September 28th, 2011 at 04:31am
Hi! (: First off, I really liked the title; I adore that song and now I'm going to listen to it. If you don't know what song I'm talking about, just ignore my rambling. xD Now, onto the story itself.
and their was a big, flaming... That their should be there. (: Besides that, I didn't notice any errors grammar wise. However, I think this was a really neat story. I like how you incorporated lyrics of the song into the story without making it overly obvious; overall, I really enjoyed your interpretation of the song and I loved the sense of ambiguity we had throughout; was he dreaming, was he not? I had no idea right up until that last sentence. This was a good piece and I enjoyed reading it. (:
I am sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I wrote down my reasons why in the comment section of my contest.
let me know if you have any questions.
I will be posting the winners in the comment section of my contest later today.