Demonic Germ Warfare - Comments

I'm really intrugiued to see where you'll go with this.
I'm a huge Supernatural fan, so knowing exactly what the virus is makes me want to read even more.
And your summary really captured me.
I honestly can't wait to read more of this :)

infected families house...
Not sure if you meant infected family's house or infected families' house.
It's possessive.

...They do as their told
They're.

I'm not a huge fan of Supernatural but I used to watch it weekly about 2 years ago. Anyways, on to the actual review, I really liked the idea of Croatoan taking over, it's unique in a sense that I haven't seen the idea elsewhere. The characters are introduced well enough, though it was a bit disappointing with mostly Dean being present. I do realize that it's barely the first chapter and as the story unfolds I'd like to see more from each character. I could picture everythingin my head, as if it were a real episode and such.

I wouldn't say Dean or anyone else was OOC since this chapter seems to have been a mere introduction and you did quite well with showing their current situation, how they are surviving (as they always do) and just their thoughts in general. I really felt the part about the place smelling like sulfur and tasting like rotten eggs. xD There are alot of places here that smell that badly and that's connection number one. But, anyway, overall, I think you're doing an amazing job so far. The detail could use a little more work but that's basically it. There are a few sentences which confused me since they didn't have commas, though that's probably just my problem with reading. Huh. I'm definitely subscribing.

I have the chills.

Croatoan gives me anxiety. I get so nervous for those boys and I was nervous for Dean when he was walking up to those people. But Dean is badass so it's silly for me to be nervous because he can handle it. And I giggled when you brought Cas in with a bottle of Jack in his hand. Dean sure is rubbing off on him, huh? (;

"After all, there’s no room for guilt in a kill or be killed world."
That's the line that gave me the chills because there's so much truth to it.

Basically, I love your writing, as if you didn't already know. I love this and I am looking forward to more. <3

This is fantastic!

I love that it's told in the present tense. I see it alot, but often, unless it's in "moment in time" stories, it rarely works. But you combine this with a structured plot, and it works so, so well! In fact, I don't think that this story could have had as much of a profound impact in me if it wasn't. It really makes you think "what if this does happen or is happening?" It's quite a stark, bleak prospect, thinking that the world could end up being some kind of desolate, disease-ridden wasteland where, as you said, it's "kill or be killed". It's almost frightening.

Also, I don't watch Supernatural (we don't get it over here, I don't think), but I could understand everything that was going on perfectly. I could see how Castiel seemed to be the more dominant of the two siblings, how Dean trusts him and does what he says, both just desperate to survive.

It's absolutely brilliant. It's harsh and haunting, but beautiful.

I think this is good. The idea is very unique. Your writing style is precise, clear, and descriptive, and your grammar is excellent Your sentence structure is swishboombam, i.e., simple, compound, complex, complex, compound, simple, y'know? It's varied and it's interesting. I can tell you carefully chose your words, and paid attention to your flow, because it flows like a river, honestly.

His brother’s voice breaks the deafening silence, the syllables cracking like a whip in the air.

Your use of figurative language, i.e., similes up there and imagery like this sentence: It smells like sulfur and tastes like rotten eggs. is excellent and keeps the story interesting.

The dialogue is realistic, and so are your descriptions of the characters and such. This is really wonderful, honestly.

whoaa. this was really good! :) update soon!
i'm subscribing!