Slur - Comments

The racism that is, when referring to my comment haha.

I would just like to point out that when they are kissing you have through the my lips-barrier. Perhaps there shouldn't be a the there.
And I love the story keep up the good work.

Oh lord glad this isnt going on in Louisiana. In south Louisiana that is.

awwwwww(:

i thought all the racist comments
and assholeness of the white ppl would turn me off from the story
but i really like it ^_^
update ASAP

You updated twice!! Can you tell me whenever you update, please? To make it easier, I'll add you to my buddies list...and because I wanna be friends. :D

Chapter 6:

I think it's cute that they're both canceling their plans for each other!

I was too busy thinking about how close his dark arm was to mine, how I could feel his body heat when he leaned over a bit in his seat, how I could see his long eyelashes when he dozed off for an instant, how amazing his throaty laugh sounded when he was laughing at something one of the class-clown Hispanics said, how his dreads seemed to frame his face even more perfectly than I’d ever seen it.

I dunno why I felt the need to copy & paste all of that here, but I did anyway because it made me literally bounce in my seat!!

And it's true. Hispanics are usually the class clowns.
I can say that without being racist because I'm Puerto Rican. ;)

I didn't see any mistakes in this chapter. I don't really dwell on those because they're so trivial that it's stupid to pick them out.
Especially since this is such a great story. Like, this might become one of my all-time favorite stories, and I've been on here for some-2 years. :D

--

On the author's note:

I get what you're saying about the loud and proud racist thing. We have a few skinheads here and I think a KKK segment. And lots of Confederate flags flying around, or framed above people's fireplaces, etc. But it's a cultural thing so it's not really a big deal :)

Chapter 7:

I love how strikingly different Troy’s house is from Liam’s. I mean, it’s a shame that Troy is less well-off that Liam, but that’s what makes the story all the more romantic, in a way. It kind of reminds me of the movie Titanic, but with less tragedy and nautical-ness…I hope.

Please do limit the tragedy, dear :)

I busted out laughing when Troy and his dad talked about the “girl’s” ass. That was so cute!

I can relate when Troy thought about whether or not Liam thought about him. That’s such a…feminine thing to do! I do that all the time…and yet, I’m still a single lady. Damn. I’m working on it, don’t worry :D

pinkies pointed and chins held high...

Aww…I love Troy! He’s my favorite thus far. He’s so cute!

…

Why’d you end it there?! Is the next chapter going to be of the date? Can they kiss? Oh my God I hope they kiss!

I hope it’s awkward and cute and adorable and squeal-worthy.

(And I’m sorry this comment may seem a bit choppy. It’s because I did it as I was reading it.)

I hope you update soon. Like tomorrow, maybe? That would be awesome. But if you’re busy or whatever, it’s all good. It’s especially reasonable because you write such long chapters! Even writing a 1,000 word chapter takes a lot out of me. You got skillz, girl.

You’re a very talented writer <3

I had to type this up on Microsoft Word…I tend to click the Back button half way through typing a really long comment.

Why?

Because:

I love this story because i'm a mix between to very cultured familys and my frinde go " how does that work" because my parents are VERY different races so they have different religions. Go Liam and Troy!!!!

Ahh!!! Curse you! You can't end the chapter there. I demand an update! Please. I love how Liam just avoids eye contact instead of pulling his hand away. ^_^ He may not admit it but he's definitely enjoying it. I love how Troy was completely freaking out and when Liam finally shows up he's all smiles. I really want to know what it is that he's got with him too. Can't wait to see how the date goes. Hope to find out soon! <3

I love your story. This story is different and interesting. I love reading your updates and I can't wait for the next one! :)

I dont want to be on the edge of my chair!! I want to be in my chair!! (Is it just me or did that sound a little dirty?? ;o Its probably just me) Update soon please!! Before I fall out of my chair,preferablly

Hey I just wanted to say I love your story alot. Ive been on mibba for 3 years and your story is the best original fiction i have read. Im black and I live in montana so i can definately relate to this story becuase my bf is white and im black and my skool kinda looks at us like wtf so i really want to thank you for writting this so people can actually see that racism still exist today

Hai. I really like this story. For the record though, I'm from South Carolina and we're not racist.

I really like this story
I find it amazing how unique it is
and i'm glad that you're writing it since it seems really good
I hope you update soon!
=D

Errors.

I’d only just met for about two weeks now? <- ‘I’d only just met about two weeks AGO.’ ‘I’d only known for about two weeks now.’

...as large as fathers. Father’s.

…but the other 80% of my wanted to just shake him off of me for good. Me.

…angry at me that I was just planning to ditch him for my friends tomorrow. I think you just need to read through that line again and correct it however you see fit.

Lines that I found amusing:

Because that meant he did what his natural black instincts told him to, and committed a crime.

