th, 2011 at 07:51pm
  • Burgerat20

    Burgerat20 (100)

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    hmmm i hate looking up names too
    March 12th, 2011 at 02:08pm
  • pageofpaper

    pageofpaper (100)

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    Ah i like the story line, it is interesting. also, you wanted us to suggest names? Well you have been using interesting names so far. . . how about a Quinn? or a Justina? :]
    March 10th, 2011 at 03:45am
  • amberBELA

    amberBELA (100)

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    1. Use paragraphs instead of letting everything just be mushed together in one long paragraph.
    2. Use quotation marks when necessary.
    3. It's never ideal to change points of view mid-chapter.
    4. Double check your writing.
    March 10th, 2011 at 02:53am