Chaos - Comments

Well first off I like to say thank you for entering the contest. Secondly, to say that I liked this story is an understatement. It was absolutely amazing and I love how you had it all tie in at the end. The choice of words were stunning and it it blew my mind. You make the character seem real with all of the flaws that he has like all humans do and that is amazing to me. The layout was great and it fit well with what it is that you had written up. Over all I loved your interpretation of an amazing song, you truly wrote an amazing story. Keep an eye out for the winners hun, they will be posted soon.

Your flow in this is very lovely and dreamlike and the description and word-choice is beautiful. I think the underlying theme in this is very easy to relate to, even if it's not actually Ryan Ross every kid has some one they feel that way about. I love how you dissected and analyzed the relationship between the artist and audience. The Ryan in this bond is both real and figment, as is the relationship any person tends to have with their hero. I also love how you mentioned that it is a truly simbiotic bond. The artist/hero/Ryan needs us as much as we need him. That's a very important aspect of fandom and related culture that is all too commonly forgotten.
In short, brilliant analysis and work of art! :)

Dude, this layout? I'm in love. I swear to gosh, I'm just tired - not under any sort of influnece - and I find myself just staring at it's amazingess. The picture is kind of trippy, too, aha. Plus, I dig the shades, k?(: All in all, very lovely. <3

From that last line in the beautiful summary, I can tell I'll probably fall in love with this character. He sounds amazing. Mad skill yo, hehe.(:

At the beginning, I was like, "Ahh, he's too perfect." But then as I continued, I felt myself sympathizing with him incredibly much so. It broke my heart, yet I was in love with your details and description, so it's all good. <33

Really and truly, you're a fabulous writer dear. :)

I really love the way the background works with the layout image. It’s interesting, and it definitely draws me in as a reader. I think that the banner picture you chose is very pretty, as well. I think overall that this layout is excellent. I think that the paragraph you used in the summary is intriguing as well. Like the background, it draws me in, and I definitely think it’s going to be an interesting story to read. As for the story itself, it’s simply amazing. I really like the word choice you used. It’s elegant, while at the same time, it shows the emotion you’re trying to get out to the reader. It pulls me in and I can feel the chaos of the story, and your work is amazing that way. I definitely think you chose an interesting interpretation of the song, because like you, I think it’s more about an escape than an actual place. I wish you luck with the contest. ^_^

Wow. Simply wow. The layout and summary both are amazing. The summary just gives you this taste that makes you want more. And so you step inside and just reading it, it's not a story so much as just a recording of a snippit in time, that moment in your life and I really like it. I thought it was beautifully done. Brava.

The Layout: The background is a bit distracting, but who am I to talk? Haha. You saw my layout for Persona. Which is further proof that I love it this one haha. These kinds of backgrounds are my favorite. It adds more flair to the story than a solid color can. (I stole it and made it my desktop background haha) I love the colors, how it fits with the border and the banner you have. It all matches wonderfully.

The Summary: The pure fact that you mention it was inspired by a Beatles song. . . I can’t even find the words to finish my sentence. I just know it will be awesome. You chose the right quote to draw your readers in. The anologies written in it and the descriptions just pull you in.

The Content: This is truly an anomaly. For one I’m not a big fan of Ryan Ross and stories without any dialogue don’t usually catch my attention. But this was so wonderful it was impossible not to fall in love with this. It’s very rare that a story with no dialogue catches my attention, but this one sure has. It was very well constructed, the flow was perfect and it looked so neat. I couldn’t find a single spelling error, I read this twice to see if I could find just one haha. It’s obvious you put a lot of work into this and it really shows.

I thought the text was a bit too small, and I had to squint to be able to read. Other than that the layout is fantastic.

I love how there was no dialogue, just a story told from his point of view, yet in third. Eh, meaning; third pov with a personal touch. I liked that a lot. I love Ryden's, so this was fun to read. And you're using just the right words in just the right places, instead of always going for the "obvious" choice. Nice flow of words too. And, this sentence:

He made us angry when he left, when he hurt himself, when he was filled with more contradictions than love.

I don't know why, but it popped out to me. I think it's because I can relate. Whenever I hurt myself when I was younger my family and friends always reacted with anger, I couldn't understand it then but I do now. I think it was a wonderful sentence.

Good job. :)