Liam really bugs me. He's so conceited and self obsessed. This was a very lovely chapter and I enjoyed reading it :)

Of course the mistakes are normal. I mean, sometimes it takes an outsider to pick out the flaws.

Can't wait for the next chapter :)

Why doesn't Liam just as Troy to reshedule? Wouldn't that be easier?

This is a really awesome idea. Not saying that racism is awesome, just the way you are writing the story and the plot. I don't really have much negative feedback. It's all pretty good. If I had to say anything, I would say that it is going a little slow. Like his brain storming and what-not took up a lot of time. Also, the siblings act their age, but maybe some things are too immature for their age. Like they are eight years old and have back-packs that belong to five year olds.

Other than that, the story is awesome and I am reading the updates religiously (:

Wow.
I'm from Massachusetts, so this is all completely foreign to me. With the exception of some gay bashers, I've never seen or read anything like this before. I honestly didn't know that racism to this extent still existed. Well, I guess I did, I've just never seen it face-to-face before.
I'm kind of in shock about how blunt this is. Like I said, racism is not something I have really ever experienced before, so, from my point of view, every slur is loaded and leaves me in a shock for a little bit.
Anyway, I really like this so far. There are a few grammatical errors, but not enough to make me want to stop reading. No biggie. I love slash stories, I'm in the process of writing one myself, so I hope you are able to pull it off well. I've never read anything like this before and I'm interested to see where you'll take it.
Good luck, post soon, and sorry about the rambling comment!(:

Oh my God, I can relate to this so much!
Well, not the forbidden romance thing, but the racism thing.
I'm from southern Virginia, which is completely filled with nasty-looking racists and ignorant Adolf Shitlers.
Even the classes I take are segregated, in a way. My classes are completely filled with white people and some classes only have minorities.

So, I applaud you for writing this. Now, I'm not complaining about the average slash story, but most of them are filled with those sceniebopper boys who weigh 80 pounds and are pale as a beautiful ghost. My stories are mostly like that! So it's nice to see such an interesting idea.

--

Anyway, I like Liam. I think he's a good boy who's been taught some bad things.
Troy is just adorable. He's like a little puppy.

I can't wait to see how these characters develop.

And Anastasia annoys me. She dresses like a 'ho even though she constantly frets over getting gang-raped by a bunch of niggas.

--

I love how excruciatingly blunt your writing is. You're not afraid to blantantly have a character call someone a "shit-colored nigger". I admire people like that because a lot of authors try to censor things like that. But that doesn't happen in real life.

Anyway, I hope you update this soon. Usually I don't subscribe to stories, but I will subscribe to this one because Mibba's story search is really fucked up for some reason. So even if I typed in "slash", this probably wouldn't show up and I'd never get to read it D:

So, yeah, update soon, please. <3

Lines I found amusing:

Stone Mountain: the best place to live, especially if you’re another race. Enjoy your stay! And try not to steal any TVs, okay?

I always wanted piercings, but my dad would stab me in the face if I ever went out and got one.

He was my nigg.

Mistakes:

but the girls’ beauty were inadequate. Distinguishing the difference between ‘was’ and ‘were’ can be tricky, but in this sentence the correct word would be ‘was’. I’m sure it was a simple typo- I make this mistake quite often.

Wait. Is that it? Are there REALLY no more mistakes?

Well, I didn’t catch any. Oh goodness. This is wonderful. I’m so happy. I’m nearly grinning. I’m a angry person, it takes a lot to make me grin. Ha, I kid.

Anyway, this chapter was glorious. I can tell you took a lot of effort into posting it. I can just TELL. And I enjoyed it immensely. IMMENSELY.

And as for your choice in keeping ‘nor’, that’s perfectly fine. Half of the things I say are just suggestions. After all, this is YOUR story. Remember that.

I apologize if I made you feel embarrassed- you shouldn’t be. I re-read my comment, and found that it sounded rather rude. I’m a naturally rude person. I hang out with rude people. I’m used to being an utter bitch to my friends, therefore, I am socially inept, THEREFORE, others do not know how to take me, THEREFORE, I’m sorry.

So, when I leave comments, keep in mind I’m a punk asshole who hangs out with other punk assholes. Therefore, I am not familiar with the normalcy of interacting with other, non-assholes.

And when I said ‘annoyed’, I didn’t mean greatly irritated, I simply meant bothered or bugged-- not a big deal.

Anyway, I like how Liam and Troy are interacting. Liam is a potential sweetheart.

I greatly appreciate/enjoy this. I do hope you continue and I look forward to the following chapter

:)

Interracial slashs are my favorite stories after I read the manga Under Grand Hotel, but it is unbelievable hard to find them. Thank you so much for writing one, its probably the least written about couple! This is an amazing story so far :) please keep it up!