Little Monsters - Comments

  • Mrs. Whirly

    Mrs. Whirly (155)

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    I like it! Great job!
    September 24th, 2011 at 07:39am
  • filthy rotten.

    filthy rotten. (100)

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    JAMES HETFIELD EBNT;LYMLETK;YMKLMTRH I WEED A LITTLE OKAY

    Sorry but :3 James Hetfield :3 :3 :3 this was soooo cute! Very very good work. I loved it.<3

    now if only i could father his children...hm...
    August 31st, 2011 at 02:08am
  • iron and graphite;

    iron and graphite; (100)

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    Aw, this was extremely cute. I read it slowly, so I could capture everything. But honestly, it was amazing. All of it. Oh, and judging by your other stories, you never dissapoint me. I really loved this.You're an amazing writer.
    August 28th, 2011 at 10:15pm
  • iron and graphite;

    iron and graphite; (100)

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    Aw, this was extremely cute. I read it slowly, so I could capture everything. But honestly, it was amazing. All of it. Oh, and judging by your other stories, you never dissapoint me. I really loved this.You're an amazing writer.
    August 28th, 2011 at 10:15pm
  • iron and graphite;

    iron and graphite; (100)

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    26
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    United States
    Aw, this was extremely cute. I read it slowly, so I could capture everything. But honestly, it was amazing. All of it. Oh, and judging by your other stories, you never dissapoint me. I really loved this.You're an amazing writer.
    August 28th, 2011 at 10:14pm
  • iron and graphite;

    iron and graphite; (100)

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    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    Aw, this was extremely cute. I read it slowly, so I could capture everything. But honestly, it was amazing. All of it. Oh, and judging by your other stories, you never dissapoint me. I really loved this.You're an amazing writer.
    August 28th, 2011 at 10:14pm
  • Morpheus' Muse

    Morpheus' Muse (100)

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    Wow. This was so great. Anyone can tell how much work you put into it, and it payed off. The emotions and inner train of thought captivated me, and while I haven't heard the song, I'm sure that this is quite the unique spin on it. Very well done, darling.
    August 28th, 2011 at 08:56pm
  • Em'ly

    Em'ly (100)

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    I read so slowly, that probably took me at least ten minutes to read. Lol. It's only because I try to absorb every detail. But then I really suck at commenting about them.

    My only problem with anything was the wording when you said 'I broke to him the news' it was one of the sentences we talked about in english a lot, awkward wording. It would sound so much neater if it read 'I broke the news to him'.

    Other than that I think your portrayal of the emotions was fantastic. You definitely spent time on this and it's fantastic. :)
    August 28th, 2011 at 08:44pm
  • dirt whispered.

    dirt whispered. (100)

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    First, let me apologize for taking forever to judge this for my contest. Second,

    AWW!! Seriously, this was too adorable. And let me thank you for writing it so beautifully. It's refreshing to read a well written, grammar and spelling mistake free story on here. This was a nice break from the other writing styles I've read today. Great job. Good luck!
    July 20th, 2011 at 08:39pm
  • jewelia.

    jewelia. (2225)

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    I really love this. I usually don't read oneshots, but this was really amazing. You put tons of detail (but not too much to stale the eyes), and you have a beautiful but professional style of writing. You also described the emotions of the characters very well, making it easy for the reader to feel an emotional connection(: The grammar and spelling are very good, I didn't see too many mistakes. I loved to see the relationship between them <3 I can picture everything when you write it. The layout is awesome, too--very fitting for the story. Great job!
    July 19th, 2011 at 04:03am
  • Keith Moon

    Keith Moon (450)

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    I loved this! It was so completely adorable, and the emotions were well written. You showed us, instead of telling us. Absolutely fantastic! Thanks for your entry :)
    July 6th, 2011 at 06:30am
  • Lykwoah

    Lykwoah (100)

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    Norway
    This is so well written! You've put a great deal of detail in it, which is brilliant. I especially liked how you portrayed the relationship between the two lovers without spelling out exactly what they were thinking. It is a wonderful portray about one of the happiest moments in a couple's life.
    March 22nd, 2011 at 01:35pm
  • Saul Hudson

    Saul Hudson (355)

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    It's so cute!!!!!
    I loved it Alex I could picture James' emotions quite well and I thought it was wonderful!!
    March 6th, 2011 at 10:53pm
  • GoddessOfThunder

    GoddessOfThunder (100)

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    Pregnancy limbo...nice! haha

    Can't believe I'm your first comment! Alex, this is amazing! It was so intense and wonderful and I could actually see James smiling (which is a gorgeous thought). You write beautifully and I'm quite jealous at how you can add so much detial, without going over the top. You have every right to be proud of this! Here's one HUGE ARSE virtual hi five!!!!
    February 26th, 2011 at 10:47am